Kate Gosselin gets a tip from Jon: Reality TV is not a career

Pearls of wisdom from Jon Gosselin? Really? Yes, really -- at least when it comes to ex-wife Kate Gosselin and her job uncertainty now that "Kate Plus 8" has been canceled. 

"To rely on reality television ... reality television is not a career," Jon Gosselin told RumorFix, even as Kate Gosselin's tale of "freaking out" was landing in mailboxes and on newsstands on the cover of People magazine. "Get back to normal life, simple life, provide for your family and go from there."

Plenty of pots and kettles here, of course: Jon wasn't shy about working the reality-star angle as he tried to earn a living after he and Kate split and "Jon & Kate Plus 8" morphed into just Kate and the kids. Ed Hardy sound familiar, anyone? How about Millions of Milkshakes?

Still, Kate told People that she realized that going back to 12-hour nursing shifts wouldn't let her "continue to provide well for eight kids essentially on my own." ("Essentially" = Jon is paying child support.)

While she said she was willing work her fingers to the bone so the kids could stay in their current house and school, weekend-dad Jon offered some perspective: "I don't have a farm with 24 acres, and the kids seem to have a good time at my house," he said.

"Obviously there are families out there that have several kids -- people work normal jobs and things work out," said Jon, currently employed as a computer support engineer.

Kate and the kids' "reality" reality comes to a close Monday, with their show's season finale.

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Kate Gosselin 'freaking out' with 8 kids, no reality-TV show [Poll]

-- Christie D'Zurilla
Twitter.com/dzurillaville

Photo: Jon Gosselin in Las Vegas in August 2009, when he was still looking to turn his reality-TV name into money. Credit: Ethan Miller / Getty Images

PREACH IT! Hey! Here's a something-or-other about the Gosselins!

It’s a slow news day; may as well play into Hailey Glassman’s hands.

Never has there been quite a pack of fame addicts quite so egregious as the Gosselins and their various hangers-on and exes. When it comes to manipulating the media into continuous coverage, the whole crew rivals even Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt.

Observe the latest exploits of Glassman, onetime paramour of Jon Gosselin. On Wednesday, she came forth with an allegation so bombshell-y that it could easily lead to some combination of the following: criminal charges for Gosselin, a serious defamation lawsuit against Glassman herself. No matter what, a third outcome is almost certain: at least one week of fresh headlines for all parties involved.

By way of Radar, Glassman has accused Gosselin of trying to extort his ex-wife, perennial reality barnacle Kate Gosselin. According to Glassman, Jon Gosselin threatened to report ...

Gosselin kids OK'd to appear in 'Kate Plus 8' TV specials

Single mom Kate Gosselin says she did "Dancing With the Stars" to support her kids -- now the tykes will get a chance to support themselves after Pennsylvania approved the labor permits for "Kate Plus 8," a series of TLC specials that will air this summer. 

In a decision earlier this month, the Pennsylvania Department of Labor and Industry said that although no permits had been pulled for "Jon & Kate Plus 8," Kate and Jon Gosselin, TLC and the show's producers wouldn't face legal action as long as 15% of gross proceeds were put into a trust fund for the kids, and proper permits were obtained for future filming.

This doesn't, mind you, have anything to do with Mom's new show, "A Twist of Kate." No kiddies on that one, just Mama Gosselin traveling the country to help others.

-- Christie D'Zurilla

Photo: Kate Gosselin was in Santa Monica on April 16 to sign copies of her new book, "I Just Want You To Know: Letters to My Kids on Love, Faith and Family." Credit: John M. Heller / Getty Images 

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PREACH IT! Kate Gosselin's 'DWTS' trauma: She does it for the kids

Poor Kate Gosselin. She really wishes she didn’t have to be famous, but she must be. The mother of eight has no choice, she insists, but to endure "Dancing With the Stars," and her upcoming reality show, and the absolutely mandatory five-figure makeovers, and the book tours. But not because she craves the attention. No. Make no mistake. Every second she suffers in the spotlight -- in the makeup chair, in a lonely green room filled only with gourmet bottled water and freshly catered food -- is all for the love of the children.

“I don't see another option,” Gosselin told Meredith Vieira in what has become a familiar refrain. “I have eight kids to provide for.”

Sure, at first glance, Kate is dealing with a pretty pricey litter of rug rats. According to one analysis, it could cost her and her ex, Jon, about $300,000 to raise each of their eight children to college age -- roughly $2.4 million total. If each of the kids also attends college, that’s at least another mil. So, Jon and Kate are facing, if the pundits are to be believed, at least $3.4 million in total costs to raise their kids.

But keep on crunching the numbers, and Kate’s Mother Theresa motives start to crumble. These are ...

Kate Gosselin channels her inner Energizer Bunny

Yes, ex-husband Jon Gosselin is suing her for custody of their eight kids.

Yes, "Dancing With the Stars" judge Bruno Tonioli says, "She's crap. But in a nice way."

Yes, Jimmy Fallon got laughs brutally mocking her "Paparazzi" paso doble.

And yes, Hugh Hefner has turned up his nose.

Nevertheless, Kate Gosselin just keeps pushing ahead -- getting credit for boosting "DWTS" past "American Idol" in the ratings for the first time, signing on for her new TLC show "Twist of Kate" and smacking her ex upside the head in People magazine. 

Note to self: When Armageddon arrives, ensure proximity to Kate Gosselin. Chance of survival increases exponentially.

-- Christie D'Zurilla

Photo: Kate Gosselin and partner Tony Dovolani dance to "Paparazzi" on "Dancing with the Stars" on Monday. Credit: Adam Larkey / ABC / Associated Press

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PREACH IT! Michael Lohan, Kate Major get engaged; Ministry of Gossip consults Book of Revelation

If you’ve eaten a hearty meal in the last two hours, you might not want to read this.

Michael Lohan and Kate Major are engaged. Yes, that’s the same Michael Lohan who once called Jon Gosselin a friend and who calls news conferences to air his daughter’s problems. And, correct, that is the same Kate Major who dated Gosselin and then flayed him in print.

Major is 27. Lohan turns 50 soon. The bride-to-be has indicated she will hold a winter wedding in New York; she has selected the bridesmaids, and Lohan sought permission from Major’s father before moving forward with the union.

“I’m ecstatic,” Major told People magazine. “I’m very happy. Michael and I have known each other for four years, and it’s meant to be.”

They are registered at Ed Hardy and the ninth circle of hell.

Lindsay Lohan has offered her good wishes, sort of.

On the icky scale, we’re not sure where these folks fall; our guess is somewhere between Britney Spears-Kevin Federline and Anna Nicole Smith-That Skanky Guy, but you tell us.

-- Leslie Gornstein 

Photo: Michael Lohan, Lindsay Lohan's father, arrives at Family Court in Westbury, N.Y. , on July 30, 2007. Credit: Ed Betz / Associated Press

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PREACH IT! $5,000 each for 'Jersey Shore' Season 2? Sure, for EACH of the Situation's ab muscles

Do I go with the cliche lead? Sure, why not!

The “Jersey Shore” kids are reportedly saying "fuhgeddaboudit" to a low-ball salary offer for Season 2 of their hit reality show.

Per TMZ, Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi and the rest of the crowd were each initially offered $5,000 per episode for the second season; with 12 episodes planned, that would be $60,000 per season per guido or guidette.

Understandably, the kids balked.

Now, there are some seriously pitiful reality-show paychecks out there -- as little as $100 to $150 a day for some shows, particularly in the competition category. It’s not even unheard of for producers to ask some reality-show contestants to appear free; apparently somebody still thinks that appearing on a reality show will lead to champagne kisses and caviar dreams one day.

You know -- like an investment.

Hailey Glassman fires parting shots at Jon Gosselin

Jon Gosselin may already be in "love" again. And his most recent ex (ex-girlfriend, not ex-wife) apparently doesn't give a flying snowplow whether Jon's found his dream girl on the snowboarding slopes (Jon does love his snowboarding).

However, she can think of eight other people who might be concerned about a rumored move to Utah -- which we emphasize is only a rumor.

Hailey Glassman tells People magazine, "Congrats to the new girlfriend and I wish [Jon] luck with his move to Utah. I mean, I'm not sure if he remembers he has eight children back in Pennsylvania." She goes on to describe those ex-kids (OK, he does still have some sort of custody) as workers in Jon's "legalized sweatshop," likely a reference to his ex-TV show, "Jon & Kate Plus 8."

Hmm. Did Hailey remember Jon had eight children when they were off together in St. Tropez last summer? Maybe her dad -- Kate's tummy-tuck surgeon, whom we assume could tell his patient has kids --  forgot to mention it?

We're just asking. 

The magazine reports, in its words, that Glassman is "taking the high road" after their relationship fell apart in an ugly way that included conflicts about paying the rent at their ex-apartment.

"I've been through way too much for a 22-year-old, and the amount of stress and pain I've endured is unfathomable," Hailey says.

Oh please. We don't even have to add a joke to make that hysterically funny. 

We're so happy to be an ex-22-year-old.

-- Christie D'Zurilla

Photo: Oh yeah, baby, who wouldn't want a piece of that? It's Jon Gosselin leaving a Pennsylvania court back in October. Credit: Matt Rourke / Associated Press

Good heavens the Ministry has a lot of related Gosselin dispatches:

The hedgehog is dead: Meet Kate Gosselin's new hair

Jon Gosselin's burglary really a publicity stunt?

Jon Gosselin's apartment is burglarized -- and we feel kinda bad for him

PREACH IT! My eyes! They burn! As I write this story! The pain! The paaaaaiiin! (and a poll)

Every once in a while a celebrity story comes along that tips the skank scale even for us gossip hounds.

Such stories are so highly toxic that hazmat suits and safety goggles are recommended before viewing.

The Ministry of Gossip cannot be held responsible for any communicable diseases, skin outbreaks, poisoning, cancerous growths or any other medical issues that may arise in connection with reading the following statement.

Michael Lohan -- father of Lindsay and former best friend of Jon Gosselin -- and Kate Major -- onetime tabloid reporter and erstwhile girlfriend of Gosselin -- are reportedly dating.

She is apparently 26; he is 49.

Pause while I fumigate my keyboard and order a steam cleaning of the motherboard over at the Genius Bar.

Oh, shouldn’t have done that. Yet. There’s more.

“The two, who have been reportedly seeing one another on the sly for quite some time, are getting serious,” Hollywood Life reports.

Jon Gosselin's apartment burglary really a publicity stunt?

See what happens when we cut a guy a break and feel kinda bad for him? This might turn out to be a case of no more sympathy for you, Jon Gosselin. (Except, of course, from those who hate your ex-wife, Kate Gosselin, but that's another story.)

Was Jon's misfortune over the weekend all a publicity stunt? His ex-girlfriend's lawyer says it was.

Gosselin's Manhattan apartment that he shared with Hailey Glassman was ransacked while he was away visiting his kids for Christmas, and he suspects his ex-girlfriend of the deed. His lawyer says Hailey is "going to jail, it's as simple as that."

Glassman has not been charged with anything, however, so that would probably make the "going to jail" part a little less simple, no?

Hailey admits to writing the note that was spiked onto Gosselin's dresser with a butcher knife -- it wasn't a nice note -- but she says she didn't do the impale-on-a-butcher-knife part or trash the place. (Earlier reports said items had been taken, but that's now unclear.) Her attorney says they believe this is all a PR stunt.

Police noted that reporters began arriving at the precinct house even before they had a chance to interview Gosselin about the destruction of his home, sources told the New York Post:

"How did they know so quickly? No cop could have tipped them -- it was too quick," a source said. "Cops only just found out and they [the media] were already set up outside."

The Ministry knows people whose homes have been burglarized and ransacked, and on top of the financial blow, the psychological damage lasts for years.

If this was faked for publicity, well -- let's just say, what goes around, comes around.

What goes around comes around if it's for real too.

Jon denies it was a stunt.

-- Christie D'Zurilla

Photo: Jon Gosselin leaves a Pennsylvania courthouse, where his divorce battle raged, on Oct. 26, 2009. Credit: Matt Rourke / Associated Press

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