Category: Tila Tequila

10/10/10: Celebrity scandals from a spicy year so far

6a00d8341c630a53ef01348544e626970c-pi[1] Batten down the hatches -- it's 10/10/10, a day of some sort of reckoning, because humans enjoy these kinds of mathematical patterns, yes? (That said, those who pay attention to such things might surmise that the new moon of 10/7/10 was probably a more auspicious date, in terms of big-picture life shakeups. But we digress.)

It's a time to take 10 and look back on a year that brought us the "breakup" of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, the lurrrrve patterns of Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart, the brain bleeds of Bret Michaels, the upskirt photography and "Hannah Montana"-ditching and gay-man grinding and envelope-pushing of an "OMG I'm almost 18 now!" Miley Cyrus, and nationwide auditions for "Glee," which if nothing else revealed an insane lack of reading comprehension among the youth of America.

And don't forget the deaths of Corey Haim, Andrew Koenig and "Deadliest Catch" Capt. Phil Harris, and the arrest of Jake Harris.

But moving forward, we present 10 spicy celebrity scandals and sagas from the first 10 months of 2010. It's enough to leep you talking about for at least 10 minutes -- or you can chat about a different story with 10 different people.

10. Artie Lange, Howard Stern's sidekick, attempted suicide in January by stabbing himself nine times, only to be rescued in time when his mom stopped by to bring him food. He's recovered now, playing his first club standup date Sept. 26, coincidentally one day after the accidental prescription drug overdose of comic Greg Giraldo, on whom the plug was pulled Sept. 29.

9. Casey Johnson, heiress to the Johnson & Johnson fortune and "fiancee" of Tila Tequila, was found dead on Jan. 4. Johnson's death was ruled to be the result of natural causes including not attending to her diabetes, but Tequila worked it for all it was worth. Oh yeah, Miss Tila's trying to get a sex tape with an old boyfriend pulled from the market now, but the judge pretty much laughed at her.

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PREACH IT! Snooki's life is so romantic I feel dead inside

Snooki-leaves-jail My heart broke as I scanned around the online tabloids Monday and learned this: Jeff Miranda, boyfriend of "Jersey Shore" star Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi, has proposed. He did so via the magazine Steppin’ Out, which, in the past year, has featured cover stars including Hailey Glassman, Tila Tequila and Kevin Federline.

When I first saw this story, a fierce, almost uncontrollable jealousy leapt within me, like Sammi after too many mai tais. When my husband proposed to me several years ago, he did so on a moonlit beach on Maui, by an isolated bench that caught the gentle sea breeze, after a quiet alfresco dinner for two.

Did my husband even think of trumpeting his love while dressed in nothing but a pair of military fatigues and a hat on the cover of the No. 1 juicehead publication on Earth?

No. No he did not. Why can’t I get romance like that? On a more hopeful note, I suppose it's nice that Miranda-style chivalry isn’t totally dead.

Snooki, for her part, has not commented on the proposal.

-- Leslie Gornstein

Photo: "Jersey Shore" cast member Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi leaves the local police department after being detained on July 30, 2010, in Seaside Heights, N.J. She was charged with disorderly conduct after other beachgoers reported she was bothering them. Credit: Bradley J. Penner / Asbury Park Press / Associated Press

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Reports: Tila Tequila attack wasn't exactly spontaneous

Tila-on-new-years The audience attack on Tila Tequila at the Gathering of the Juggalos in Illinois early Saturday morning may have been far from spontaneous.

There were "informal yet openly communicated plans to harm or harass Tila Tequila in some way," according to SFGate, which cited tweets from A.V. Club blogger-author Nathan Rabin, who was at the event, as well as posts on an anti-Juggalo website that alleged Insane Clown Posse fans had threatened Miss Tila on her MySpace page and continued to do so after the event.

Among the printable comments quoted by SFGate: "Please spare the Juggalos and stay home … you can’t even spell ICP’s name correctly ... you don’t belong there." (On Twitter she'd been calling the group the "Insane Klown Posse" and "IKP.")

Rabin has posted a fascinating (albeit profanity-peppered, so be warned) first-person account from the festival, where he was researching a book and was in the audience during Tila's set.

According to Rabin, turnout at the Gathering of the Juggalos was down from the previous year's 10th-anniversary festival, and fans he talked to were blaming some of that on the number of mainstream acts that had been booked, diluting the lineup of Psychopathic Records acts at the event.

Said Rabin:

This invites the question: What ... was Tila Tequila doing at the Gathering in the first place? Who couldn’t have seen this train wreck coming from half a hemisphere away? Every Juggalo I spoke to that day seethed with rage and suggested that something very, very bad would happen to Tequila that very night.

Rabin cited "exquisitely mixed signals" -- signals that can't be reprinted at this blog -- sent out by ICP's Violent J and Shaggy 2 Dope at an address in a festival tent early Friday night.

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Tila Tequila attacked during late-night rap performance


Tila Tequila was pelted with rocks and bottles in the wee hours Saturday, then chased off stage at a music festival in Illinois by a mob who allegedly surrounded her trailer, rocking it and breaking windows, a witness and a sheriff told CNN. She said on Twitter that she planned to sue organizers of the event.

"Pretty soon the owners who run the Juggalos will be bankrupt," she tweeted Saturday afternoon. "My attorney Alan is already on it. This is disgusting behavior from men."

[Reports: Tila Tequila attack wasn't exactly spontaneous]

Tequila's set was scheduled for 2:30 a.m. Saturday, with events on the Aug. 13 "day" of the festival having started as early as 10 a.m. Friday, according to a Gathering of the Juggalos schedule on the Insane Clown Posse website. Tom Green had a set starting at 2 a.m., with Lil Kim inked for around 3:30 a.m.

Ahead of the show, the reality-TV-personality-turned-rapper now going by "Miss Tila" expressed her excitement on Twitter: "Lil Kim also performing tonight!! Woohoo! This is gonna be so fun!! I bought a TON of cool [stuff] that imma spray at the crowd!!! Lol!"

After the show, not so much: "[V]iolence against women like myself or anyone for that matter is not ok! Lawsuit is pending."

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OMG! The former Tila Tequila sings. Live. Honest.

Tila kiss Dear Miss Tila: Why? Just ... why??

The entertainer formerly known as Tila Tequila  toted her talent over to KTLA on Wednesday and delivered "I Love My DJ" -- reproducing almost all of the words in the tune -- in advance of her live show that night at the Conga Room.

She's a cappella up front, with the "big production number" starting about 2:45 -- shortly after she talks about her new celebrity gossip blog (she's got her sights set on taking out Perez Hilton).

OMG. Just ... OMG.

-- Christie D'Zurilla

Photo: Miss Tila kisses a mirror image of Miss Tila on May 11, 2010. Credit: Richard Vogel / Associated Press.

Click and scroll down for all things Tila. Want the headlines? Follow the Ministry of Gossip on Twitter (we're @LATcelebs), or visit our Facebook page -- 'like' us and we'll show up in your news feed.

Maxim's Hot 100 list: Katy Perry is tops, but Heidi Montag flops

Katy-perry-web Katy Perry rocketed up Maxim's Hot 100 list this year, jumping to No. 1 after buzzing around at No. 15 in 2009.

What made her so much hotter this year -- the Russell Brand engagement? The ProActiv acne treatment commercials? After getting hooked on 2008's "I Kissed a Girl," Maxim seems to like Perry's "California Gurls" single for 2010, and has high hopes for a super summer backed by tunes from her upcoming album.

Girl-next-door Perry didn't make the cover, however. That hotness was delivered by Victoria's Secret model Selita Ebanks.

Rihanna moved up a spot this year to No. 6, up from No. 8 in 2009 and No. 15 in 2008 -- maybe all those photo shoots helped? Megan Fox, meanwhile, fell to No. 5 from No. 2 in 2009. (Yeah, the unfunny school budget cuts video took the edge off for us too.)

After popping onto the list at No. 100 in 2008 and falling off it last year, Tila Tequila thankfully remains un-Hot in Maxim's eyes. The mag appears unimpressed with Heidi Montag as well -- she made the list in 2008 and 2009, but fell off this year, possibly due to the weight of her massive new breast implants.

How soon until hubby Spencer Pratt lovingly tweets his outrage? We're betting soon, because "The Hills" costar Audrina Patridge -- who didn't even make the cover of People -- came in 12th.

-- Christie D'Zurilla

Photo: Katy Perry arrives at the 27th Annual ASCAP Pop Music Awards on April 21 in Los Angeles. Credit: Chris Pizzello / Associated Press 

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Tila Tequila headline quest expands to hint at miscarriage, until 'confirmed' Russian adoption soothes her pain

Tila slip How would you guys feel if something HORRIBLE happened to you & the ENTIRE WORLD got to see u go through all that PRIVATE MOMENTS???

-- Tila Tequila on Twitter, in the middle of more than 20 posts about how she's in pain and worried about losing the baby she says she's carrying

Looks like Tila Tequila took one of the Ministry's recent headlines a little too seriously.

Scarred by a recent hospital visit and mistrustful of EMTs, who are in it only to call the paparazzi for attention and care nothing about her health, our heroine Ms. Tequila has been tweeting like mad this morning while waiting for her no-paparazzi-allowed personal doctor's office to open at 9 a.m., taking a few moments to explain, among other things, how she told friends she'd kill herself if anything happened to the baby.

And oh yeah, she's had this premonition that she's going to die before she's 30.

Though if she died, she says, at least she'd be with Casey Johnson, the wife she never married

We agree with the Hollywood Gossip that none of these topics are laughing matters, except when it comes to Tila Tequila.

Cut to ... Tila Tequila right around 9 a.m., when she's supposed to be going to her doctor:

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PREACH IT! John Mayer stops tweeting, leaves us all alone with Tila Tequila

John mayer darkWe here at the Ministry could dedicate this post to how offensive, just offensive, the whole John Mayer Twitter debacle has been. That Playboy interview! Airing his dirty laundry like that! Speaking in such ribald language about the ladies! Using the N word!

We could pull a CNN -- call up some talking heads and hold a marginally responsible debate on whether Mayer has some sort of blurting condition. Or we could pull a Fox News. You know, call in a different assortment of heads and discuss whether Mayer’s behavior is indicative of general Moral Backsliding in America.

But those approaches, though occasionally amusing -- always fun to see how far Bill O’Reilly can make his face retreat into his own neck -- would also be dishonest.

For most people -- especially us -- watching rich people talk themselves into a hole isn’t tragic. It’s not an outrage. It’s not Cause for Concern.

It’s fun.

In fact, there’s only one thing more entertaining than watching a pompous celebrity meltdown on Twitter, and that’s the implosion of self-pity that happens afterward. For Mayer, that Phase II has begun.

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PREACH IT! Who will save us from Tila Tequila? Or: Save the forest!

Tila Tequila2 For many a dark day, Tila Tequila ruled the Twitterverse with an iron feather boa. Any random thought of hers could be belched into the virgin air at any time, with no warning. Grapes withered on the vine. Children stopped growing. Millions suffered in silence.

Then, suddenly and in a flurry of bile, Tequila quit Twitter. The poisonous screeching that had stunted the trees stopped; the grass began to turn back to its natural green. All the gentle forest creatures timidly peeked out of their hidey-holes and began to sing in the treetops and bask in the sun once more, and where there were once only scorched black scars of earth, tender seedlings were seen popping up and making the world whole again.

Now she’s back.

“Well it looks like you failed to get me 1,000 followers within the time frame I asked,” she ranted last night. “So no BIG SECRE [sic] ANNOUNCEMENT FOR YOU TONIGHT!”

“I am going to sleep now, but when I wake up tomorrow, I [sic] better have at least 15K followers or else I'm not gonna tell you! So tell everyone!”

“You guys ALMOST made it! DAMN! SOOOO CLOSE to 1,000 people but you took too long! Sorry ... that's how this game works! U failed ur duty! =( “

That high-pitched squeaking sound you hear is the fawn population, dying en masse.

--Leslie Gornstein

Photo credit: Noel Vasquez / Getty Images

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Related dispatches from the Ministry of Gossip:

PREACH IT! Tila Tequila proves our point and then promises to leave us alone

Tila Tequila is pregnant or married or something?

Tila Tequila's publicist steps down

Tila Tequila engaged to heiress Casey Johnson, she says

Want the headlines? Follow the Ministry of Gossip on Facebook and Twitter (we're @LATcelebs on Twitter). Find us at facebook.com/ministryofgossip.

PREACH IT! Tila Tequila proves our point and then promises to leave us alone

Tila Tila Tequila has quit Twitter. You’ll see her reason quoted -- unedited -- below, followed by our interpretation, which is provided by our brand-new, patented MOG Celebrity-to-English Translator (TM).


Translated via the MOG CTET (TM):

"Ingrates! I provide you with exclusive, minute-by-minute insights into my incredible life, including all of my amazing thoughts on my late fiance, Casey Johnson, and you have the nerve to tell me what you really think. You don’t deserve my terrificness. I bid you good day. I said good day."

Why are we not surprised? Maybe because we told you so just a few weeks ago?

--Leslie Gornstein

Photo: Tila Tequila adjusts at a party late last year. Credit: Noel Vasquez / Getty Images

Get more of Preach It! goodness through the elegantly simple act of clicking here.

Want the headlines? Follow the Ministry of Gossip on Facebook and Twitter (we're @LATcelebs on Twitter). Find us at facebook.com/ministryofgossip.


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