Name that bailout: What would you call the biggest bailout ever?

As I type this the Treasury Secretary -- "Handout" Hank Paulson -- is reportedly considering the bailout to end all bailouts, a large government trash can where Wall Street will dump all the toxic waste that was so clever and lucrative when it was produced, but is now so stinky and lethal.

Remember that: It was lucrative. People got rich scheming and dreaming up the crap that nobody wants to touch today, the stuff the government might soon buy with your money.

But I digress. The purpose of this post is to ask you to Name That Bailout. Remember that history gives us the Resolution Trust Corp., or RTC. Here are the early suggestions:

Uncle Billy calls it the Dissolution Bust Conflagration (DBC).

Anon113 calls it The FDSL, Federal Dept. of Socialized Losses.

 

G O calls it "govt housing & insurance & cars for everyone"

I'm sure someone will borrow the name of a popular blog and nominate "The Mess That Greenspan Made."

Anon666 suggests, Stocks and Housing Insurance Trust.

Send me your ideas in the comment section; I'll add some to the post.

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-- Peter Viles

Photo Credit: Treasury Secretary Paulson, at right, via Getty Images

Comments

[Michael Snyder]

It's clear common sense has gone the way of the gooney bird. What happened to our free market economy? Where is the Constitutional prerogative for such action? Where is the money going to come from?
To the unqualified observer it seems the Bush administration has taken a page right out of the Hugo Chavez playbook. The damage these criminals have done to our country has been earth-shaping; and our gutless Congress just follows blissfully along knowing people will vote by party, gender or rumor long before they will ever take a look at the record and vote on the issues that effect their daily lives.
Every hunter knows an animal is most dangerous in it's death throes and this administration is no different. They'll save their Wall St buddies, for a time. But sooner or later the tab will come due.

[amir]

The Lenin Trust

The Greenspan Legacy Trust

[gerald]

A crisis that began with easy money needs more easy money to solve itself? Welcome to the brave new world of bailouts where the government solves problems by giving away money it doesn't have.

The bailout:

F#$K the Country, We Got an Election to Win

Bet the House, the Kids, and the Country

Nationalize banks, give away houses, nationalize the auto industry, but instead of communism, lets call it 21st Century Capitalism

[Bryan Morris]

How about "the home equity eradication program for middle class taxpayers"?

[TC]

How about:

"The Death of the Middle Class" Bailout.

I did not read Bryan Moriss' comment before thinking this up, but I wholeheartedly agree.

The rich got richer, lost a ton of jobs for the middle class, then left all that bad debt on the back of the middle class taxpayer.

So long and thanks for the dream, I am gonna go plant a garden and learn how to get along without utilities and a vehicle. I would have been quite happy if the status quo was just kept low to begin with, now i get to see what poverty might be like.

[LA-renter]

...No name yet...

But does this mean that we can finally make peace with Cuba?

[Anonymous]

COLEH

(Heloc in reverse)

[MyLessThanPrimeBeef]

USA - Unrepenting Spendthrifts of America

SIT - Social Insecurity Trust

EIDS - Europe In Dire Straits

[mbob]

Been growing a garden for years because it matters.

Watched someone in front of me at the supermarket today run up a $300 cart of mostly processed foods. Take your choice. Weed or bleed.

Still see the SUV's and pickups blow past me on the freeway, let alone the 18 wheelers.

The banking cat is long out of this generation's bag. We have been left to twist in the wind while the smirking perma bulls slink away with whatever they have been able to carry.

How did anyone think it was going to end? An all-you-can-eat buffet with an open bar?

[Anon666]

Stocks and Housing Insurance Trust

[Nelcisco]

How about this Peter,
"The Silencing of Elliott 'Ness' Spitzer".

He was the only one that was shaking Wall Street down, I guess sex with a hooker is worse than a what those pirates on Wall Street did, whose the Governor now? Why aren't there any investigations to try and convict those pirates, they violated SEC laws in spades, Chris Cox needs to be not just fired but locked up as well for his role in all of this

SPITZER FOR PRESIDENT

[sheila]

why not "BUSH?"

Billionaires

Underwritten (by that)

Smirking

Halfwit

[Brian]

It's no surprise that "W" would saddle us with more debt and take care of his financial industry constituents as he is walking out the door. How do we pay for this and keep tax cuts "permanent"? Is this what they teach at Harvard MBA school?

[cindy]

The end of Prudence corp.

Gaming the system is cool corp.

Moral Hazard Wins corp.

Credit cards are next corp.

[150 multiple choice questions]

Hopefully congress will say, "hey, this is pathetic. Do you really think SocialCommunism is the answer here, boys?"

But while their at it, I'd like them to pay my car, preschool, creditcards, meals and throw in a little for strippers and booze! Spend spend spend, right! Why stop at housing?

[Irate Taxpayer]

It's nice to know that I, as a would-be first time home buyer, have not only been completely priced out of the market, but that I may now also be compelled to bail out sleazy real estate speculators and irresponsible homeowners. That's right - I'm bailing out your granite countertops, your stainless steel appliances, your vessel sinks, and all the other fluff that you absolutely did not need and could not afford. That's wonderful.

Not only that, but according to what I'm hearing, RTC II will be used to, in effect, prop up prices by essentially having the government take a loss to lower mortgage payments for the homeowners who had no business taking out these ridiculous loans in the first place. So it's a double slap in the face.

Whatever happened to the concept of "risk"? You can't possibly tell me that people actually believed that it was a good idea to refinance five times and take out HELOCs. This entire system is disgusting. It's another example of privatizing profits and socializing losses.

[Amazing_Happens]

I like Anon's 666's suggestion.

I'll add mine:

Coordinated Residency Assistance Program

[arroyogrande]

RTC II

My current (naive) thoughts are that they are contemplating a "master reset" of the system...take over the institutions that have these bad debts (banks, brokerages, etc.) ala AIG by forcing a majority equity stake and loan-shark loans to these companies in return for taking the cr@p paper off their hands. Then, help those homeowners that can be saved, and mark down the paper to fire sale levels on those that can't be saved (liar loans on option arms, etc.). Fire sale the houses they end up with to reach the market clearing price as soon as possible.

Fire sale or auction off everything to clear out and re-prime the system.

Long term (3-5 years) this would be a bullish indication for the stock market. Short term, not so much..quite a few companies will get AIG'd or Fannie'd for this to work.

Also, house prices will fall to market clearing prices much quicker, allowing us to get on with our lives building a sustainable economy not built upon selling things to people that they cannot afford.

I could be wrong, but that's how I see things...considering what happened to AIG.

[E]

TDST

Toxic Derivatives Soup Trust

[Richard H]

Bailout?

A new word needs to be used.

Remember all the Presidential Pardons William Jefferson Clinton granted on the last day of his presidency?

http://www.usdoj.gov/opa/pardonchartlst.htm

There's a similarity here, no? Only worst by a factor of some several billions, yes?

How many shopping days left until January 21, 2009?

The question is will there still be a solvent, sovereign United States of America on January 21, 2009?

[Allan]

The bailout is necessary to stop the meltdown of the stock market which would wipe out trillions of the people's equity in retirement funds, etc. Added to the trillions of housing equity loss we would be in a massive depression in short order.
So the brilliant politicians have devised a way to postpone this pain with their great plan. However, the plan doesn't have a way to make the world buy the extra trillions of treasury debt they will have to issue to pay for the bailouts. Nor does the plan have a way to pay the extra interest that this debt will incur, except to print more debt. It will just end up with the same giant depression except the pain will be dragged out for many extra years.

[anon2008]

The "We Are ALL Complicit in this Mess, There are No Virgins Here Trust Corporation"

The "Get Off Your High-Horse and Realize We Are ALL a Cause of This Mess Corporation"

Or...

"The Cheney Fund"

[anon2008]

"Same As It Ever Was Corporation"

[Reno Dino]

No Soup for You Bailout.

[mort]

I don't know what to call the bailout, but my nickname for Hank P. is Milo, as in Milo Minderbinder. "Everyone has a share."