Celebrity

Category: Watch Your Mouth

PREACH IT! Prince declares Internet 'completely over,' Web somehow continues to function

Prince-in-concert

Speaking unto the people the other day, Prince announced that the Internet is "completely over," indicating that the time has come for his loyal subjects to return to the era of the hard copy.

Prince has a new album coming out, see, but don’t look for it on iTunes or such. If the people want to hear Prince’s word delivered unto them, they must venture forth from their huts and villages and pick up a CD. (Fans might be able to find the album online and have it shipped -- U.S. distribution is still being worked out -- but then again, that would involve the Internet. So if you go that route, fine, but expect to be banned from Paisley Park forever.)

"The Internet's like MTV," the 52-year-old legend told the UK's Daily Mirror. "At one time MTV was hip and suddenly it became outdated. Anyway, all these computers and digital gadgets are no good. They just fill your head with numbers and that can't be good for you."

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PREACH IT! Tiger Woods is still a dirty, dirty little boy

Tiger-sand Tiger Woods posted a letter to the fans on his website Friday. Let’s analyze some of the highlights to see how he’s doing out there.

I have to say it felt great to return to competition at the Masters Tournament.

Hooray! Tiger feels great! Hooray!

I received some criticism for bad language, which I apologized for immediately after Saturday's round. It's tough when you're in a competitive environment and in the flow of a tournament.

Tiger cussed! Oh no!

I honestly didn't know what to expect from the fans, but they were absolutely incredible from Monday through Sunday. It was unreal.

Nobody threw a pitching wedge at your head or called you a ho! Awesome!

It also felt great to be in the hunt again, but unfortunately, I didn't have my game.

Wow. Maybe not the best choice in words. Just saying. Moving on.

Tiger-knee Once the tournament came, everything felt normal, and I fell into my old rhythm and routine. I didn't even think about it; it just happened. My body knew what to do.

So many ways we could go with that. We’re gonna let that one go too.

Although it was my first tournament using all V-grooves, it was a seamless transition. I played V-grooves in all my irons except my sand wedges at The Presidents Cup and for the remainder of the year, so it was a pretty easy change.

OK, is it us or is this starting to get a little filthy?

I didn't have much trouble adjusting to the sand wedges because I have the softest ball on the PGA Tour.

Tiger! There are children reading this!

Finally, special thanks to all my fans for their well wishes and support. It means more than you know. Talk to you again soon.

Why, you utterly dirty BEAST -- Oh, wait. I guess that part was wholesome enough. Whelp, thanks for writing home, Tiger. We can see your rehab is totally working great!

-- Leslie Gornstein

Photos: Tiger Woods takes the second of two shots, top, to get out of a dirty, dirty bunker on the second hole during the final round of the Masters golf tournament in Augusta, Ga., on April 11, 2010. And at left, heck, we have no idea what he's doing, but it was going on 11 holes later on the same day  Credits: Chris O'Meara / Associated Press, top; Gerry Melendez / The State / MCT, left.

You never know when our words will take a turn for the dirty, especially if you're wallowing in the Preach It! archives. Want the headlines? Follow the Ministry of Gossip on Twitter (we're @LATcelebs) or become a fan on Facebook at facebook.com/ministryofgossip.


PREACH IT! Sigourney Weaver oughtta shut her pie hole! And we wrote that all by ourselves!

Cameron-weaver Sigourney Weaver: She not only fights the forces of anti-rain-forest evil but she can also read minds! Hundreds of them! And all at the same time!

For example: She knows why James Cameron, her director in "Avatar," didn’t take home the best picture trophy this year.

"Jim didn't have breasts, and I think that was the reason," Weaver told Brazilian news site Folha Online over the weekend. "He should have taken home that Oscar."

Which brings us to the introduction of a brand-new category here at the Ministry of Gossip: Yeah, No.

No, honey. Kathryn Bigelow didn’t get the Oscar just because she has boobies, although that likely was a large factor. (Actually, to be fair, we don’t know if it was a large factor; we don’t know Bigelow’s bra size.) No, Cameron didn’t get the Oscar because: (a) he already has one for best picture, and that sort of thing does tend to sway the academy, and (b) more important, he can’t write. At all. Even a little bit.

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Jesse James' alleged mistress: The 'ick' factor increases

Jesse james A rocky road ahead is pretty much guaranteed once you announce to the world that you did the nasty with the hubby of America's Sweetheart. Sprinkle in a swastika or two and the road gets even rockier.

Nazi fetish photos of Michelle "Bombshell" McGee, a.k.a. "Michelle Sinai," in all her tattooed glory, taken a year ago, were publicized today by TMZ. Wearing a swastika armband and military cap, McGee licks a death's head dagger and poses with a large gun. TMZ reports that the imagery was the photographer's concept.

On Twitter, people have been flinging venomous, profane, unpublishable messages at a McGee account that hasn't been updated since Saturday. We can't publish the account's username because that too contains profanity. And we'd link you to McGee's MySpace and Facebook pages, but, well -- you get the idea.

Over in a no-cussing zone, however, roommate Lindsay Sinai sat down with E! News and calmly spilled her observations about the alleged relationship, and CNN tried to explain why we care about Sandra Bullock's love life. Long story short on Sandy: We like her. We really like her.

Incidentally Jesse James' @frankyluckman Twitter account ...

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Serena Williams gets a gosh-awful big fine for cussing at the U.S. Open

Serena

Looks as if today's gossip theme is "pro athletes gone wild": Tennis superstar Serena Williams let the profanity fly at the U.S. Open earlier this year, and today she's paying the price. 

And it's a record price.

The fine is at least $82,500, increasing to $175,000 if she mouths off at any Grand Slam tournaments in 2010 or 2011.

Our friends over at the Fabulous Forum have all the details, plus a bleep-a-licious video of the outburst, if you're curious.

You aren't allowed to cuss in comments at the Ministry of Gossip either, but unlike in pro tennis, there are no fines -- we just click "delete."

-- Christie D'Zurilla

Photo: Serena Williams at a news conference after her Sept. 12 match against Kim Clijsters of Belgium at the U.S. Open tennis tournament in New York.  Credit: Charles Krupa / Associated Press.

Click here for the Ministry of Gossip's "all cussing, all the time" channel.

If you'd rather read about pro athletes gone wild, click here.

Follow the Ministry of Gossip on Facebook and Twitter(we're @LATcelebs).




Tila Tequila naked? And this is news because ... ?

TilaTila Tequila, never known for her shyness or sobriety or an excess of clothing, had a naked, ranting meltdown Wednesday night on her UStream channel, and today the video has been taken down. And Tila's lawyer told TMZ.com today that he's trying to get help for the star of MTV's "A Shot at Love With Tila Tequila." 

Tequila, whose real name is Tila Nguyen, had filed a lawsuit this week against former boyfriend Shawne Merriman of the San Diego Chargers, seeking $1.5 million in damages for alleged domestic abuse in a September incident.

The legions of folks who follow Tila (we feel silly calling her "Tequila") on Twitter and elsewhere online are almost used to this sort of thing. Believe us, we'd love to link you to lots more than we're doing, but dang, that girl has a mouth on her.

It's all fun and games and naked people -- until the lawyers show up. 

-- Christie D'Zurilla

Photo: Tila Tequila is the star of "A Shot at Love With Tila Tequila," which is sort of a bisexual-themed version of "The Bachelor" in which everyone pays a lot of attention to -- you guessed it -- Tila Tequila. Credit: MTV.

Related live nude news sponsored by the Ministry of Gossip's wardrobe budget:

Sharon Stone goes topless (in bondage togs) for Paris Match magazine

Enough Carrie Prejean news to make your head explode

Chelsea Handler, Jay Leno and Playboy, a magazine with naked people in it





Before Kate Moss speaks again, we want to shove a sandwich in her mouth

Kate2009oct "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels"?

Well, Kate Moss, say what you will to WWD, but if it's you versus those uptight health professionals and others who consider eating to be a necessity, we're siding with the snacks.

Why the uproar? Because when the original sunken-eyed face of heroin chic speaks out about weight -- or wears fur, or loses contracts after allegations of drug use -- there's no proper response except an uproar. 

See, the "nothing tastes as good" motto started among people trying to lose weight for healthful reasons. That's a good thing.

But now it's also commonly used in online communities that support anorexia and bulimia for starving's and barfing's sake. Do a search for "thinspiration" if you think Lifetime movies don't come true. But beware -- the results can be gross.

Katie Green, the model who was "too fat" for Wonderbra and is now campaigning to stop the use of ultra-thin models, told the Sun newspaper Moss' comments are "shocking and irresponsible."

On the other side, the agency that reps Moss said in a statement that the phrase was part of a longer answer and had been taken out of context: "For the record, Kate does not support this as a lifestyle choice."

Thank goodness we don't take many tips from supermodels.

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John Cusack knows what it's like to get older


We have such a big crush on John Cusack (as an actor, not an activist) that we're giving him a whole post simply because he mumbled a dirty word on "The Early Show" on CBS this morning.

Mediaite is among those with video of the interview, which is very collegial. John's simply honest in describing the passage of time.

If you didn't grow up with "Say Anything," you may be more familiar with Cusack as "that guy who's going to be in the movie '2012' " and not "that 'American Beauty' guy." (Click to the jump if you want that reference to make sense.)

Though we like him best as a professional killer

Click onward for a Cusack interview that went slightly worse than the one earlier today. 

-- Christie D'Zurilla

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