Category: Yeah, No

PREACH IT! Hey, thanks, Kristen Stewart! Stay classy!

Kristen Stewart signing autographs

Here’s a quote for you. We’ll give you three guesses who said it.

"What you don't see are the cameras shoved in my face and the bizarre intrusive questions being asked, or the people falling over themselves, screaming and taunting to get a reaction. The photos are so ... I feel like I'm looking at someone being raped.”

Why, yes! It is Kristen Stewart! What gave it away?

That’s not a rhetorical question, either. It’s a poll. Seriously, what gave it away? 

--Leslie Gornstein

Photo: Kristen Stewart dealing with the torture at the premiere of "The Runaways." Credit: Alberto E. Rodriguez / Getty Images

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PREACH IT! And the Lady Gaga Telephone spoofing trend officially ends ... now

Enough with the “Telephone”. We’ve had the original video, the homage from our boys in Afghanistan, the all-chicken interpretation and a dude who swapped out the communication hardware with tropical fruit.

Lady Gaga All of those were, to be fair, kind of cute. A few were even funny at the time. But now the self-serving famewhore section of the evangelical Christian movement has jumped in. Which means the whole thing has jumped the shark.

The details involve Megan Phelps, of course, granddaughter of Westboro Baptist Church leader Fred. She has rewritten the words and recorded the song as “Ever Burn” -- as in, in hell.

“Stop prayin', stop prayin', God will not hear you anymore, you taught the boys and the girls to be proud whores," Phelps sort-of sings. You can hear the whole God-forsaken mess here.

Phelps, apparently quite fond of the word “whore,” has used it to skewer Gaga before. Behold, her take on Poker Face, but be warned: It’s anything but holy.

We can’t decide which is sadder about Phelps’ ploy: the whole, tired, god-hates-you angle, or the fact that she’s spreading her desperate message through what is, arguably -- nay, officially -- the most shopworn gag of 2010.

--Leslie Gornstein

Photo: Lady Gaga in concert at Carnegie Hall. Credit: Kevin Kane / Getty Images

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Lady Gaga's health regime: no to blow, occasional MDMA

Lady gaga mdmaLady Gaga wants you to know that she's totally fine health-wise, except the occasional hit of MDMA, the odd cigarette in the studio and, naturally, whiskey. 

In an interview with the UK's Times Online, the singer addressed the global panic she caused fans with rumors of exhaustion and an on-stage collapse.

“My schedule is such that I don’t get very much time to eat,” she tells the paper, "but I certainly don't have an eating problem."

Pray tell, Gaga, what do you do to keep up that stamina for the seemingly endless stream of performances, press and recording? 

"... I really don’t do drugs. I don’t touch cocaine any more. I don’t smoke. Well, maybe a single cigarette – with whiskey – while I’m working, because it just frees my mind a little bit," she said.

None of the hard stuff?

“A little MDMA once in a while never killed anybody ..."

We love us some Gaga, but in the spirit of education -- take a look at the long-and-short term effects of MDMA, more commonly referred to as ecstasy. Then, Just Dance

-- Matt Donnelly

Photo: The next single from Lady Gaga's "The Fame Monster" is "Alejandro." Credit: Carolyn Cole / Los Angeles Times

More Gaga where that came from. We're showing you our teeth on Twitter and Facebook, too.

'Glee' gal Lea Michele apologizes to photographer for alleged red carpet diss

Lea michele time rumor mcmullen "Glee" actress Lea Michele has taken to Twitter to clear up some diva drama -- the star addressed a week-old rumor that she was rude to longtime party photographer Patrick McMullan upon arrival at the Time 100 party May 3 in New York.

"Big apology to @PatrickMcMullan," she wrote Monday afternoon. "Totally didn’t expect you (or anyone) @Time 100 to know who I was w/all the amazin people there."

Reports from the party in New York last week said Michele was peeved with McMullan for not recognizing her face, and gave him false names (Sarah Palin and Taylor Swift) when asked how to identify her in photos.

E! Online columnist Ted Casablanca on Monday morning published an interview with McMullen, who gave his take on meeting Michele.

"Everything that's in that story is true, Lea giving me the fake names," McMullan said, clarifying that rather than cussing out the actress as was rumored, he'd said, "Forget about it."

Michele came in with a second tweet Monday saying she "made a silly joke that didn’t go over, so sorry. It was such an incredible night and I was beyond honored and thrilled to be there."

McMullan also told E! that if (and inevitably when) he runs into the star again, he'd say, "Hey, I owe you a [cussing out]."

Given her tweets, maybe he'll reconsider -- and you never know, the "Glee" kids might need a house photographer for regionals.

-- Matt Donnelly

Photo: Lea Michele on the Time 100 red carpet in New York on May 3, 2010. Credit: Evan Agostini / Associated Press.

Get more scoop on 'Glee' from the Ministry, where we're harmonizing daily on Twitter (we're at @LATcelebs) and Facebook.

PREACH IT! Kate Gosselin's 'DWTS' trauma: She does it for the kids

Kate Gosselin Poor Kate Gosselin. She really wishes she didn’t have to be famous, but she must be. The mother of eight has no choice, she insists, but to endure "Dancing With the Stars," and her upcoming reality show, and the absolutely mandatory five-figure makeovers, and the book tours. But not because she craves the attention. No. Make no mistake. Every second she suffers in the spotlight -- in the makeup chair, in a lonely green room filled only with gourmet bottled water and freshly catered food -- is all for the love of the children.

“I don't see another option,” Gosselin told Meredith Vieira in what has become a familiar refrain. “I have eight kids to provide for.”

Sure, at first glance, Kate is dealing with a pretty pricey litter of rug rats. According to one analysis, it could cost her and her ex, Jon, about $300,000 to raise each of their eight children to college age -- roughly $2.4 million total. If each of the kids also attends college, that’s at least another mil. So, Jon and Kate are facing, if the pundits are to be believed, at least $3.4 million in total costs to raise their kids.

But keep on crunching the numbers, and Kate’s Mother Theresa motives start to crumble. These are ...

Continue reading »

PREACH IT! Sigourney Weaver oughtta shut her pie hole! And we wrote that all by ourselves!

Cameron-weaver Sigourney Weaver: She not only fights the forces of anti-rain-forest evil but she can also read minds! Hundreds of them! And all at the same time!

For example: She knows why James Cameron, her director in "Avatar," didn’t take home the best picture trophy this year.

"Jim didn't have breasts, and I think that was the reason," Weaver told Brazilian news site Folha Online over the weekend. "He should have taken home that Oscar."

Which brings us to the introduction of a brand-new category here at the Ministry of Gossip: Yeah, No.

No, honey. Kathryn Bigelow didn’t get the Oscar just because she has boobies, although that likely was a large factor. (Actually, to be fair, we don’t know if it was a large factor; we don’t know Bigelow’s bra size.) No, Cameron didn’t get the Oscar because: (a) he already has one for best picture, and that sort of thing does tend to sway the academy, and (b) more important, he can’t write. At all. Even a little bit.

Continue reading »


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