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Valspar, the heterosexual paint

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This article was originally on a blog post platform and may be missing photos, graphics or links. See About archive blog posts.

Ill-conceived marketing campaigns cross the desk every week, but rarely are they so carefully crafted as this. The press release opens: ‘With 2.2 million couples marrying every year, someone is sure to disagree on style for the home! Valspar Paint would like to help those couples who are having trouble combining their styles. Today Valspar launched ‘Love, Our Style,’ a new website specifically designed for newlyweds and couples seeking help on how to merge individual styles for their home. The site combines a style quiz, contest and first-timers paint guide.’

Fine, whatever. Normally I’d just move on. But my partner and I recently completed negotiations on a new kitchen color, and with the fresh Valspar paint dry and the resulting battle scars healing nicely, I was curious what kind of advice the company could possibly offer to couples other than to keep first aid within easy reach. I clicked to the Love, Our Style site and was surprised enough by what I saw to reel off an e-mail to Valspar. Keep reading to see my complaint as well as the response I got from a Valspar this morning.

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In an era in which companies such as Macy’s, Crate & Barrel and Target know that a gift registry very well could be for Craig and Todd, not Craig and Maude, it’s odd to encounter a website that sees couples only through his-and-hers eyes. I thought the Valspar language might have been a simple oversight, so acting as a customer and using my personal e-mail address, I reeled off this comment on the Valspar website (and, yes, I do regret the snottiness of the Behr comment):

Your new ‘Love, Our Style’ promotional website (http://valspar-loveourstyle.com/) is surprisingly offensive. In this day and age, why would any company make the assumption that a ‘couple’ must mean a man and woman? Take the quiz on your website and you will find out that your world is a his-and-hers world. I’m not outraged -- just surprised that the paint company I love could be so dense. Next time, I guess I’ll try Behr.

Craig Nakano Legal husband of Todd Henneman Los Angeles, CA

Not my best work, I admit it. But come on: Is there no way to free this exercise from its 1950s mind-set? Am I really supposed to make Todd my mife (that’s man-wife, which, now that I see the word, is actually kind of funny).

I sent the note never expecting to blog about it. I just imagined it would disappear into the black hole of customer service. Much to my amazement, the response that landed in my e-mailbox the following morning from the company’s interactive marketing manager implied that the website language was no accident:

Thank you for your e-mail and interest in Valspar. I’m sorry that you were offended by the images used and that we chose to use the standards of ‘his’ and ‘hers’ on our website. If you and your husband are interested in combining styles in a new home, I hope you are willing to try the quiz, as the same principles apply to any two people making a home together, whatever gender and whatever legal status of the relationship. In any case, I’m glad you shared your opinion with me about the site.

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I give the response credit for being prompt, but that’s about it. I played along, made Todd be ‘her’ and got Valspar’s recommendations. For the record, my mife and I should aim for a ‘relaxed’ color palette. We like the simple yet functional, the website told me, and we ‘find inspiration in nature, with warm neutrals.’ We painted our kitchen Beach House, but our recommended colors are actually Caraway Seed, Sweet Mint, Tender Shell, Baked Stone and Breezy.

Shoot. I guess we’re repainting again.

-- Craig Nakano

Updated: Almost a year later, the comments from haters keep coming in. (Ah, the love affair never dies!) Please read my follow-up post, ‘Valspar Shows Some Love.’ Then you can leave your rants on both posts instead of just this one! Only happy when I’m helping ...

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