Anderson Cooper picks on Snooki for being Snooki
All the people who are paying Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi to be Snooki have been added to Anderson Cooper's "Ridiculist."
"Snooki is one impossibly lucky, unusually spunky, freakishly tan, beer-guzzling, juicehead-hugging, muscle-loving, Botero body, pint-sized moneymaking machine," Cooper said Tuesday on his CNN show, "Anderson Cooper 360.° (Watch the full rant above.)
News that she and her castmates are reportedly collecting $100,000 per episode for the fourth season of "Jersey Shore" prompted Cooper's tirade. He wasn't a fan of Snooki making $32,000 for her appearance at Rutgers University -- $2,000 more than author Toni Morrison -- or that she got paid $25,000 for club appearances. Guess he didn't realize the guidette was also getting her own spin-off.
He put the club fee less than delicately as the "Show Up and Throw Up Fee."
"$25,000 to show up and hopefully throw up because frankly if you go to a club to see Snooki, that's really all you want to see," he said.
The host played montages of Snooki sensibilities and compared her literature to Morrison's.
"Any juicehead will get some nut shrinkage. And bacne," he quoted from Snooki's book "A Shore Thing."
But the comments didn't seem to faze the pickle-loving meatball.
"Every1s askin me about Mista Anderstand Cooper. He called me freakishly tan AND I'm lucky? Gotta love this man! ..." she tweeted.
Word on the street is that the silver-haired fox himself hobnobs with the likes of "D-Lister" Kathy Griffin and Atlanta Housewife NeNe Leakes, and is a self-proclaimed reality television fan.
So, does anyone feel kind of bad for the Snooks that she was singled out for his diatribe instead of other absurdly popular reality stars like Kim Kardashian or Heidi Montag? Tell us in comments.
— Nardine Saad