Artie Lange: Return to Howard Stern's show would be 'the greatest,' but it's an 'awkward situation'

This post has been corrected. Please see the note below for details.

Artie Lange says returning to "The Howard Stern Show" would be "the greatest thing ever," but he also acknowledges the difficulty of the situation.

"Listen, I was on the greatest show of all time for about nine years, and I put them in a very awkward situation, to say the least," he told a caller this week during an appearance on Fox Sports Radio with fill-in host Nick Di Paolo, who like Lange is a stand-up comic. "So what am I gonna do?"

Lange hasn't been on the Stern show since December 2009, before a January 2010 suicide attempt in which he stabbed himself repeatedly with a knife. His mother found him bloody in his Hoboken, N.J., apartment and called 911 in time to save his life.

Stern told Rolling Stone earlier this year that Lange had offered to come on the show to explain what happened, but the talk-show star seemed reluctant to accept the offer.

"I don't even feel strong enough within myself or that I'd be doing the right thing by him, because I don't want to do the wrong thing for Artie," Stern said, adding, "I just want Artie to stay alive."

Lange returned to the stand-up stage last September with a performance in New York.

"I love them all, and they were great to me," Lange said Wednesday about the Stern team. "I appreciate that."

For the record, 9 a.m. July 15: This post originally misspelled comic Nick Di Paolo's last name as DiPaulo. Thanks to commenter Dan Heckel for flagging the error. A link to Di Paolo's website, which has audio of the full three-hour interview, also has been added.

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-- Christie D'Zurilla
Twitter.com/dzurillaville

Photo: Archive image of Artie Lange.

Howard Stern contract comes on anniversary of last Artie Lange appearance [poll]

The new Howard Stern contract was big news Thursday, and also a reminder that the Sirius XM radio show doesn't happen in a vacuum. As fans on sites such as Save Baby Gorilla are pointing out, it's also been one year since sidekick Artie Lange last appeared on Stern's radio show.

A few days after that Dec. 9, 2009, show, fans would learn that Sirius management had asked the comic to "take some time off" -- then on Jan. 3, he attemped suicide by stabbing himself, but was found by his mother in time for doctors to save his life. At the time, Stern squashed rumors that Artie had quit the show.

Lange, who has struggled over the years with substance abuse, returned to the New York stand-up comedy stage in September. (Coincidentally, it was the same weekend comic Greg Giraldo was hospitalized in New Jersey for an overdose of prescription medication. Giraldo died days later.) Lange, who currently has no show dates on his calendar, recently put his Toms River, N.J., home up for sale for $3.5 million, according to the Wall Street Journal. 

Whether Artie returns to the Stern show is uncertain, but the new contract definitely means there's a bigger window of opportunity. Thoughts?

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Artie Lange performs in NYC for the first time since his suicide attempt

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Photo: Artie Lange at the "Beer League" premiere in 2006. Credit: Ethan Miller / Getty Images

Artie Lange performs in NYC for the first time since his suicide attempt

Comedian Artie Lange, the Howard Stern sidekick who in January attempted suicide by stabbing, was on stage performing this weekend in New York City for the first time since nearly dying, the TMR Zoo reports.

On Stern's show Monday morning, comic Craig Gass said Lange looked great at the Comedy Cellar, did well and even included some material about his time in the psych ward after the suicide attempt, TMR Zoo says. Gass posted a picture taken with Lange on his Twitter feed and Facebook page.

Lange, who has struggled with addiction over the years, self-inflicted six deep wounds and three shallow ones using a 13-inch kitchen knife, the Jersey Journal reported; he was found by his mother at 9:28 a.m. Jan. 2.

— Christie D'Zurilla

Photo: Artie Lange on April 27, 2006, in New York. Credit: Stuart Ramson / Associated Press.

Related dispatches from the Ministry of Gossip:

Report: Artie Lange attempted suicide by stabbing himself

Artie Lange hospitalized; Howard Stern addresses the 'Artie quit the show' rumor

 

Artie Lange suicide attempt confirmed by police

Comedian Artie Lange, who was hospitalized over the weekend, did indeed attempt suicide by stabbing himself, police confirmed to the Jersey Journal on Thursday.

Howard Stern lifted his self-imposed ban on discussing his sidekick's suicide attempt, saying Thursday on his broadcast that when he heard the news, it was "too much to bear."

"I was surprised and glad that Artie's situation had been kept quiet.... I'm angry about it, I'm sad about it. I don't know what to think," Stern said. "I'm all over the place emotionally."

Lange is out of the hospital; an attendant in the lobby of the comic's apartment said he saw him heading out from home on an errand Thursday. Neighbors' reaction to the news was mixed, as were the comments on our Thursday post  (Ministry comments -- not that it's a scientific measure in any way -- leaned toward tough-but-sympathetic, with a few that were critical; some of the nastiest couldn't be published because we don't do profanity).

[For the record, 11:32 a.m., Jan. 9:  Earlier versions of this post had incorrect time elements regarding when Howard spoke about Artie. The comments were made on Stern's Thursday broadcast; Stern's website includes Howard talking about Artie in its Friday show "best of" roundup.]

The Ministry is of the mind that comedy comes from pain. Lange seemed to echo the idea that comics aren't perfect people -- by far -- in an interview he gave to the New York Post in early December, published online today. He invoked the names of Richard Pryor and Sam Kinison, in addition to Chris Rock, Norm Macdonald, Jerry Seinfeld and Dane Cook.

Report: Artie Lange attempted suicide by stabbing himself

A violent suicide attempt is what landed Howard Stern sidekick Artie Lange in the hospital over the weekend, the New York Post reports.

His mother, Judy Lange, who was dropping off food, found him bloody in his Hoboken, N.J., apartment Saturday morning and called 911, sources told the Post's Page 6. Despite Lange's heavy bleeding from nine self-inflicted wounds -- six "hesitation" cuts and three deep -- surgeons were able to save him.

On Monday, Stern did not discuss details of Lange's hospitalization -- respecting the family's wishes -- reminding listeners of his contributions and setting listeners straight on an Internet rumor that the 42-year-old was off the show.

Sad situation; we wish Artie and his family the best.

-- Christie D'Zurilla

Photo: Artie Lange on June 16, 2006, in Las Vegas. Credit: Ethan Miller / Getty Images.

Related dispatch from the Ministry of Gossip:

Artie Lange hospitalized; Howard Stern addresses the 'Artie quit the show' rumor

Here at the Ministry, we worry, you know? Check out all the dispatches from our Office of Celebrity Health and Wellness.

Follow the Ministry of Gossip on Facebook and Twitter (we're @LATcelebs). Find us on Facebook at our snappy new address, facebook.com/ministryofgossip.

Artie Lange hospitalized; Howard Stern addresses the 'Artie quit the show' rumor

Radio sidekick Artie Lange was hospitalized over the weekend in New Jersey, E! Online reports, after being absent from Howard Stern's show for most of December.

"We can confirm that Artie is in the hospital," the stand-up comic's representatives said in a statement. "Artie has chosen to keep all information on this matter between him and his doctor. There will be no further comment." A number of Lange's stand-up shows have been canceled.

On the Stern show Monday, Howard and Robin Quivers didn't offer any details about the condition of their cohort -- who has had substance abuse issues -- saying they would respect the wishes of Lange's family regarding comments. 

But Stern did dismiss Internet rumors that Lange had quit the show and that stand-up comic/radio host/Goat Boy Jim Breuer was going to replace him.

"Absolutely false," Stern said. "I don't know where that comes from."

Well, we have an idea: Seems the rumor sprang up online when someone heard a rerun of a 2008 Breuer interview from after when Artie walked off the Stern show that April.

No wonder some of the messages posted online made Howard "want to vomit."

Always wise to check the expiration date on that carton of Internet rumors before drinking deeply of the contents, yes?

-- Christie D'Zurilla

Photos: Artie Lange, top, on June 16, 2006, in Las Vegas at a premiere of "Beer League." Howard Stern, left, on March 20, 2008. Credits: Ethan Miller / Getty Images, top; Evan Agostini / Associated Press.

The Ministry of Gossip, we worry, you know? Check out more dispatches from our Office of Celebrity Health and Wellness -- or heck, just skip right to the one about Jessica Simpson and ear candling.

Follow the Ministry of Gossip on Facebook and Twitter (we're @LATcelebs). Find us on Facebook at our snappy new address, facebook.com/ministryofgossip.