A call to poets: stay alive

Sometimes it seems as though poets, in particular, move in an endangered artistic world. Think Sylvia Plath, above; John Berryman, Anne Sexton. And, last month, Rachel Wetzsteon, an accomplished poet who took her own life at age 42.

Writer Jennifer Michael Hecht, who teaches at the New School, knew Wetzsteon; her death got her thinking about artists grappling with suicide. "I’m issuing a rule," she writes. "You are not allowed to kill yourself." Where we once had religious proscriptions against suicide, Hecht's is a secular injunction. She cites community, creativity and gratitude. And, while this is too late for her friend, she offers a lifeline:

Some part of you doesn’t want to end it all, and I’m talking to her or him, to that part of you. I’m throwing you a rope, you don’t have to explain it to the monster in you, just tell the monster it can do whatever it wants, but not that. Later we’ll get rid of the monster, for now just hang on to the rope. I know that this means a struggle from one second to the next, let alone one day at a time. Know that the rest of us know that among the faces we have met there are some right now who can barely take another minute of the pain and uncertainty. And we are in the room with you, going from one moment to the next, in whatever condition you manage to do it. Sobbing and useless is great!  Sobbing and useless is a million times better than dead. A billion times. Thank you for choosing sobbing and useless over dead... Don’t kill yourself. Suffer here with us instead. We need you with us, we have not forgotten you, you are our hero. Stay.

-- Carolyn Kellogg

Photo: Poets Sylvia Plath and Ted Hughes. Credit: Rollie McKenna / File

Comments

[Sparrow]

Thank you J.M. Hecht and C. Kellogg. Thanks for a little bit of light here.

[paul kerr]

Very well put. These days we need the insights and eloquence of as many poets as we can get! Life without poetry, music, art is flat and colorless. I know poets tend to be highly sensitive but if you're thinking about ending it all recall the great Russian poet Osip Mandelstam: he contemplated suicide but refused to do it. Some of his best work came out during the darkest days of Russian history.

[Paul]

Suicide is the most controversial topic the world has ever endured. In some circumstances it is an example of utter cowardness and in other circumstances, of total courage.

[Polly 579]

This is not and has never ever been an "artist friendly" culture or society to live, struggle or even exist in, let alone to just survive emotionally, artistically and socially. I highly suggest ( recommend and encourage ) that the correct people think, consider and then act to create an organization to do just that and to provide us with any and all mental health ( human health! ) resources available. Microscopic pennies on the dollar if at that. One could start with a very safe and secure Web site for such things as a start point. There are many people in the arts who have major resources to devote ( financially ) to such a wonderful, healing and life saving cause and organization. Think this one over deeply, and then act powerfully and with precision in this matter. Break the stigma and create a better world for all of us in doing so.

[Donna]

"Stay." That was the perfect way to end this piece. The brevity of Carolyn's thoughts made more of an impact than would a lengthy article. I think her words should be passed on and on, shared with many. Often something like this can make the difference between remaining in this world and choosing to leave it. To address Polly's comment here, I agree that an organization might be useful, but it's more than mental health we need. Poets are often in financial need. When you feel driven to write but can not make ends meet, you wonder why you continue. Over time, that can lead to depression and suicidal thoughts. In past centuries, writers sometimes had benefactors who would pay their bills or give them somewhere to live so they could focus solely on their writing. While it is unrealistic to sponsor every poet financially, an organization that could offer grants (without the recipients jumping through hoops) would be a God-send.

[Donna]

My apologies. It was Jennifer Hecht who penned that beautiful sentiment, but thanks also to Carolyn Kellogg for bringing it to the attention of the public.

[julia germaine]

carolyn! nice little article; you were linked on silliman's blog. thanks for writing this.