The politics of gift giving
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A new editor ponders the question of gifts among authors, editors and agents: Who should send whom what, and when? This editor, who blogs anonymously, would like to think:
Gifts are nice to celebrate things, but they shouldn’t be considered a requirement. I think this is a three-way street: an author shouldn’t be expected to buy a gift for her editor or her agent, an agent shouldn’t be expected to buy a gift for an author or an editor. These are things we should do if we WANT to. Gifts are just nice. Nice things to do. If they arrive, woohoo! A pleasant surprise.
This is a nice idea, but I fear it just isn’t practical.
I once worked for a music lawyer in New York -- at the time, music lawyers functioned like agents, finding and signing talent and shopping it around to major labels. I worked for the indie rock guy at the bigtime fancy music law firm. How fancy? We were on 57th Street. We had a painting by John Mellencamp, a client, hanging in the conference room that looked out over Central Park.
Gifting and receiving was a precise business at the firm. On Valentine’s Day, the assistant who didn’t get a box of Godivas from her boss was obviously on the outs. Years of service were translated into ever-larger boxes of expensive chocolates.
The inside rules held true for external relations. At holiday time (the Christmas/Hannukah blend), there was a card race. Who would get the most? How to display the cards -- to show off the volume? The prestigious senders? One firm sent some attorneys custom-made cards by an outsider painter who was getting big in the rock world. Those cards never got thrown out; the lawyers who got them were cool all year round. As for gifts -- well, I got a present from Tiffany’s and I’d only been there one year.
When it comes to gift-giving and gift-receiving, from-the-heart is nice, but it’s not the only factor at play. Especially in business. Especially in businesses where egos are involved.
Not getting gifts makes people sad.
The blogging editor writes:
Last year, I sent cards (rather dinky home-made ones, I’ll confess) to my active authors and agents (‘active’ meaning the ones I had corresponded with in the last calendar year). I remember being vaguely sad that none of my authors had wanted to send me gifts, but since I didn’t even think to send gifts to any of them, I don’t suppose I had a right to be sad!
First, dinky homemade cards are better than all other cards, in my book, except for those cards that say a donation has been made in your name to fight AIDS or poverty or do work bettering the planet.
Second, ‘active’? Think about all those authors sitting at home, toiling away in silence, wondering why their editor doesn’t love them anymore. Moms in the ‘70s used holiday time as catching-up time, sending form letters that summarized the last year in a few paragraphs. It doesn’t take much effort to write a card, and it’s more significant than an e-mail. A card says, at that joyous/awkward time of the year: Hey, I’m thinking about you, you’re on my radar. Imagine how far that kindness will go with an author who thinks you might have forgotten him.
Third, ‘being vaguely sad’ just goes to show that if you yearn for that gift-giving attention, then the authors do too. Admit that you want it. Then connive to get it by being generous first. I’m entirely sure that the company that sent out the cool, custom-painted cards got swamped with special gifts the following year.
-- Carolyn Kellogg
Photo of a gift and card from Amazon by Del Far via Flickr
