We spotted the Roman Santa Christmas ornament, right, on the Gump's website for $35. It's just one of several new mouth-blown and hand-painted-in-Poland designs in which the North Pole native is depicted as a globe-trotting time traveler.
The series includes Santa in black leather astride a chopper, disembarking a San Francisco trolley car, drinking cafe au lait by the Eiffel Tower and having a highland fling playing the bagpipes in a tartan kilt and tam.
In the often nutty world of Christopher Radko and Thomas Kinkade holiday baubles, however, Kris Kringle re-imagined as Ben-Hur takes the fruitcake.
Not to mention -- though I must -- the fact that in this 7-inch tall ornament he towers over his chariot, which is taller than the two-story Colosseum that just about reaches the hem of the seasonally inappropriate Claus tunic.
Southern Californians, take heart: The closest thing you'll find to a locally inspired Santa Christmas ornament is Santa manning a barbecue.
Poor jolly old St. Nick.
-- David A. Keeps