David Letterman loves L.A. Land

Hey, you gotta laugh, right? If you agree, watch the beginning of the monologue from last night's David Letterman show. I won't give it all away, but Dave makes a Chihuahua joke and shows off his knowledge of greater L.A. place names. Pretty funny, I thought. The good stuff is between 1:00 and 1:30 of the monologue.

Relatedly: If you love L.A. place names, and dogs, this is the link for you. It's from our dog name database (yes, we have one), and lists dogs named after places in Los Angeles.

The most popular place-name for dogs in Los Angeles? You know you want to know. Here's the top three:
--Pico (65 registered dogs in greater L.A. named "Pico")
--Corona (60 dogs)
--Malibu (47 dogs)

I know, I know. It's silly.

--Peter Viles

Your thoughts? Comments?

Photo Credit: Associated Press

Update: 'Saturday Night Live' says bailout skit 'didn't meet our standards'

Update: A "Saturday Night Live" skit that skewered President Bush, Democrats, homebuyers and subprime lenders for their roles in the mortgage meltdown was removed from the program's website because it "didn't meet out standards," a spokesman for the show said Tuesday. An edited version of the skit will be re-posted online soon, the spokesman said.

The skit, a parody of a C-SPAN news conference, ridiculed subprime borrowers, housing speculators and Herb and Marion Sandler, the real-life couple who built Golden West Financial into a subprime lending powerhouse and sold it to Wachovia before the subprime collapse. At one point in the skit, the Herb Sandler character says he made $24 billion off the subprime boom. Graphics then appear labeling the Sandlers as "People who should be shot."

"Upon review, we caught certain elements in the sketch that didn't meet our standards," a spokesman for the program said in an e-mail message today. "We took it down and made some minor changes, and it will be back online soon."

Conservative blogger Michele Malkin, who called the skit "hilarious, dead-on, and surprisingly honest," reports that the Sandlers, prominent donors to liberal causes, were "seething over the skit" before it was removed from the "SNL" website.

The blog Hot Air is also chasing the disappearing video, and readers on that blog found the video last night on You Tube -- although by Tuesday morning the You Tube video had been removed "due to a copywright claim by NBC Universal." The video was still available, however, on the site snlbailout.com, which also links to media coverage of the skit and its disappearance.

On the message board at the "Saturday Night Live" website, commenters were accusing the program of self-censorship for removing the video. "Wow -- I'm genuinely scared by your censorship of the CSPAN bailout video," wrote commenter Dan. He added, "Are you really that evil?"

Another commenter on the show's website, Jack H, wrote, "If this skit is being censored for political purposes, that is truly sad.   My friends said there was more truth in the skit than a Democratic press conference regarding the matter.  Who was offended and threatened SNL/NBC???   This is worse than BANNING BOOKS."

My original post about the SNL skit appears below, unedited, with links that no longer work.

===

From time to time over the last 30 years or so, "Saturday Night Live" has done some pretty good political analysis wrapped in sketch humor. This weekend was one of those times. If you have seven minutes, watch this weekend's SNL take on the bailout. It starts to get good about halfway through.

Two cents: In addition to being pretty funny, the skit makes two strong political points that are frustratingly absent in much of the bailout coverage. First, the blame game: Both political parties have mortgage mud and housing bubble goo all over them. Yes, Republicans tried to throw a rope around Fannie Mae, and Democrats stopped them. Well, some Democrats wanted to stop predatory lending, but couldn't get much Republican help. But that argument misses the larger point: Both parties were happy with "financial innovation" on Wall Street and expanded levels of homeownership. Both parties worshiped at the altar of Alan Greenspan, never questioning the big-picture policies (low interest rates, crazy mortgage loans, unregulated credit markets) that got us here.

The second political point, equally obvious and equally missing from most recent coverage, is that the current crisis has its roots in the housing bubble. And the housing bubble drew on willing participation from millions of Americans who wanted more house than they could afford and in many cases tried to play the housing market for profit. It's all in the skit.

--Peter Viles

Your thoughts? Comments? E-mail story tips to Peter Viles.

I fought the bailout, and all I got was a t-shirt.

Anti-bailout t-shirts are here, and they are funny, but they are also, in a way, deadly serious.

This is how it works in America in 2008: On Monday, bailout backlash was a historic popular revolt that shocked Washington and Wall Street. Today the bailout is law and the revolt is just a t-shirt, available on-line for $15.

If you can't read it, the shirt says, "Got $700 billion?"

And so capitalism, in the form of on-line t-shirt vendors, clings to life in America.

On a serious note: There is some real generational backlash going on here. From what my 40-something ears can still hear, I sense that young people are pretty ticked off at Baby Boomers for creating messes like this one, and then sending the bill to the next generation.

I repeat what commenter "awing" wrote here earlier today:

The baby boomer generation have given us youngsters a going away present as they head off to retirement; the bill for their retirement accounts.

Tune in to our wallets.
Turn off democratic representation.
Drop out with the wealth of future generations.

Thanks, aging hippies!

--Peter Viles

Your thoughts? Comments? E-mail story tips to Peter Viles.
Photo Credit: www.cafepress.com

Nigerian E-mail scam? Nope. It's the Paulson bailout. Seriously.

Blogger's note: This e-mail is making the rounds today; I saw it first on this blog, posted as a comment. It speaks for itself.

Dear American:

I need to ask you to support an urgent secret business relationship with a transfer of funds of great magnitude.

I am Ministry of the Treasury of the Republic of America. My country has had crisis that has caused the need for large transfer of funds of 800 billion dollars US. If you would assist me in this transfer, it would be most profitable to you.

I am working with Mr. Phil Gram, lobbyist for UBS, who will be my replacement as Ministry of the Treasury in January. As a Senator, you may know him as the leader of the American banking deregulation movement in the 1990s. This transaction is 100% safe.

This is a matter of great urgency. We need a blank check. We need the funds as quickly as possible. We cannot directly transfer these funds in the names of our close friends because we are constantly under surveillance. My family lawyer advised me that I should look for a reliable and trustworthy person who will act as a next of kin so the funds can be transferred.

Please reply with all of your bank account, IRA and college fund account numbers and those of your children and grandchildren to wallstreetbailout@treasury.gov so that we may transfer your commission for this transaction. After I receive that information, I will respond with detailed information about safeguards that will be used to protect the funds.

Yours Faithfully Minister of Treasury
Henry Paulson

Analysis: What a country, right?

--Peter Viles

Your thoughts? Comments? E-mail story tips to Peter Viles, or follow L. A. Land on Twitter

Photo: Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson

Credit: Bloomberg News

Real estate marketing, Malibu style

Eagle-eyed Malibu blogger and real estate agent Michael Gardner spotted this little marketing gimmick in Malibu over the weekend. The old bikini-girls-with-the-fliers routine. He writes: "These two ladies were hired to sunbathe on lounge chairs on PCH and to pass out flyers about rentals at Villa Malibu. In the 5 minutes I was there several people pulled up to get flyers and numerous construction workers drove by real slow either giving a thumbs up or a salutory honk of the horn."

Hey, times are tough. Whatever works. It's certainly cheaper than throwing a big booze party, which is another Malibu marketing trick these days.

Here's the website for Villa Malibu.

-- Peter Viles
Photo Credit: The Malibu Real Estate Blog

The tomato that paid the mortgage

Sage real estate editors and reporters will tell you that any story can be a real estate story. (Witness Peter Viles’ filing last week on that chunky foreclosed-upon cat.)

So it was flipping through “In Praise of Tomatoes” (2004),  by Ronni Lundy, in search of a summer recipe, that I found this tale: Back in the '30s, West Virginia mechanic M.C. Byles cross-bred four hefty varieties to come up with plants that yielded tomatoes averaging 2.5 pounds. Selling the plants for $1 apiece, he was able to pay off his $6,000 mortgage in six years. These heirloom tomatoes, still around and available for purchase, are called Radiator Charlie’s Mortgage Lifters.

Of course it’s unlikely anyone’s mortgage woes today will be solved by a tomato. But who can top that for an unlikely way to pay off a home loan?

-- Lauren Beale

Your thoughts? Comments?
Photo credit: Los Angeles Times

Funniest Jose Canseco foreclosure headlines

Finally a foreclosure story we can all laugh at. If you can't see the humor potential in the story of Jose Canseco losing his Encino home to foreclosure, I can't help you. The best I've seen:

From the comment section at Calculated Risk:
--Canseco gets called out trying to steal home.
--The Oakland Alt-A's?
--A walk-off home. Er.
--I guess he was thrown out while trying to steal home.
--Britney needs a man in her life to provide some stability, maybe she should give Jose a call.
--Home... Run!

From L.A. Land
--Jose Walks
--Canseco took a walk, but was called out at home.
--New words for an old standard:
"Jose can you flee by the dawn's early light?"

Photo: Jose Canseco; credit: Los Angeles Times.

When the broker won't quit: An e-mail exchange

A reader writes to complain about a real estate broker who wouldn’t take no for an answer, and to pass along their e-mail exchange. In the exchange, she’s trying to get herself removed from his e-mail list of houses for sale. He’s … well, you decide what he’s trying to accomplish:

READER to BROKER:
PLEASE REMOVE ME FROM THIS LIST!!! Thank you ~

BROKER'S RESPONSE:
We can remove you from this list, but may we first ask why you are choosing to unsubscribe?

READER:
We purchased a home already so no longer need to receive listings.
Thank you ~

BROKER:
May we ask one more question.  When you where looking for real estate you found us useful, but when it came time to purchase you forgot about us?  Could you let us know why?  It would help us in our business model.  Thanks.

READER:
I was not looking in the areas you sent me e-mails about. Plus, I have had a real estate agent since the very beginning. Please remove me from the list and no more questions.
Thank you

BROKER:
Please lose our website address.  Use your realtor’s website next time so we aren’t bothered with your stupidity and rudeness.

READER:
I have e-mailed you multiple times to be removed from this list and have been ignored, including right after I got an agent and determined that I would not be buying in the areas you were sending me homes for. You offer no "unsubscribe" or "opt out" option on the list, which is what you are supposed to have in order for me to unsubscribe on my own. When I FINALLY receive a response from you, you pepper me with questions that are really none of your business. It is the law that if I request removal from e-mail lists, you must do so. There is really no reason to be rude to me as you so clearly were. I am seriously considering forwarding your e-mail to the CA Division of Real Estate to show them your unprofessional behavior (as well as telling them about your e-mail practices in general) and will be sure to tell everyone I know that your company should be avoided if they are interested in buying or selling real estate. Have a wonderful day.

BROKER;
Go ahead and forward the e-mail, it was sent in response to a rude person.  FYI USING ALL CAPS IS CONSIDERED YELLING!!!  Next time you e-mail someone just type.
Please tell all your friends to avoid us as we are not interested in referrals from people that don’t use our services.  Let them go somewhere else.  Our site is for our clients only.

There you have it. Thoughts? Comments? E-mail story tips to peter.viles@latimes.com

The ballad of the housing bubble

Diversion: Here's a fun music video on the housing bubble -- a country-style ballad in which the buyer takes a teaser-rate loan, refis, builds instant equity, blows it on a Hummer and a Hawaii vacation, and then ... well, you know what happens next.

Foreclosure.

I talked to the creators, and they are both interesting people. Dave Girtsman, the singer-songwriter, was an appraiser in Ventura Country in the early years of the bubble and eventually quit the business to be a Web developer. He rents a house in Ventura County.

Amy Baniecki, the animator, is the kind of person you only meet in Southern California. Animator, actress and 115-pound, bikini-wearing Mexican mask wrestler known to her fans as "Crybaby." Here's her IMBD page. She's also a renter in Ventura County.

Enjoy the video, and support your local independent housing bubble filmmaker by recommending their video in the comment section.

Thoughts? Comments? Email story tips to peter.viles@latimes.com.

Joel Stein gets it

Since joining the L.A. Times staff, I've become a more faithful reader of the newspaper, and I've come to a very controversial conclusion: columnist Joel Stein (pictured) is a funny, funny guy*. I give you exhibit A, today's column about the ridiculouslness of the real estate bubble and the stimulus package:

"... when the government senses you might blame it for something -- such as the fact that you spent $1 million on a three-bedroom house, and now you owe a ridiculous $1 million for a lousy three-bedroom house -- it panics like a grandparent and sends you a small check in the mail."

More: "No reasonable person would give us more money after what we've done with ours. They would tell us to put some cash in the bank and stop using the AmEx to make every appliance in our house either flat or made of stainless steel, as if we were preparing to trap "Superman II" villains."

More: "We got here for the same reason people always get in trouble, from prom night to the blackjack table to Iraq: We got overexcited. We ignored centuries of data saying real estate is a worse investment than stocks, and instead based our investment strategy on the fact that our neighbor totally just sold his house for a serious ton of money, for real."

Thoughts? Comments? Insights? E-mail story tips to peter.viles@latimes.com.
*I've also come to the conclusion that most of the people who don't think Joel Stein is a funny guy are bitter (and not very funny) journalists who want a cushy job like his.