Dispatch: 'Like he didn't even exist'

"When does this stop hurting?" Althea Mizell wailed.

She had begun sobbing while recounting her son's murder.

It has been almost a year since Marcellus D'Angello Mizell, 36, was shot at 57th and Western Avenue in South-Central Los Angeles.

D'Angello, as his family called him, was "not an angel," his mother said. She recalled the day she learned he'd joined the gang: He was standing silhouetted against the light of the kitchen, and she saw a large bump on the back of his head. He had been hit--jumped into the gang without her knowledge.

They knocked out a couple of teeth too.

After that, he was in and out of jail. No arguments swayed him. "You are not my mom. The Crips are my mom!" he had snapped at her during one quarrel. But when he went to jail, she was the one he called.

His long rap sheet included trespassing, drug sales and drug possession. He was never home from prison longer than a year, she said. "Every one of these white hairs is D'Angello," his mother said, plucking at gray strands in her brown hair.

She was alone. After two tours in Vietnam, D'Angello's father had ended up on the streets. In the early 1980s, he became a homicide victim in Inglewood.

D'Angello eventually reached the age when she could no longer influence him. So Althea Mizell would unplug her phone at night. It was a small measure of control over the constant dread she felt. "If he was dead at eleven he would still be dead at five," she reasoned.

In the end, the news came by a knock at the door.

He was still alive at the hospital when she got there. He had been shot, execution-style, through the eye, exposing his brains.

When she saw his mangled head, she could go no further than the end of his bed. Her legs wouldn't carry her. An orderly was holding her up. She touched his feet and retreated.

Two days passed. He remained on life support so that his organs could be donated.

Althea Mizell treasures the organ-donor certificate they gave her--a piece of crisp parchment paper in a blue paper cover. "It is the proudest thing I have from him," she said. "Three people's lives were saved."

Since then, she has been, as she puts it, "a mess." The pain seems to get worse, not better, she said.

Over and over, she mulls the details of his death, the way his head was blown open, the way he lay for so long on the street.

She is preoccupied with the fact that the case is unsolved.  She talks of not caring whether she dies, and of going to hell so she can find his murderer. "This is killing me," she said, between gasps.

She has a sense that people see him as having had little value, she said. No one has come forward to help solve the case. Even well-meaning friends tell her she should have expected it. 

"It's like he didn't even exist," she said. "I don't want anyone to think he didn't matter. He did matter! He was a human being! ... I want people to know that someone cares about Marcellus D'Angello Mizell."

Marcellus D'Angello Mizell was killed early on Nov. 19, 2006, at W. 57th Street and Western Avenue. There is a $50,000 reward for information on this homicide. LAPD 77th Street Division detectives are at (213) 485-1383. Photos, Althea Mizell, D'Angello, and D'Angello's bedroom, last week, which his mother has left untouched since his funeral. His shoes are still lined up against one wall, as they were the day he died.

Comments

[leevern03]

I started reading these stories and it is the same sadness over and over again. Regardless of what type of lifestyle lived by these deceased people/children it still is safe to say they were loved by someone. None of us should sit in judgement or condemnation of these individuals. If not for God's grace it could be You or I and I am grateful it was/is not me. You see it took me well into my adult years to realize that no one grows up saying " I wanna be a gang banger" "crack Head" "jailbird" or whatever we so quickly judge people as. But somehow though dealing with life's issues using whatever coping mechanisms we have developed & working with what we have . But remember when we were children/teens we kinda snuck and did what we could get away with anyways it is just the nature of youth. Some get caught up and some are fortunate enough to get out. Mrs. Mizell you are not alone and God loves you he just wants you to allow him to comfort you with is love. Dont even think about the person who did this because I know personally that God is able to bring that person or persons to justice . My father was killed in a driveby shooting at my home not the intended victim but caught in the line of fire and the only one hit by one of five shots fired. The shooter was a hard core gangbanger ran for 6 months but came back and turned himself in already facing his 3rd strike. He came to the courthouse 2 days in a row to turn himself in, was tried and convicted of my dads murder another carjacking murder the year before and an assault before that. Oh I know justice will be served. Maybe you wont get the chance to see it, but it does happen. But you can have peace today just allow God to hold you close when you miss your son and thank God for the time you had with your son and husband . I will pray for you God Bless you.

[K.Winn]

My heart aches for you Ms. Mizell. I pray every night for those that have taken the wrong path and the families of the victims and perpetrators.. I'm sorry it hasn't gotten any better but time does heal all wounds. May the peace you seek come soon but while you grieve please know that others are praying for you also.

[Linda Carole McIntyre]

As a mother I am horrified at what you are going through. There are many words I could say but none of them would take away the pain. It doesn't matter if he was a gang member, he was your son. My heart and prayers are with you and hope somehow the knowledge that others are there for you will help, if only in a small way. Love and God Bless. Linda Carole.

[Bob]

Ms. Mizell:
I am proud of you for having the strength to deal with this. I know if your son had lived he would have wanted the best for you. Please don't allow the rest of your life to be ruined by this tragedy. I am praying for you and the sould of your son and husband. Try to focus on the good times and the good memories. Not much to console you with but if you would contact me I would be happy to buy you dinner or play a game of cards or go to a movie with you. I know you are probably feeling pretty down and lonely. Please let others comfort you...

[Ken R]

You know it's really nice that we like to post these warm fuzzy comments about some of these victims.

Let's stop being "Politically Correct" and acting like we don't see the pink elephant in the corner.

While my heart "TRULY" goes out to this gentlemans mother, let's be "HONEST" and admit that this was probably inevitable, not just for him but for "ALL" gang members.

The majority of these young men (gang members) either wind up dead or incarcerated.

Please understand that by no means am I saying that "ANYONE" should have their life end this way, but if we are to be "Totally Honest" some of these victims led lives or commited acts that put their life in danger.

According to a quote listed in the story this gentleman told his mother "You're not my mom, the crips are my mom" but when he went to jail where was his gang member family then?????

This gentleman's life should be used as an example to young men who are thinking of joining a gang, to show them what could possibly happen when you don't listen to your parent(s) and when you choose to become a gang member.

I'm sure none of these guys think they are going to get killed or caught committing a crime.....but look at the statistics, better yet look at this blog!!!
The law of averages proves that eventuallly there's a "GREAT" chance that your deeds and behavior will catch-up with you.

[Alejandroe84]

I'd First like to send my condolences to you Ms. Mizell.

Second, I cannot comprehend, in words, on how much you've been hurting. It must be difficult, and it seems at worlds end.

Its sad to hear, as I have been reading some of these blogs, and stories, to see how much , grief, and destruction, the human force, has done to this world, this society, of guilt, shame and harm. You can only feel for a mother, with all the hard work, love and admiration, in which she put one hundred percent of time in her sons life. To see it cease, and feel it sink deep into her soul.

As a Canadian, our gun laws, are, in my opinion are more fierce, more strict. The gun law system, yes, may in fact trickle through the American border,but once again, our border protection only fails us, ans slips. No wonder, the white flag is on Mexico, and its counter parts. If only there were more structure, and less leaks through cracks, perhaps we will see the end of this and perhaps it will succumb and cease.

Every month, there are bundles of this torment, and hurt, going on in the CA district.But where are the dictators, where are your nay sayers, and leftist buyers? To hear this day in and out, you also being to questions, where are the mentors?, where are the teachers in schools?, where is the full community?, and the mayors on this continuous vicious cycle.

For all the struggle that goes in the more impoverished counties, and communities to be able to wipe out the issue, lets get together and find the root, from there we can start to diminish this anguish and fierce storm of destruction.

I wish you the very bes to your future, god bless, there is a light at the end of a tunnel, your eyes may hurt a little, and it may seem bleak, but its there. find it.

[Jeff M.]

As a former resident of Los Angeles, and having been exposed to stories such as Ms. Mizell's to the point of numbness, I offer, in addition to my prayers for her and her family, the following inquiry: if a segment of a community is disproportionately affected by violence and premature death, where is that community segment's action plan aimed at improving the education system by achieving a higher degree of parental involvement, eliminating the cultural biases that favor and glorify violence and ending the demonization of law enforcement officials who try to do their jobs in the midst of a culture that seems to convey the message that stopping the violence is at the bottom of the priority list? These are not racist questions, but so long as we fear serious discussion about these topics, the tears and lamentations ring hollow.

[Cynthia]

Althea, please know that there are many people who are certain that your son was deeply loved by God and that God felt your son's pain and that he feels yours. Mother to mother, I can only imagine the constant grief you must feel. I hope you can hear that many of us do believe your son didn't deserve this, that he deserved the very best in life. And yet, he did get the very best of one of life's most important things: a mother who truly loved him. There is no doubt you made his life better in ways he never found a way to tell you about. So as leevern03 says so well, when you're missing your son, just let God hold you close.

[tricia]

Dear Ms Mizell.
I am a young mother of two small boys, I can understand your pain as a mother losing your son. No matter how they behave, we are still their mothers. I pray that you will find peace and meaning in your sorrow.

[Another Mom]

Ms. Mizell, please know that we have heard your story we have shed tears for you and we do indeed know that your son mattered not only to you but to the three lives he saved thanks to your unselfishness in donating his organs.

You say you are not sure you want to go on living and that you want to go to hell to meet with his killer. I beg you to reconsider this and take what you've learned and the pain you've felt and tell other children and whoever will listen your story.

If you get through to ONE person it will be yet another life he saved. God has a purpose for everyone and everything perhaps this is yours.

[Cassata]

I am praying for you and your family.

[reader]

I just wanted to say that I am so touched by your choice to donate your son's organs. Even though you are still in pain, you reached out and saved three other mothers from losing a loved child as well. That was an act of tremendous grace and courage.

[Vanessa]

Sister Mizell,

Please stay steadfast in the Lord as you continue your journey. Your place is not in hell, nor do you have to succumb to death to vindicate your son's death. Remember, that the battle is not yours and the victory is already won in Christ.

We may not always understand, but some things are not met for us to understand. It will all be revealed in time, not our time, but His.

There are many who will offer meaningless comments as to why a person should not be afforded empathy and there are many others who will exhibit complacenecy and malice toward a lifestyle, a situation, a people, a community. Do not succumb to any comments that discount D'Angello's life.

He was placed on this earth for a reason. He was called away for a reason.

Take comfort in that and accept the peace that awaits you. Begin to heal. Do not dwell on the circumstances surrounding your son's death, but take comfort knowing that he is no longer fighting the battles that led to his death.

We are all on this journey of life. We all have to make choices. We all must find our identity. What sustained you during his life, in the midst of the choices D'Angello made, will sustain you during the transition of his death. Continue to unplug the phone if you have to do so, but know that it is okay to pick it up and speak as you have done by opening yourself to the public in speaking of your son, D'Angello.

What a selfless decision you made in the midst of your grief to sustain his life so that others may have the gift of life. Draw near to that decision and if need be, draw near to those who were afforded the opportunity to live; but draw nearer to Him.

D'Angello matters and he is not forgotten.

[Tom Hollembaekt]

Ms. Mizell,
I pray our Lord will soothe your broken heart and restore to you a life of happiness and peace. No mother should bury their son, no matter what circumstances or decisions that child makes.

As a white man, I am appalled that everyday senseless murders and violence occurs throughout Southern California. I firmly believe that this violence stems from the lack of opportunity in so many of the impoverished areas of LA County. When the powers that be (i.e. the white men who are supposed to be governing) finally realize that with few possibilities in life, humans will turn to base survival tactics that include violence, theft and murder. Why would a 10 year old child go to school and commit to bettering themselves through education, when they see thugs making huge amounts of money selling drugs? Why would that same 10 year old turn away from drugs, when his or hers life is miserable and without the possibility of success in the way we call the "American Dream"?

Ms. Mizell I apologize to you and all of the Mothers who have lost children to senseless violence. Please know that God will be there for you, when you need Him the most. Also know that you will be in my daily prayers.

I beg you not to give up on life!

[cheryl]

i too know your pain my son was murdered on 10-2-06 on vernon and western i feel every bit of your pain and your rage it is eating me up i just dont have the will to go get help now it hurts so much you stay strong and keep thinking of all the good things about your son, my baby was 18 three days before his 19th birthday it has been so crazy in my mind but i have to push myself for my other kids peace to you and your family,

[jayla]

To this mother, I give you my sincere condolences. For a mother to outlive her child is so sad. It sounds like he was your everything and without him you are lost. We put all our efforts into our child hoping for their success and happiness. When things go wrong, it ripps our hearts out. I believe he is sorry for all the pain he caused you. I believe he loves you very much. I believe you will see him again. I also believe in a just God. So no matter what happens, we know that the very best thing will happen in the end. Find comfort in that. Ultimately we will be happy that God is just. Your son had his life to live, now live yours. I have to say this also that the only person qualified to judge your son is God himself and he is full of grace and mercy. Stay close to the Lord and he will give you comfort. You don't have to worry about your son every night anymore. It's in the Lords hands now. Ultimately, He is the parent. We just have them on loan. Now just take care of yourself! Find comfort that you will see your son again someday.

These babies come to us so perfect. We cuddle and kiss their foreheads, inspect their little toes and marvel at their little fingernails. We nurish and care for them every moment. We can't wait for their first word then first step. There were beautiful moments no doubt. Cherish them, but now find peace and move on. Take care of yourself!

[jayla]

You need a hug!

[Jessica]

Great Comment Tom H. Thank you.

and to Mrs. Mizell, May God bless you and pour his neverending love into your life. Stay strong and keep the faith.

[ed]

MS. MIZELL: I AM SO SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS AND THE PAIN YOU FEEL. YOU HAVE GIVEN LIFE AND BREATH TO YOUR SON AND THEN, AS HE LAY DYING YOU GAVE LIFE AGAIN NOT ONCE BUT THREE TIMES. LIFE IS FOR LIVING, AND YOU HAVE GIVEN SO MUCH I PRAY FOR YOUR SOUL AND THAT YOUR GRIEF AND PAIN BE HEALED THROUGH THE POWERS OF THE LORD, GIVE MS.MIZELL TIME AND LIGHT. DO NOT GIVE UP, YOU ARE WOUNDED-- WOUNDS HEAL, let it heal,YOU ARE A LIGHT SHINING FOR SO MANY ON THIS EARTH FROM HALFWAY ACROSS THE WORLD I PRAY FOR YOU.ED

[Ms. Mizell]

Ms. Mizell your situation has touched my heart very deeply. I hope and pray that you find the strength just minute by minute and day by day. I pray that God step in right now and comfort your pain. I use to gang-bang from 11 years old until I was 23. I'm not proud of the activity and the pain that I've caused mothers like yourself but I would like to apologize to you and all the other mothers for my ignorance, even my own mom. I think that you should continue to tell the world about your son because it reminds me of how I have to keep trying to do something to help the problem and not just disappear like I never was involved in the deterioration of our community. I feel that we as Black Men need to step up and really help raise the children and not expect our women to do our part. May God bless you Ms. Mizell, you will stay in my heart and in my prayers. Evan

[Joe DaRocha]

Alfie, this is Joe. I've been trying to find you. I was shocked to read about Angello. I'm listed in the white pages of Guerneville, California. Please call me.