Celebrity

Category: Jaimee Grubbs

PREACH IT! Meet the ladies of the Tiger Woods scandal

Jungers
It has been brought to my attention that maybe the media is being a little unfair with this whole Tiger Woods-and-his-harem-of-strumpets angle. Per certain columnists, this angle is sexist, because Tiger Woods gets to stay Tiger Woods, the troubled mega-billionaire athlete, while the ladies remain mere one-sided flakes, assigned to one-word descriptors such as “model” or “waitress.”

“In the same way that the man in this tabloid drama gets the benefit of ad nauseam motivational dissection, so should the women,” Robin Givhan of the Washington Post intoned this week.

She is right. The lopsided coverage has been absolutely unjust. Tiger may be the only famous person in this story, and the only character in this drama that any celebrity gossip connoisseur or golf fan really cares all that much about, and the whole point of all of these hundreds of stories about a self-described family guy who turned out to be a ginormous liar, but these anonymous waitresses and models are people, dang it. It is my duty, if you’ll allow, to flesh them out and bring you all the information out there about them.

Because if there’s one thing I’m sure you’ve been wondering over the last few weeks, it’s, “Just what is Jaimee Grubbs' stance on cap and trade?”

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VIDEO: 'Is Tiger Feeling Lucky Today?' aka 'This is your gossip on Google'


Tigergreen This Tiger Woods-related video is -- *gasp* -- about a week old.

Oddly, it's still relevant.

The folks at SlateV.com simply get the chance to include the most recent nine or so women who've joined the scandal since last week. Remember the good old days, when Rachel Uchitel, Derek Jeter and Jaimee Grubbs were the entire ensemble cast? Before the list of mistresses -- strike that, "girlfriends" -- hit 11?

Yeah, we miss those days too.

For anyone who's been keeping tabs on Tiger's tail for the past 100 years (omigosh it hasn't even been two weeks), this should make you all warm and mushy inside.

-- Christie D'Zurilla

Photo credit: Andrew Brownbill / Associated Press.

Click here for all things Tiger Woods, or at least a whole lot of things Tiger Woods.

Want the headlines? Follow the Ministry of Gossip on Facebook and Twitter (we're @LATcelebs on Twitter).

Plus we just got a brand new address on Facebook -- you can find us easily at facebook.com/ministryofgossip.


Transgressions R Us, Part 2: Tiger Woods drama die-hards only, please [UPDATED]

Australia

Hey, we're back! And you're back! Cool!

We had some fun last time, yes?

~~ Hmm. *You* are back too, oh respecter of Tiger Woods' privacy. Didn't we go over this once before? ~~

It's game day, and the Ministry is Coliseum-bound, but we wanted to make sure folks started the weekend up to date on the condition of the S.S. Tiger Woods, which, you may recall, sustained some damage below the waterline this week

Rules remain the same -- if you're above all this, what the heck are you doing here? Gold star for you; now scram.  Wanna know what's been going on in Tiger Town? C'mon out behind the gym for a few minutes and we'll hook you up.

~~ Privacy fans? This is where you click out. For real. ~~

Sometimes the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few, or the one. Even if the one is, you know, Tiger Woods.

Let's meet a few of those needs, shall we?

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Tiger Woods: 'Personal sins should not require press releases' -- but here is his, plus that voicemail recording

Swing

Tiger Woods has spoken out. Sort of. In a long, sort of vague statement on his website.

But the Ministry figures that on the Tiger scale of self-revelation, the statement this morning is the equivalent of standing on the 18th green in front of a hushed crowd and screaming, screaming, screaming.

Wonder if he can shout down the sound of this voicemail message? Yeah, turns out the official statement isn't  the only place he's spoken out. (When the Ministry heard the Jaimee Grubbs recording at USMagazine.com it felt like a gut punch, so if you really dig Tiger and want to respect his privacy, just pretend it's not out there. There are some things you can't unhear.)

Some excerpts from Woods' statement:

"I have let my family down and I regret those transgressions with all of my heart. I have not been true to my values and the behavior my family deserves. I am not without faults and I am far short of perfect."

Given the fact that David Letterman's first mea culpa backfired on him a bit, when audiences initially thought he was joking, Tiger's controlled approach makes sense. Then again, Letterman is used to delivering a monologue, and Tiger is used to walking down the fairway on a Sunday when the odds are against him, summoning his concentration and often pulling off the impossible.

And this does make life easier for Golf Digest, given the content of its January cover featuring Woods and President Obama.

"Although I am a well-known person and have made my career as a professional athlete, I have been dismayed to realize the full extent of what tabloid scrutiny really means. ... The stories in particular that physical violence played any role in the car accident were utterly false and malicious. Elin has always done more to support our family and shown more grace than anyone could possibly expect."

Sorry, dude. You might've thought you could buy your Privacy -- but this is how the world is for the rest of us. It's just exponentially louder for you because nobody knows who the rest of us are. And Tiger? Don't be super shocked when your statement -- which the Ministry thinks is just fine -- doesn't make everyone else shut up.

"Personal sins should not require press releases and problems within a family shouldn't have to mean public confessions."

No, they shouldn't. Unless, of course, you're the most famous athlete in the world -- and one who to this point has appeared to be perfect -- in which case you have to meet the world halfway.

"I will strive to be a better person and the husband and father that my family deserves. For all of those who have supported me over the years, I offer my profound apology."

Tiger seems to have figured out his only way to take this match. America loves to forgive.

Today he's got his red shirt on. For the win.

-- Christie D'Zurilla

Photo: Tiger gets his red shirt on during the Australian Masters last month. He won. Credit: Andrew Brownbill / Associated Press.

The story thus far, courtesy of the Ministry of Gossip:

A ticket for Tiger Woods, another attorney and another 'other woman,' Jaimee Grubbs?

PREACH IT! Hey Tiger? Gonna take a Big Bertha to your plea for privacy

PREACH IT! And Leslie Looked Upon the Ministry Readers, and She Saw That She Was Good (an introduction to Ms. Gornstein and her mission)

'Overwhelmed' Rachel Uchitel hires celebrity attorney Gloria Allred

Tiger Woods' charmed life may be feeling the squeeze

Tiger Woods says 'all my fault,' praises wife, hires attorney

Tiger Woods, his wife, that odd little car accident -- and Rachel Uchitel

Tiger Woods slightly injured in accident near his home


A ticket for Tiger Woods, another attorney and another 'other woman,' Jaimee Grubbs?

Tigersign
The hits just keep on coming. First, the Florida Highway Patrol has given Tiger Woods a ticket for careless driving. With a penalty of $164 and four points against his record, we're guessing he'll recover from that.

He's not recovering well enough from his car-accident injuries, however, to play this coming weekend in his charitable Chevron World Challenge -- he backed out of the tournament Monday.

And while Rachel Uchitel, with Gloria Allred's help, says she had nothing to do with the golfer, US Weekly is introducing us to Jaimee Grubbs, an L.A. cocktail waitress and reality TV flash in the pan who's alleging a little more than "nothing" since 2007. And Grubbs says she has pictures and text messages to back it up. TMZ says there's a Nov. 24 voicemail recording too.

Meanwhile, Tiger's neighbors the Adams family (we're not making that up) have hired their own lawyer to speak on their behalf about what they saw or didn't see last Friday.

The clear winner in the situation so far? Graeme McDowell.

Just click it

-- Christie D'Zurilla

Photo: Talk about a sign of the times -- an image of Tiger Woods hangs in front of the 18th green during the preview of his Chevron World Challenge at Sherwood Country Club in Thousand Oaks on Nov. 30, 2009. Tiger won't be there this weekend. Credit: Harry How / Getty Images.

Some ideas the Ministry of Gossip has been kicking around lately:

PREACH IT! Hey Tiger? Gonna take a Big Bertha to your plea for privacy

PREACH IT! And Leslie Looked Upon the Ministry Readers, and She Saw That She Was Good (an introduction to Ms. Gornstein and her mission)

'Overwhelmed' Rachel Uchitel hires celebrity attorney Gloria Allred

Tiger Woods' charmed life may be feeling the squeeze

Tiger Woods says 'all my fault,' praises wife, hires attorney

Tiger Woods, his wife, that odd little car accident -- and Rachel Uchitel

Tiger Woods slightly injured in accident near his home

Follow the Ministry of Gossip on Facebook and Twitter (we're @LATcelebs).


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