The teenage baby-sitter, replaced by older pros

Meet Maile Yoshida, the baby-sitter of the modern parent's dreams. She's a cute and chirpy 28-year-old with a degree in communication from USC and more than a decade of child-care experience, including baby-sitting infants as well as children with special needs and behavior issues. She has 18 five-star reviews on SitterCity.com, and when meeting prospective families she comes armed with a packet of references, proof of her recent flu and Tdap shots, and her driver's license number.

Of course, you'll have to pay: Yoshida charges $20 to $30 an hour based on the number of kids, their ages and how much driving is involved, among other factors. She said her price is non-negotiable.

Yoshida calls herself a "career nanny" and explains that baby-sitting isn't just a way to make money on the side while she figures out what to do with her life. Baby-sitting is what she is doing with her life.

"This is my means of income," she said. "This is what I do for my career."

Despite the cost, some parents are turning to career nannies such as Yoshida, who come with references and experience, rather than the 15-year-old down the street, even if the need is for just a few hours on a weekend night.

The reasons for this shift away from teenage baby-sitters are varied. Some parents worry that high school students are too focused on their mobile phones -- texting and checking Facebook -- to be responsible for watching a child. Other parents said the supply of teenage baby-sitters has dwindled as college admission has become more competitive and students have gotten busier with extracurricular activities. Still others said teenagers get money from their parents, don't need a job and would rather attend to the demands of their social lives.

At the same time, the poor economy has flooded the baby-sitting market with well-educated people who might be employed elsewhere in better times. Add to that the swirl of anxiety permeating parenting these days, and moms and dads of a certain means facing the question: If something bad were to happen, would you rather have a teenager in your home or a responsible, driving adult?

Lisa Ling house: Modern lines, family circles

For 15 years, television journalist Lisa Ling was a nomad. She worked out of New York, Chicago, Miami and Washington, D.C., reporting stories from Colombia, North Korea, Uganda and Russia. "I forgot what 'home' meant," Ling says. "For me, it was United Airlines Seat 4B." After Ling married radiation oncologist Paul Song, the couple settled in Santa Monica with plans to start a family and build a house with room to grow, space for entertaining and a distinctly modern design. Marco DiMaccio of Punchouse Ecodesign Group delivered all that and more, putting the finishing touches this fall on a concrete, wood and glass prism that reflects his clients' heritages and showcases their budding art collection.

“Lisa and Paul are comfortable with who they are, and I certainly wasn't blind to their heritage,” DiMaccio says. As a result, the house contains features that reflect its owners in fresh and quirky ways. As he puts it: “I like to surprise people and make them smile.”

Take the hard-to-miss lamp out front. Scaled in proportion to the two-story facade and illuminated to glow at night like a giant paper lantern, the light is fashioned from 2,000 translucent plastic Chinese takeout containers. “It took me, my girlfriend, Lisa and Paul four days to glue them together,” DiMaccio says.

PHOTO GALLERY: Lisa Ling-Paul Song house

Another frontyard attention-getter is the 5 1/2-foot-deep sunken conversation area with steps covered in artificial turf. Hidden from passersby behind a wall, it's proved to be a favorite with young and old alike. “The pit is amazing,” Ling says. “Kids stop crying when we put them inside, and on Sundays, Paul and I read the paper there with a cup of coffee.”

Ling, best known for her stint on “The View” and currently host of “Our America With Lisa Ling” on OWN, is Chinese. Song is Korean. DiMaccio kept their ethnicity in mind throughout the design process, and nowhere is it more evident than at the entrance.

The 9-foot-wide foam-filled wood front door is finished by hand like a surfboard in high-gloss red, a color associated with good luck in China. Next to it is a pond that flows indoors and contains a Plexiglas grate cut in the shape of the Chinese characters for “double happiness.”

Caring for an elderly parent when you're an only child

My friend Martha danced down the yellow brick road of childhood by herself, happy to be the only child of doting parents. She felt no need for brothers or sisters. But when her dad died and her mother developed Alzheimer’s, Martha suddenly felt alone. She lived 2,000 miles away, had a demanding job and desperately needed someone to share the burden, she told me one day as we compared notes about caring for our parents.

My friend had run head-on into one of the major problems that confront children who have no siblings. One is the loneliest number when faced with being the sole caregiver.

Studies indicate that the responsibility of providing care is one of the major fears of an only child. A 2001 survey found it is consistently perceived as a serious challenge, with respondents also noting feelings of anxiety about being the sole survivor in a family after parents die.

With the recession taking its toll on fertility rates and single-child families increasing in number, the problem is growing in scope. In the United States, and in most industrialized Western European countries, families with one child are the fastest-growing type of household. According to the National Center for Health Statistics, single-child families have almost doubled in number to about 1 in 5 in the U.S.

The stereotype of the lonely only child, selfish, spoiled, maladjusted, has begun to fade, thanks in part to recent studies that show only children are as well-adjusted and in many cases more intelligent than those of us with siblings. But being alone when medical, financial and care-giving decisions must be made for parents can throw anyone off balance.

Los Angeles County resident Cynthia Rawls, 56, moved home four years ago to take care of her mom, Ruby, 90, who was showing signs of dementia.

“Our home was always so neat and tidy,” Rawls said, remembering her childhood. “But then my mother began hoarding. She tried to hide her condition for a long time, but she couldn’t anymore. The last four years she’s been on a slippery slope.”

Rawls never enjoyed being an only child. “I was very lonely,” she said. But that feeling was nothing compared with the isolation she felt when she began to care for her mom. “It was overwhelming,” she said.

For home-school parents, classroom design is the subject du jour

Every weekday morning, 8-year-old Trevor Barrios puts on his uniform, takes his backpack and lunch box and sets off for school: the 900-square-foot converted guesthouse of his family's Ladera Ranch home. There, under the watchful eye of a tutor, Trevor settles down to three hours of math, science, history and language arts.

Trevor's mother, Dru Barrios (pictured standing, above) consulted with an education expert who said her son — whose attention deficit hyperactivity disorder is partly why the family chose home schooling — would thrive in a space dedicated to learning. So in what used to be the guesthouse, a large portion of one wall is painted with white dry-erase paint, so it works as a gigantic wipe board, above. The space has a U-shaped teacher's desk, right, plus shelves stacked with books and a 60-inch television for screening educational DVDs. The cost of the conversion: about $2,000.

“We tried to make it fun and bright with lots of colors,” said Barrios, who added that sometimes Trevor is joined by other kids for his classes. A pool and grassy area in the back allow for swimming, soccer and basketball as part of his P.E. program.

As school funding difficulties drive more parents to consider alternatives to public education, those who venture down the home-schooling path quickly face decisions rooted in design: What should “school” look like? What physical form should the classroom take? Or should there be a classroom in the conventional sense at all?

Small Schindler house in Inglewood remodeled for a new era

Architect Steven Ehrlich is sitting in the front garden of a 1940 Rudolph M. Schindler home in Inglewood that he recently restored for daughter Onna Ehrlich-Bell and her family. Forty-foot-tall liquidambars line the street of mostly post-World War II houses. It's a real Ozzie and Harriet neighborhood, traditional to its core except for this low-slung piece of modern design. For two years, this is where Ehrlich spent much of his time — “channeling Schindler,” he says with a chuckle.

As Ehrlich tells the story, it was serendipity that he came upon the home by the renowned midcentury architect whose iconic Kings Road House in West Hollywood is often considered the big bang of California Midcentury Modernism. Ehrlich and his wife, Nancy Griffin, had been invited to dinner by friends Kali Nikitas and Richard Shelton.

"I'd never been to their home before," Ehrlich says, "but as soon as I walked through the door, I asked, 'Is this a Schindler?' "

PHOTO GALLERY: Side-by-side Schindler houses in Inglewood

It was. And so was the house next door, and, incredibly, another down the street. As fate would have it, the Schindler next door was the subject of a probate sale the next day. “He built three houses on the same street in 1940 for a developer on spec, which was very unusual for him,” says Kimberli Meyer, director of the MAK Center for Art and Architecture at the Kings Road House, where Schindler explored the relationship of space, light and form, as well as communal living.

Ehrlich toured the Inglewood probate house the following day, then put in the winning bid: $265,000.

Garbage Maven: recycling old clothes

It's one of the untidy truths of parenting that kids destroy their clothes. My 8-year-old son is particularly adept at ripping the knees out of his blue jeans and spilling Powerade down the fronts of graphic tees that were, invariably, brand new or blistering white.

So much for hand-me-downs.

Ripped, broken, stained or otherwise unwearable clothes, as well as frayed towels and torn bed linens, are a conundrum for anyone trying to reduce waste and recycle more. Textiles are one of the items that Los Angeles residents most commonly toss — by mistake — into their blue bins, according to the city's Bureau of Sanitation. These items cannot be recycled in the curbside program.

Throughout the U.S., almost 13 million tons of textile waste are generated annually, according to the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency. Of that, just 15% is recovered for reuse or recycling.

Until recently, I was guilty of throwing more than a few pairs of torn socks and outgrown underwear in the trash. Contrary to conventional wisdom, I now divert them to my local Goodwill, which I seem to visit more and more often as my son gets older. Try as I may to end his propensity for tearing holes in pants or for using shoes as a skateboard brake, I'm generating almost one small grocery bag of clothing waste every month. According to the EPA, Americans throw away an average of 10 pounds of clothes each year.

Officially, Goodwill accepts only clothing donations that are “used” or “gently used.” It operates its resale shops with a Do's and Don'ts donation policy. Washed or dry-cleaned clothes are a Do. Broken or soiled items are a Don't. Yet in my experience, Goodwill has accepted broken and soiled items, even when I alert the staff upon drop-off.

That got me curious: What's happening to this stuff, really, after I wheeled out of the parking lot?

Alzheimer's aggression: When disease triggers angry behavior

As I sped along the 10 Freeway toward a rapidly setting sun, an explosive grinding noise erupted to my right. My car swerved wildly, sliding across two lanes toward the center divider. I grappled with the steering wheel trying to regain control and glanced quickly toward my dad, sitting next to me. In the fading light, I could see what had caused the problem: He had grabbed the gearshift and jerked the car into neutral.

“Let go!” I screamed. For a moment, we tussled over the stick, then I pulled it from him, jamming the car back into gear. “You can't do that while I'm driving,” I yelled. I took a deep breath, trying to calm down, and turned on the dome light. “It's me, your daughter Rosemary,” I said quietly.

He looked at me and blinked, suddenly aware of what he had done. “I didn't know it was you,” he said.

My dad, 91, had zoned out. The incident was a result of dementia, a disease that had left him con-
fused and suffering from a dual personality.

Ninety percent of the time, he was the same wonderful man who had taught me how to ride a bike, dance a waltz and drive a car. He was friendly, compassionate, polite, understanding. The other 10% of the time, his behavior was irrational and sometimes aggressive.

Experts say it's unclear why aggressive or violent behavior sometimes develops among people with Alzheimer's and other forms of dementia. My near-accident in the car seems to be a relatively common phenomenon.

Joel Dovev on the decorating horrors of Mom and Dad

For those who grew up in the pre-HGTV era, comedian Joel Dovev's “Crap at My Parents' House” might trigger a familiar cringe. The book (Abrams Image: $14.95) is filled with 190 photos drawn from Dovev's blog of the same name, where similarly affected children from around the world contributed snapshots of unusual, inappropriate and just plain weird knickknacks masquerading as decoration in their parents' homes.

Creepy dolls, nightmare-inducing clown figurines and religious icons deployed in a non-spiritual context (think Jesus-playing-soccer statue) are all represented here, along with those improbable yet hard-to-resist contraptions such as the radio toilet paper holder (with crossword puzzles imprinted on the paper).

Dovev, a stand-up comedian from Brooklyn, came up with the idea after contemplating his mother’s mantel, adorned with a menorah, a dreidel and a shofar displayed next to a replica pirate ship.

“My theory is," Dovev said, "if you keep it, then it has a purpose.”

Pro Portfolio: From barren yard to outdoor screening room

Every Monday we post a recently built, remodeled or redecorated home with commentary from the designer. This week we look at a front yard that was transformed into an outdoor living room for a family.

Project: Remodel of a 2,240 square-foot yard.

Location: Culver City.

Landscape architect: Mark Tessier Landscape Architecture. General contractor: Sam Hernandez, Paradise General Contractors, (626) 358-9666.

Landscape architect's description: This garden was created for Brian Ten of Carde Ten Architects,  his wife, Rika Houston, and their three children. They had a small front yard, shown before the makeover at right, that they never used because it was empty and open.

The intent was to make the new garden the centerpiece for the family. They wanted an outdoor living room where they could spend time  year round and a space that could be used for a variety of purposes. Eventually it became not only the focal point for their household, but also a hangout for other families in the neighborhood. It's a place for movie nights, a homework space and a spot for meetings and fundraisers.

A fountain starts by the sidewalk, slices through the wood fence and continues as a long channel in the new garden. The spill of water creates a soothing sound. The kids love to play in the water, and at night it is accentuated with dramatic lighting. Around one corner is a secluded secret garden, a quiet space with aquatic plants and serene bubbling water.

Comfortable couches and colorful pillows give the three kids -- 16,14 and  7 -- a place to do their homework and work on art projects. During summer, a canvas goes up on the garage wall, heat lamps are put in place, the glass fire pit is lighted and the neighborhood film festival begins. 

The plant palette is easy to maintain and is composed of natives, herbs, citrus, and medicinal and edible plants around the outdoor dining area. A small cistern stores some water. The native plants bring a joyful array of hummingbirds, butterflies and bees into the garden.

To see more, keep reading ...

How to keep mom's caregiver happy? A Paris trip helps

Choosing a caregiver for an elderly parent is hard, but sometimes monitoring and maintaining a good relationship with that caregiver is even harder. In the latest installment of "It's All Relative," Rosemary McClure's column on caring for and staying connected with an aging parent, she writes:

Megan Cowles’ friends envy her good luck. “Everyone wants my job,” she says. This summer, her employer is taking her to Paris, where she’ll see the Eiffel Tower, stroll along the Seine and eat buttery, melt-in-your-mouth croissants for breakfast.

Her wonder job? She’s a home-care worker. Her employer, a 76-year-old Orange County woman, is so grateful for her help that she’s taking her to Paris on a vacation.

Alas, not everyone can be so generous. But McClure does offer some other ways to keep everyone -- caregiver, parents and you -- happy. It's the second of two columns on the subject.

Part 1: How to choose a caregiver

Part 2: How to maintain a good working relationship

-- Craig Nakano

Illustration credit: Blair Thornley / For The Times

RELATED:

It's All Relative: the series