Parenting: When is it OK to let kids quit sports?

There is no crying in football, the saying goes. Not unless you are the parent of a child who wants to quit the team anyway. In that case, there is a lot of crying involved (usually by the frustrated parents).

Most people with a child in youth sports can tell you something about quitting. My dilemma began the way many parent-child negotiations do: with begging. When my 7-year-old son pleaded to play tackle football last year, I did not resist because I was worried about broken bones and concussions. I resisted because as a single mother of two, I knew the nightly practices would kill me, not him.

Contrary to my good sense, however, I enrolled him and watched as the pint-sized players donned their pads -- occasionally their cups -- to practice five nights a week like grown men.

Then, after 13 weeks of screaming and berating by one of the coaches -- and a nearly perfect record I should point out -- my son did what his gut told him to do: He quit. “It’s not fun,” he said wearily.

How does a parent know when it’s time to quit and when it’s time to insist that children stick to what they start? I asked experts for advice. Read my First-Person Parent article and chime in with your comments.

-- Lisa Boone

Photo: It's difficult for parents to know when to let kids walk away from youth sports such as soccer. Credit: Luis Sinco / Los Angeles Times 

Comments

[Mike B.]

For crying out loud, let him quit! He's 7, it's not a career!

[Brooke de Lench]

Anytime a child is being abused physically, sexually or emotionally (bullied, harassed, even lack of playing time) they should quit. I write extensively about how to identify abuse in youth sports and talk to groups about quitting. If all else fails after a child and parents talk to the coach and nothing is resolved-- quitting is an option and sends a strong message to the coach.

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Brooke de Lench Founder:
MomsTeam.com: The Trusted Source For Youth Sports Parents

Author:
Home Team Advantage: The Critical Role of Mothers in Youth Sports(HarperCollins)

[Sandy G]

It's an interesting debate and I think it depends on the child, but a discussion should be had prior to beginning the season. A commitment is being made to this sport and they must make every effort to see it through. That said, I do try to make it as fun as possible for my kids by packing nutritious snacks like fruit or as a special treat I get them WooHoo Foods. I'm trying to get these into local stores, but right now I order them online. Anything fun and healthy to give the kids a little enticement to go to practice. As long as the kids are exercising regularly - that's the main goal!

[Merrie Lynn Ross]

Sad, as it may seem, many of us make going the distance an axiom. When I saw our Senior High Class President and Captain of the football team, die of a concussion during practice, taking off his helmet for the last two minutes...a whole new perspective shifted in my head.
Go with your kid's intuition, as well as with your own. You are the parent. Do what's right. At least do your best, no regrets later on. Blessings to all Mom & Dads and the kids who have to put up with us.
www.merrieway.com