How to follow 'Dark Knight'? Angelina Jolie as the purrfect Catwoman

An open letter to Christopher Nolan:

Dear Chris,

Congratulations on the avalanche of rave reviews for "The Dark Knight" as well as this staggering box-office success that's unfolding right now. It is, in my opinion, the best comic-book movie ever, and I'm genuinely happy for you and your team. Now, though, you have a big problem: What can you possibly do for an encore?

Warner Bros wants to keep this gravy train running, especially since the "Harry Potter" is moving toward a franchise expiration date and the fact that Bryan Singer's Superman reboot fizzled. But where should you start? That's easy: Call your best wardrobe designers and have them start envisioning Angelina Jolie in Catwoman's black-leather body suit. (What about the recent birth of her twins, you say? No problem. I'm guessing that new-mom Jolie will be back in lean, cat-suit shape by, oh, next week or so.)

I'm not sure anyone can actually top Heath Ledger's performance as the Joker (and you don't dare bring any other actor in portray the Joker) but it would be catnip to fanboys everywhere if Jolie was lured to your Gotham to be Catwoman opposite Christian Bale's Batman. And frankly, you have some serious limitations on where you else to turn for your next Bat-baddie.

When I visited with you a few weeks ago at the Warner lot in Burbank you told me that the franchise was best served by villians without supernatural or wild science-fiction origins. That eliminates Man-Bat, Mr. Freeze, Bane,Killer Croc and Clayface, as well as Poison Ivy's large-scale, killer-shrub tricks. Maybe you could turn to Hugo Strange and his monster men; they have some science-fiction elements, certainly, but the lurching, feral monster men wouldn't require the big CGI scenes that you're trying to avoid in your taut crime films. And, as one of the very first Batman villains (Detective Comics No. 36, way back in 1940, pre-dating the Joker), Strange would dovetail nicely with your push to take the hero back to the unsettling spook-show qualities of his earliest incarnations. If you do go Strange, how about handing the lab coat and spectacles to Ben Kingsley, who showed in "Sexy Beast" that he can match anyone's glower?

What other villains? I know we won't be seeing an flame-throwing umbrella: You mentioned when I saw you that the Penguin is "not very interesting" to you and the sour look on your face summed up your disdain for the waddling Oswald Cobblepot. I guess you could go with the Riddler (maybe Eddie Izzard, who has untapped menace beneath his eye-liner?) if you jettisoned the lime question-mark suit.

The best option seems to be Catwoman and the best Catwoman seems to be Jolie. I'm guessing we won't be seeing the Rachel Dawes character in the next film (ahem) so it's time to get Bruce Wayne a new most "Wanted" woman. Hey, maybe you've already got the litterbox ready: I caught that quick line in "Dark Knight" about the danger that cat-claws pose to the crevices in Batman's body armor. Nice. Here's hoping she and her lover-foe Batman end up fighting their way out of Arkham Asylum together or some such fight-and-flirt scenario.

Thanks for listening and, again, congrats on "The Dark Knight." One last thing: If for some reason Halle Berry's agent starts clogging up your voicemail with messages, don't bother returning the calls. Just trust me on that one.

Sincerely,

-- Geoff Boucher

Photo by Martin Schoeller, from Los Angeles Times archives

Comments

[Ted]

wow i couldn't even think of a worse idea than jolie as catwoman.

[Joe]

Terrible idea.....Catwoman has too much baggage from her previous incarnations. Also Angelina Jolie cannot act and Nolan fules his films with excellent actors.

[Dan]

Wow, what a horrible idea this is.

[Jon]

Jolie is not the solution to everything. Better to pick someone fresh.

[ucrazyman]

Catwoman?!? What a way to ruin a perfectly good series. I haven't seen it, but I thought two-face was being set up for the next movie? Anyway catwoman is the worst idea ever...lol

[vigo]

agree,with christian bale and angelina jolie the movie would be great.

[manda]

I highly doubt Chris Nolan would think right now about a possible catwoman. And if he was, I'm sorry but Angelina Jolie would not make a good catwoman at all.

[Gideon]

The thing about superhero movies is they have to escalate. Much bigger booms and more on the line in Dark Knight than in Batman begins... the story, etc was also much bigger. So we're going to go from Joker and Two-Face to Catwoman and.... uh... burglary?

Nolan has a lot of points after this last one, but I would hope he could keep up the current momentum if not getting bigger (and I really don't believe you need to get bigger, but you can't go down unless the story is going to be more psychologically complex which I just don't see with Catwoman.)

I could totally see him doing a Mr. Freeze... it's true that he's a bit sci-fi but he also has one of the best back stories of any Batman character and can be dealt with maturely.

[Kenan M]

yes jolie would be good choice ....... but we have other option as well
CATWOMAN:
1. Kate Beckinsale
2. Milla Jovovich
3. Carrie-Anne Moss
4. Famke Janssen
5. MEGAN FOX
6. Anna Paquin

[Phillip evans]

Why not another actor to play the Joker? Somebody will play the part again one day, why not in the next movie. You can put that makeup on someone else and it would be a closer match than the Rachel Dawes character ever was. The jokers in Arkham now, let him meet Harley Quinn, and bust him out, love changes a man.

[Christian]

"I'm not sure anyone can actually top Heath Ledger's performance as the Joker (and you don't dare bring any other actor in portray the Joker)"

Seriously? We don't think any other actor can do the same job that Ledger did? I think he did a wonderful job - but isn't that why it's called acting? To say someone can't perform the same way is just insane. Don't make the part off limits just because your placeholder who you deem is only worthy of it is gone.

[sean]

Please dear God, do not put Jolie anywhere near Batman. Like every Jolie movie, she will ruin it and it will crash and burn. When was the last good Jolie movie?

[Carry]

I would vote for Jessica Alba as Catwoman versus Angelina Jolie.

[Liz]

Yes on Catwoman, boo on Jolie. I couldn't think of a worst casting choice - besides Katie Holmes (and they've been there, done that). I wouldn't mind seeing Scarlett Johansson in the role, though she's far from looking hispanic. Maybe Rosario Dawsom? ANYONE, really, but Jolie.

[Apollo!]

What about Harley Quinn? She definitely needs to be int he third film as well. But that woudl probably mean Joker would have to be there as well.

[Christian]

It's exactly this kind of limited thinking that keeps the entertainment industry down. Angelina Jolie is nothing but hype, bereaved of talent. It's hype that makes men think she's attractive, but she's not. It's hype that makes men think her breasts are large, but they're not. (And should Christian Bale paste her one in that turgid kisser, who wants to see bovine collagen all over Batman's gauntlet?) Small-minded, suggestible, and hormonally distended men are unable to separate the undeserved glamour with which the media imbue her from what they're observing on the screen to expose a profoundly expressionless, uninspired, almost begrudging performer. The simplest test is to study her performance in 'Kung-Fu Panda': without the benefit of looking at what the gossip tabloids have programmed you into believing "attractive," the viewer is confronted with the inundating woodenness of Jolie's drone despite Pixar's dazzling best efforts. A Batman sequel featuring the most popular girl in school will mark the steady decline into banality. Geoff, love your jizz rag though you may, but do not confuse it with quality and keep it off the silver screen.

[Myron]

No. Absolutely not. What ruined the first Batman franchise is that it became a haven for A-listers to show they could be superheroes, and for the studio to just cast the biggest names they could. It became a game of "Who can get a spot in the latest 'Batman' movie?" And the storyline suffered. Jolie would be a distraction from whatever Christopher Nolan wants to do.

Movie franchises suffer when their handlers begin to view them strictly in terms of the "gravy train" and nothing else.

I do agree with you Geoff, that Batman is the best comic book adaptation ever, which is why I'm surprised you would want to lower it a notch (or several) with an overexposed star in a rather tired role.

[Scott]

Rhona Mitra would be an excellent Catwoman. Need someone relatively unknown

[Andrew]

Halle Berry killed Catwoman...please just leave her to rot. There are so many better (realistic as Nolan likes them) Batman villains out there...Riddler, Clock King, Bane. Jolie would ruin a batman film...leave her out!

[mark]

Love Jolie but think Jessica Alba would do better !!

[Beth]

How bout Jim Carrey as the Riddler?
or someone else i know suggest Robert DeNiro

[Kitty Kat]

Hymm...such narrow minds and very ageist. How about Cher? Great actress, great bod and it would be alot more interestingi to see an older hot catwoman after the much younger Batman. Let the mind games begin...Meow!

[Ryan]

How about Cate Blanchett as Catwoman? Duh...

[MJA]

That's a horrible idea. Nolan needs to focus on recruiting an actor to play "Robin" and needs to bring back the classic Batmobile. Those should be his priorities. Also, he might as well find a new actor for the Joker. With the makeup, outfit and special effects, they might be able to recreate Heath Ledger's memorable performance.

[cashaw]

I say give Hallie Berry another try with a good, or Jessica Alba. The role of Dark Angel has pretty much trained Alba to be catwoman.