PREACH IT! Hey! Here's a something-or-other about the Gosselins!

It’s a slow news day; may as well play into Hailey Glassman’s hands.

Never has there been quite a pack of fame addicts quite so egregious as the Gosselins and their various hangers-on and exes. When it comes to manipulating the media into continuous coverage, the whole crew rivals even Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt.

Observe the latest exploits of Glassman, onetime paramour of Jon Gosselin. On Wednesday, she came forth with an allegation so bombshell-y that it could easily lead to some combination of the following: criminal charges for Gosselin, a serious defamation lawsuit against Glassman herself. No matter what, a third outcome is almost certain: at least one week of fresh headlines for all parties involved.

By way of Radar, Glassman has accused Gosselin of trying to extort his ex-wife, perennial reality barnacle Kate Gosselin. According to Glassman, Jon Gosselin threatened to report ...

Hailey Glassman fires parting shots at Jon Gosselin

Jon Gosselin may already be in "love" again. And his most recent ex (ex-girlfriend, not ex-wife) apparently doesn't give a flying snowplow whether Jon's found his dream girl on the snowboarding slopes (Jon does love his snowboarding).

However, she can think of eight other people who might be concerned about a rumored move to Utah -- which we emphasize is only a rumor.

Hailey Glassman tells People magazine, "Congrats to the new girlfriend and I wish [Jon] luck with his move to Utah. I mean, I'm not sure if he remembers he has eight children back in Pennsylvania." She goes on to describe those ex-kids (OK, he does still have some sort of custody) as workers in Jon's "legalized sweatshop," likely a reference to his ex-TV show, "Jon & Kate Plus 8."

Hmm. Did Hailey remember Jon had eight children when they were off together in St. Tropez last summer? Maybe her dad -- Kate's tummy-tuck surgeon, whom we assume could tell his patient has kids --  forgot to mention it?

We're just asking. 

The magazine reports, in its words, that Glassman is "taking the high road" after their relationship fell apart in an ugly way that included conflicts about paying the rent at their ex-apartment.

"I've been through way too much for a 22-year-old, and the amount of stress and pain I've endured is unfathomable," Hailey says.

Oh please. We don't even have to add a joke to make that hysterically funny. 

We're so happy to be an ex-22-year-old.

-- Christie D'Zurilla

Photo: Oh yeah, baby, who wouldn't want a piece of that? It's Jon Gosselin leaving a Pennsylvania court back in October. Credit: Matt Rourke / Associated Press

Good heavens the Ministry has a lot of related Gosselin dispatches:

The hedgehog is dead: Meet Kate Gosselin's new hair

Jon Gosselin's burglary really a publicity stunt?

Jon Gosselin's apartment is burglarized -- and we feel kinda bad for him

Jon Gosselin's apartment burglary really a publicity stunt?

See what happens when we cut a guy a break and feel kinda bad for him? This might turn out to be a case of no more sympathy for you, Jon Gosselin. (Except, of course, from those who hate your ex-wife, Kate Gosselin, but that's another story.)

Was Jon's misfortune over the weekend all a publicity stunt? His ex-girlfriend's lawyer says it was.

Gosselin's Manhattan apartment that he shared with Hailey Glassman was ransacked while he was away visiting his kids for Christmas, and he suspects his ex-girlfriend of the deed. His lawyer says Hailey is "going to jail, it's as simple as that."

Glassman has not been charged with anything, however, so that would probably make the "going to jail" part a little less simple, no?

Hailey admits to writing the note that was spiked onto Gosselin's dresser with a butcher knife -- it wasn't a nice note -- but she says she didn't do the impale-on-a-butcher-knife part or trash the place. (Earlier reports said items had been taken, but that's now unclear.) Her attorney says they believe this is all a PR stunt.

Police noted that reporters began arriving at the precinct house even before they had a chance to interview Gosselin about the destruction of his home, sources told the New York Post:

"How did they know so quickly? No cop could have tipped them -- it was too quick," a source said. "Cops only just found out and they [the media] were already set up outside."

The Ministry knows people whose homes have been burglarized and ransacked, and on top of the financial blow, the psychological damage lasts for years.

If this was faked for publicity, well -- let's just say, what goes around, comes around.

What goes around comes around if it's for real too.

Jon denies it was a stunt.

-- Christie D'Zurilla

Photo: Jon Gosselin leaves a Pennsylvania courthouse, where his divorce battle raged, on Oct. 26, 2009. Credit: Matt Rourke / Associated Press

Looking for more gossip? Click on names in the category cloud on the right (you might have to scroll down a bit) to plunge into the Ministry's archives. C'mon, you know the boss took the post-holiday week off -- walk on the wild side! Uncomfortable with the cloud concept? Then just take some totally nonscientific online polls.

Follow the Ministry of Gossip on Twitter (we're @LATcelebs).  And if you want to become a fan on Facebook, we have a snappy new address: facebook.com/ministryofgossip.

Jon Gosselin's apartment is burglarized -- and we feel kinda bad for him

Jon Gosselin returned home to his Manhattan apartment Saturday afternoon after spending Christmas in Pennsylvania with his eight kids only to discover the place had been ransacked, People reports. 

~~ Shoot, the Ministry returned home Saturday to a serious mess, and we *thought* the place had been ransacked, until we realized we had been just *that* much of a tornado wrapping gifts before leaving for Christmas Eve at the folks' place. Embarrassing. ~~ 

Seriously, though -- normally we have little or no sympathy for Jon minus Kate plus eight, but in this case, we do. His furniture, clothing and bedding had been slashed with a knife. Electronics and more had been stolen, and stuff was broken -- stuff that included a Ming vase, which, sorry, we totally didn't expect Jon Gosselin to own.

Not cool, no matter who you are or what you've done -- even if what you've done is reality TV.

Someone involved apparently thought it would be cute to leave a behind note signed "Hailey Glassman," TMZ reports. Oh yeah, the note was reportedly spiked onto Jon's bedroom dresser with a butcher knife.

Stay classy, creepy unoriginal burglary people ... 

Turkey day with the stars: Come and get it!

While your families are loving and overfeeding you, indulge for a moment in what bold-face names the world over will be up to today as they tuck into their own Thanksgiving dinners.

From January Jones' organic feast to Jon Gosselin's turkey plus one, the Ministry has compiled whereabouts for the your favorite names. Gobble gobble!

• Hilary Duff will dine in Los Angeles with her family, mom Susan and sister Haylie. The popster was spotted this week stocking up on haute cuisine at the swanky Beverly Hills food mart Bristol Farms. 
• "Star Trek" actress Zoe Saldana helped feed the homeless at the Los Angeles Mission's annual Thanksgiving lunch Wednesday.
• Though Beyoncé will probably board a yacht bound for Prague or St. Tropez with Jay-Z this turkey day, she'll technically be in our living rooms with an hourlong ABC special. The 9 p.m. show will feature an interview and concert footage.
• Lacoste spokesman and "Star Wars" prequel star Hayden Christensen will take his fiancee, Rachel Bilson, to Toronto to spend time with his clan.

Read on for more stars' whereabouts!

Jon Gosselin and Hailey Glassman split! Is it 'a break' -- or 'a breakup'?

Jon Gosselin has requested a break from girlfriend Hailey Glassman, "Extra" reports. 

Yes, it was Jon's idea to split. Go figure.

The 32-year-old father of eight (and apparent chick magnet) who filed for divorce from wife Kate Gosselin in June sought advice on his rather complicated situation earlier this week from a panel at a "This World on the Values Network" event.

Panelist Rabbi Shmuley Boteach had this advice for Jon: "We have to raise good kids. As I always say, 'Are you really a success in life if the people who mean most to you think the least of you?' "

Looks as if Jon may have taken those words to heart, at least in the near term.

But moving forward, the Concerned Staff at the Ministry of Gossip has additional advice for Mr. Gosselin: CLICK HERE.

-- Christie D'Zurilla

Photo: Jon Gosselin outside a Pennsylvania courthouse on Oct. 13, 2009. Credit: Matt Rourke / Associated Press.

Girlfriend shocked! Jon Gosselin might have issues?

 

Jon Gosselin takes out his anger on girlfriend Hailey Glassman and, she says, sometimes "has trouble with the truth," People magazine reports. And 22-year-old Hailey says she never saw it coming.

Shoot. If only she could've done some sort of background check before they got serious.

Glassman, in an interview with "The Insider," reportedly uses the faux-tabulous term "mantrums" to describe Jon's behavior. Mantrums.

Holy cows we're having a hard time clearing that word from our short-term memory.

Hailey's two-part interview is set to air beginning Thursday.

-- Christie D'Zurilla

P.S.: Something for Jon to meditate on: Wherever you go, there you are.

Photo: Jon Gosselin -- with a few new acquaintances? -- in an August appearance at the Wet Republic pool at the MGM Grand Hotel/Casino in Las Vegas. Credit: Ethan Miller / Getty Images for Wet Republic.

More on the Gosselin saga from the Ministry of Gossip: 

Kate Gosselin: cartoon character without a husband