The latest news angle in Madonna's ongoing Hydrangea Scandal? Madonna has apologized!
Actually, no she hasn't! Madonna has simply made a video that managed to turn her hatred of the puffy flowers into another 48 hours of total global supremacy!
For the record, Madonna's video -- a silent-film response, below, to people who would dare call her rude -- is not an apology, to the flowers or the fellow who presented one to her at the Venice Film Festival. La Grande Battleaxe de Photo Op has rarely, if ever, apologized for anything. In fact, a decade ago somebody made the mistake of asking Madge to regret something and all it did was generate more ink. (Madonna had been asked to present at the Turner Awards ceremony. But the organizers had refused to call her Mrs. Ritchie, per her demand. The Turner people also asked Madonna not to swear in her speech, so she did. Later, she explained, “People expect that sort of behavior from me.")
Cut to 2011, and Madge is still working the same schtick, only with subtitles. And the kids still love it.
Who are we to buck the tide? The Ministry of Gossip hereby declares this whole week to be Madonna Awareness Day -- because you can't capture all that is Madge in a mere 24 hours. And to celebrate, of course, we're encouraging fans the world over to send Madonna flowers. You guess what kind.
Given how much Madonna just loves dragging this out she's sure to love each and every hydrangea that is sent. No doubt she expects such behavior from us.
-- Leslie Gornstein
Photos: Look, Madge! It's hydrangeas, with diamonds on top! Credits, from left: Jay L. Clendenin / Los Angeles Times; Jason Merritt / Getty Images