Britney Spears' new single: 'Hold It Against Me' (Oh, she *had* to ask ... ) [poll]

Britney Spears wants to know if that's a banana in your pocket, or something like that. At any rate, we're just glad to see her -- with a new single, "Hold It Against Me," out a day early at that.

"Don't #HOLDITAGAINSTME for coming out early. I couldn't wait any longer. Hope you don't mind," Spears said Monday on Twitter. The song is streaming online ahead of its Tuesday release. Her new album is due in March.

Any thoughts on the tune? A sample of lyrics from the chorus:

"If I said I want your body now, would you hold it against me? Cause you feel like paradise, and I need a vacation tonight."

Hey, gotta go, the Ministry's phone is phone's ringing -- we certainly hope it's Britney, calling for Hugh Jass, or perhaps Ben Dover. Or maybe it's just Brittany S. Pierce.

RELATED:

Britney Spears on 'Glee': the 10 best moments [poll]

Birthday girl Britney Spears urges 'liars' to kiss her bum

Lawsuit allegations: Naked Britney Spears wants her Slurpee! Now! [poll]

-- Christie D'Zurilla

Britney Spears inspired Gwyneth Paltrow's 'Country Strong' character

For a character like Gwyneth Paltrow's struggling addict star in "Country Strong," you'd think the source material would be more Winona Judd than Britney Spears. But you'd be wrong.

The once-embattled  Spears served as inspiration for "Country Strong" writer-director Shana Feste, who says the media lifts talent to great heights only to destroy it.

"That's where this movie came from. I mean, I was seeing what was happening in the media to Britney Spears," Feste told the Ministry at a Los Angeles screening of the film.

"I finished the script when Michael Jackson passed away. I think it's tragic how we treat people who give us so much, and we love to see them knocked down to build them back up again, to knock them down again.

"It's a weird fascination."

Do you see Britney's DNA in the Gwyneth drama? Tell us in the comments section below.

RELATED:

Gwyneth Paltrow unveils 'Country Strong' music video

Birthday girl Britney Spears urges 'liars' to kiss her bum

Gwyneth Paltrow, Leighton Meester premiere 'Country Strong' in Nashville

— Matt Donnelly
Twitter.com/MattDonnelly

Top photos: Britney Spears at the Teen Choice Awards on Aug. 29, 2009, left, and Gwyneth Paltrow at her Hollywood Walk of Fame star ceremony on Dec. 13, 2010. Credits: Matt Sayles / Associated Press, left; Jason Merritt / Getty Images, right.

 Left photo: Faith Hill at a screening of "Country Strong" in Beverly Hills on Tuesday. Credit: Mario Anzuoni / Reuters.

Birthday girl Britney Spears urges 'liars' to kiss her bum

Britney Spears is celebrating her 29th birthday by heading off on "a romantic weekend" with beau Jason Trawick -- but not before suggesting that a couple of media outlets and her ex-husband might want to smooch her "lily white southern Lousiana" behind.

The singer's messages -- one addressed to "Star Magazine, Radar Online, Jason Alexander and the rest of you liars" -- went out on her Twitter page Thursday afternoon, the day after Star Magazine and RadarOnline published a report and a recording of a phone call purported to be Spears chatting with Alexander (that'd be her childhood friend and first husband Jason Alexander -- you may recall their storybook 55-hour Vegas marriage in 2004 -- and not the Tony-winning actor and former "Seinfeld" costar Jason Alexander) about a black eye theoretically delivered by agent-turned-boyfriend Trawick.

Spears visited Trawick at the William Morris Endeavor Entertainment offices on Wednesday in what many interpreted as a show of solidarity.

The litany of misdeeds on the audio -- which an expert told TMZ had been "manipulated" to the point of being unidentifiable, and which the Spears camp on Wednesday called "so obviously fake as to be laughable" -- includes references to more than one episode of violence, personal pictures, a story to be appearing in a magazine soon, an alleged abortion and a daddy's shotgun.

Britney Spears' conservatorship stays put

The conservatorship over Britney Spears, which has been in place in one form or another since her January 2008 meltdown, will stay in place a bit longer, TMZ says.

The singer and her father, Jamie, each met with the judge in downtown Los Angeles individually Thursday. Brit, 28, is under two conservatorships, actually -- one for her financial decisions and another for her life decisions. Both are  overseen by Jamie, and Britney's reportedly been given increasingly more say with regard to herself and her two sons.

(Michael Lohan has said recently that he wants a similar situation set up for daughter Lindsay, but who'd be in charge if that happened is anybody's guess. The idea is that a conservator acts in the best interest of the person who needs the assistance.)

-- Christie D'Zurilla

Photo: Britney Spears in an image from 2008's "Britney: For the Record" on MTV. Credit: MTV

Related dispatches from the Ministry of Gossip:

Britney Spears on 'Glee': the 10 best moments [poll]

Lawsuit allegations: Naked Britney Spears wants her Slurpee! Now! [poll]

Britney Spears on 'Glee': the 10 best moments [poll] [updated]

So Britney Spears came to "Glee," blessed the young talent with her biggest hits and crushed the ratings. While our sister blog Show Tracker has the rundown, we have 10 delicious moments relevant to The Ministry that made Tuesday night great.

Read our picks and weigh in with your comments:

10. Brittany S. Pierce: Heather Morris' beyond-flighty Brittany revealed her source of contention with the pop icon: Phonetically they have the same name, and the glee club member must forever live in the other's shadow. But seriously, Morris turned it out. Vocals, dancing, style and swagger -- show creator Ryan Murphy gave new dimension to Morris by simply letting her do her thing. Kudos. 

9. Social reflections on Spears: Thankfully, the writers didn't shy away from Spears in a societal context, underscoring her celebrity as well as her talent in what drives her popularity. After Matthew Morrison's Will Schuester pooh-poohs Spears as a bad role model, Jayma Mays' guidance counselor Emma Pillsbury says it's "admirable the way she's gotten her life back together. I think she's the perfect symbol for the possibility of rebirth."

8. Leave Britney Alone: Gotta love Naya Rivera's shout out to some of Spears' more unhinged fans.

Ready for Britney Spears on 'Glee'? Cast members speak out about the episode

The Britney Spears tribute episode of "Glee" is finally upon us. 

In the few anxious hours before you see the likes of Lea Michele, Heather Morris and Chris Colfer get down to the pop star's song catalog, we offer you cast musings on her arrival at fictitious McKinley High.

Watch the clip above, the click onward for quotes from John Stamos, Naya Rivera, Morris and more about the notorious Spears.

Lawsuit allegations: Naked Britney Spears wants her Slurpee! Now! [Poll]

Britney Spears likes being naked, and having sex in front of people, and having sex where her kids can hear it, and being loud when she's having sex where her kids can hear it -- at least that's what one former part-time security guard is alleging in a lawsuit filed Wednesday in Los Angeles County Superior Court.

Kevin Federline and the Los Angeles County Department of Child and Family Services, however, beg to disagree -- as did Britney in a statement Thursday on her website.

"Ms. Spears and her attorneys have every expectation that this matter will be dismissed by the courts," the statement said.

Fernando Flores is suing Spears and his direct employer, Advanced Security Concepts Corp., for sexual harassment and intentional infliction of emotional distress, seeking unspecified damages. He alleged a few months ago that Brit is a lousy, dangerous mother who beats her kids and feeds them food they're allergic to, though the Department of Child and Family Services investigated and decided that the kids were just fine.

Federline, Spears' ex and the father of Sean Preston and Jayden James -- and who also has custody of the kiddos -- "is satisfied that the allegations are a product of economic motives," his attorney told the Associated Press. "They are as baseless as they seem." In other words, if his kids were in danger, he would've done something about it already, the lawyer said.

Another shocking accusation in the lawsuit -- and one that hits particularly close to home ...

Britney Spears goes anime as Lady Gaga takes Brit's Twitter crown

This week in "Pop Wars: Lady Edition" -- Britney Spears aims at anime-loving hearts, and Lady Gaga expands her cultural reign by dominating Twitter.

After devouring Billboard charts, breaking records for YouTube video views and attending her sister's college graduation wearing this, Gaga has knocked off Britney's Twitter crown, amassing roughly 5,788,000 followers to Spears' 5,720,000 or so.

"Thank you for beginning my reign as Twitter queen," Gaga said in a video to her followers (watch the clip above!). 

"May you always have soft cuticles while tweeting. May you never have carpal tunnel. ... I vow to always tweet and tweet again."

Meanwhile, Spears is angling for another fan market -- she appears on the September cover of Pop magazine, styled as a Japanese bride, shot by artist and frequent fashion collaborator Takashi Murakami.

"I just saw the photos for the first time and they are beautiful," Spears tweeted.

Don't want to make a "Sophie's Choice" between the two blond divas? Fear not. Spears was asked in her interview with Pop about a possible collaboration (before hitting it big, Gaga penned songs for Spears).

"I'm a big fan of hers ... anything's possible!" Spears said.

Are you a loyal subject of Twitter Queen Gaga? Hoping Spears will take back the title? Tell us in comments below.

-- Matt Donnelly

Twitter.com/MattDonnelly

Photo: Takashi Murakami captures Britney Spears for Pop. Credit: @britneyspears / Twitpic

Get the latest Britney Spears and Lady Gaga headlines.

---

Clicking on Green Links will take you to a third-party e-commerce site. These sites are not operated by the Los Angeles Times. The Times Editorial staff is not involved in any way with Green Links or with these third-party sites.

---

Britney Spears tweets her 'Glee' -- literally

Looks like the fictional McKinley High featured in "Glee" is in full Britney Spears glory, thanks to a sweet tweet from the pop star this week.

"Had so much fun on set today. My new BFF’s," Spears said, captioning the above photo of herself, creator Ryan Murphy and star Heather Morris.

Set design and costume choices indicate that Spears and Morris were taping a send-up of the singer's 2003 collaboration with Madonna, "Me Against the Music."

Then there's another Spears tweet, not as transparent, saying, "All my GLEEKERS in ...

Courtney Love plus Britney Spears equals Lady Gaga?

Lady Gaga played Staples Center in Los Angeles on Wednesday, and we couldn't help but be reminded of two other lady singers who've dominated headlines in the past.

Do you see it?

Gaga, incidentally, is still in Los Angeles for another show Thursday night. Please, share your thoughts in comments.

-- Christie D'Zurilla

Left photo: Courtney Love at Beverly Hills Superior Court in February 2004. Credit: Brian VanderBrug / Los Angeles Times

Center photo: BritneySpears at the MTV Movie Awards in Las Vegas in September 2007. Credit: Kevin Winter/ AFP/Getty Images

Right photo: Lady Gaga at Staples Center in Los Angeles on Wednesday. Credit: Jason Merritt / Getty Images

Related dispatches presented by the Ministry of Gossip:

Photo gallery: Lady Gaga fans at Staples Center

Photo gallery: Lady Gaga, by the numbers

Gaga Wisdom: Words from the Lady, Part 4 (with links to parts 1-3)

Check out the Ministry's jam-packed Lady Gaga archives.

---

Clicking on Green Links will take you to a third-party e-commerce site. These sites are not operated by the Los Angeles Times. The Times Editorial staff is not involved in any way with Green Links or with these third-party sites.

---