Lindsay Lohan is just like Marilyn Monroe, Lindsay Lohan says

Because every starlet at some point must compare herself to Marilyn Monroe, we bring you this latest utterance from Lindsay Lohan: “People in their mind have created who I am and act as if there is no real person inside of me. Just like Marilyn. ... Marilyn never wanted to be just a celebrity. Neither do I.

"I don't want to be remembered as someone who just wanted to be photographed, who goes out at night, and gets in trouble."

The statement comes courtesy of "Marilyn: Intimate Exposures," a new book on the late bombshell. Lohan is credited with writing the foreword.

It's always a good time to watch stars compare themselves to other famous people, mainly because the doppelganger is always so totally inappropriate -- such as, say, Hitler. In the case of Lohan putting herself in the same category as one of the most recognized icons on the planet, well, at least she didn't bring up Tokyo Rose.

But is there any merit in her choice of soul sister? Well, yes. And by yes we mean not really. Maybe a little bit. Or, seriously, not.

"Marilyn never wanted to be just a celebrity. Neither do I."

For one thing, of course Marilyn wanted to be a celebrity. One does not get a nose job and a chin implant, correct an overbite on the orders of a producer, sign contracts with major studios, ardently pursue a career in the movies, pose for cheesecake photos on the covers of magazines and wear dresses cut to the navel at the Miss America Parade if one wants to remain under the radar. Lohan, however, may very well have never wanted to be a star; unlike Monroe, she started her career as a child under the thumb of stage mom Dina. Arguably, Lohan had no choice in the matter.

"I don't want to be remembered as someone who just wanted to be photographed, who goes out at night, and gets in trouble."

Lohan might want to take a vacation from the cameras if that's the case. Just a thought. As for Marilyn, she isn't really remembered for any of that. She's remembered for being an underrated, overly sexualized actress who starred in some of the most memorable movies of her time, who struggled with her own inner demons, and who died too young. Of the two stars, only Lohan is known for going out at night and getting into trouble. And that's something she can fix whenever she decides to stay home.

And finally:

“People in their mind have created who I am and act as if there is no real person inside of me.”

Oh, sweetheart, there's a person in there all right. We wouldn't keep writing about you if we weren’t always wondering what that person is thinking. Now we know.

RELATED:

Megan Fox nuking Marilyn Monroe tattoo; calls the ink 'negative'

Lindsay Lohan done with 35-day house arrest; ankle bracelet finally set free

Lindsay Lohan can't afford court-ordered counseling, her attorney argues. Really. [Poll]

-- Leslie Gornstein

Left photo: Lindsay Lohan in 2005. Credit: Michael Buckner / Getty Images

Middle photo: A detail of the "Marilyn Forever" sculpture on Michigan Avenue in Chicago. Credit:

Tannen Maury / European Pressphoto Agency

Right photo: Lohan in February. Credit: Mark Ralston / AFP/Getty Images

Steve Harvey responds to ex-wife Mary Harvey's allegations after judge's OK

Comedian and radio personality Steve Harvey is firing back against his ex-wife Mary Harvey, now that a Texas judge has temporarily lifted a gag order prohibiting him from speaking about the case.

The former Mary Shackelford, Harvey's second wife, took to YouTube last month to bash her ex-husband and give her version of the dissolution of their marriage in a three-video series.

The judge ordered her Monday to take down the videos and stop talking about the case. As of Tuesday, the videos had indeed been taken down from her YouTube account -- but they live on through others'.

Steve Harvey's rep Bobbie Edmonds said that the judge lifted the gag order per the comedian's request so that he could respond to his ex-wife's allegations that he was unfaithful, evicted her, took their son and left her penniless. A March 10 hearing will determine if Mary Harvey can be held in contempt of court for violating the injunction, according to Edmonds' statement.

PREACH IT! Snooki gives back to the community by writing her name

Ever wonder how wayward celebrities pay their debts to society? You know, community service? Do they pick up trash, maybe serve soup in a homeless shelter?

New Yorkers know the answer already, of course. The procedure goes like this: Throw a phone a flunkie, get a plea deal, rock a Day-Glo vest during a stint at a trash truck garage, and then turn it all into a fabu photo shoot for W magazine. Right, Naomi Campbell? Fine. But what about for those stars born without killer legs?

Well, now we know. Poor Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi, who recently got nailed for public drunkenness, must suffer through her community service by — and we are not making this up — signing autographs for three hours.

Per E! Online, Polizzi will do her penance at Seaside Heights Community Center this weekend to sign autographs, charging $10 per signature to benefit animal charity Donations of Love.

Asked how exactly this constitutes punishment, Polizzi’s attorney, Raymond Raya, told E!, "It can be quite painful to sign autographs for three hours."

Sure. Almost as painful as having to pay 10 bucks to get that autograph.

— Leslie Gornstein

Photo: Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi at the Hampton Chic launch party Sept. 27 in Marina del Rey. Credit: Toby Canham/Getty Images.

 

PREACH IT! Taylor Swift fools (almost) everyone

Say! Let’s check out the headlines and see what made news at the Video Music Awards!

"Taylor Swift forgives Kanye West in a song," declared Radar this morning. "Taylor Swift absolves," the Washington Post confirmed. And via MTV, the outfit that hosted the VMAs and the celebrities in question: "Taylor Swift sings 'forgiveness' song to Kanye at VMAs."

Zowie. A trend, says I.

And also, a mystery: Because, good Lord, what MTV VMA show did these people watch? The one we saw did indeed feature Swift singing a painfully self-indulgent song while strumming a guitar stolen from a steampunk convention. But it certainly wasn’t a ditty of forgiveness. Not unless you also consider Winona Ryder and Gwyneth Paltrow to be soul mates who just had a couple of misunderstandings.

Swift’s lyrics went like this:

Angelina Jolie will not play Marilyn Monroe, rep says

Angelina Jolie won't be playing Marilyn Monroe in a movie telling Monroe's story from a "dog's-eye view," according to her management. 

Though an overseas report indicated Brad Pitt's partner would embody screen bombshell Monroe, Angie apparently will not see this side of a subway vent anytime soon -- no matter how she looks rocking platinum-blond hair.

Don't shoot the messenger.

In an e-mail from Jolie's rep, the Ministry was told, "Angelina is NOT attached to this project."

A dispatch from the UK's Daily Mail has author Andrew O'Hagan "confirming" that Jolie would portray the icon in a film adaptation of a book he wrote in the voice of a Scottish poodle given to Monroe by Frank Sinatra; the article also had past Pitt costar George Clooneyincorrectly attached to play Sinatra. O'Hagan has been a UNICEF UK ambassador for about the same amount of time Jolie's been involved with the U.N.'s refugee agency.

"The Life and Opinions of Maf the Dog, and of His Friend Marilyn Monroe" won't be released stateside until December.

Jolie's non-attachment doesn't surprise us -- after all, the mother of six is ...

 

PREACH IT! Justin Bieber, as grounded as he's always been

Justin Bieber is a little man with a taste for revenge on a large scale.

After some kid named Kevin Kristopik apparently hacked into the Twitter account of Bieber’s friend, Bieber retaliated, in a major way: He publicized Kristopik’s phone number. On his own Twitter account. Which -- because it’s Justin Bieber’s Twitter account -- means that Kristopik’s number went out to more than 4.5 million delirious Bieber fans.


Bieber represented Kristopik’s number as his own. The result? An estimated 26,000 texts from people hoping to connect with Bieber, he of the swooshy hair and the feverishly coached swagger -- not, you know, a 15-year-old Michigan teen named Kevin.

Bieber's revenge tweet has since been deleted. Kristopik, meanwhile, has changed his number and shut down his Twitter account.

Whole bunches of people -- probably the same yokels who think flight attendant Steven Slater is a shining champion of the oppressed -- will see Bieber’s actions as justified, an understandable attempt to defend himself and his friends from privacy violations.

Yeah, no.

When you’re a celebrity, there’s a reason you retain neck-snapping publicists and squadrons of lawyers who file their teeth into sharp points. And that reason is Kevin Kristopik. Bieber’s people could ...

PREACH IT! Dina Lohan’s word o’ the day: 'hardball.' Or maybe it’s 'overboard.' [poll]

Dina Lohan is back on the job. And by job, we mean telling the world how unfair it is.

Lohan appeared on the "Today” show Friday morning to speak to Matt Lauer, presumably about how Lohan’s daughter, Lindsay, is, you know, holding up.

But Lauer had his little cue cards all wrong. The real subject was that mean world and its unfair people. And Dina Lohan knew that, even if it remained a mystery to the clueless anchorman with a pointy, shiny egg for a head.

See the video below if you want to, but a typical exchange went like this: Lauer would ask Dina how Lindsay is doing in rehab.

Lohan: "She's great. She's been through a lot. The judge played hardball. Lindsay was in prison with alleged murderers, and she's become friends with a lot of them. Lindsay's rolled with the punches, and she's doing wonderfully. The judge was fired."

Lauer also asked whether the actress should have been jailed.

Daniel Radcliffe is sorry for his 'Harry Potter' no-show at Comic-Con

For those sorely disappointed fans of the "Harry Potter" franchise who were expecting to see the film's three stars at Comic-Con 2010, missing wizard Daniel Radcliffe says he's sorry.

"I apologize to all the wishful thinkers for my disappointing non-presence," Radcliffe told our brother blog Hero Complex on Monday.

The actor was abroad in Russia celebrating his 21st birthday -- and in fact he, Rupert Grint and Emma Watson were never confirmed to attend the San Diego event.

"I suppose it's like when I'm at [a music festival], and I hear that suddenly some amazing band is going to play a surprise gig and then it turns out to be total fiction."

Clearly it's the truth that hurt Comic-Con attendees. Know this -- the young man deserved a celebration. Principal photography has wrapped on the final two "Potter" films, "Deathly Hallows" parts 1 and 2. He's half-done with post-production voice work as Harry, and took some time to kick back.

PREACH IT! Prince declares Internet 'completely over,' Web somehow continues to function

Speaking unto the people the other day, Prince announced that the Internet is "completely over," indicating that the time has come for his loyal subjects to return to the era of the hard copy.

Prince has a new album coming out, see, but don’t look for it on iTunes or such. If the people want to hear Prince’s word delivered unto them, they must venture forth from their huts and villages and pick up a CD. (Fans might be able to find the album online and have it shipped -- U.S. distribution is still being worked out -- but then again, that would involve the Internet. So if you go that route, fine, but expect to be banned from Paisley Park forever.)

"The Internet's like MTV," the 52-year-old legend told the UK's Daily Mirror. "At one time MTV was hip and suddenly it became outdated. Anyway, all these computers and digital gadgets are no good. They just fill your head with numbers and that can't be good for you."

PREACH IT! Mel Gibson isn’t sorry, never was, end of story

Four years ago, when Mel Gibson got arrested for drunken driving and delivered the anti-Semitic rant heard 'round the world, he took his time delivering his mea culpas. A day after his arrest, he issued a vague apology, but it was aimed largely at the cops who arrested him. It barely addressed the millions of others he offended by opining that Jews are "responsible for all the wars in the world."

Three days after that, Gibson finally got around to the Jewish community.


"The tenets of what I profess to believe necessitate that I exercise charity and tolerance as a way of life," he intoned. "Every human being is God's child, and if I wish to honor my God I have to honor his children. But please know from my heart that I am not an anti-Semite. I am not a bigot. Hatred of any kind goes against my faith."

Cynics (and maybe one or two clear thinkers) blew him off. But many, many more people didn’t. Apologists flocked to comments boards worldwide, proclaiming that it was time to leave the poor guy alone, that some jerks in the media would never be satisfied, that he clearly had suffered enough.

Most importantly, defenders insisted, the apology really so totally proved that Gibson is so, so not a bigot, and all you "haters" -- because anyone who continued to question Gibson couldn’t possibly have reasonable reasons to do so -- could just sit down and shut up.

Cut to 2010. A brand-new, even more bigoted rant from Gibson ...