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Top 10 requirements to be Charlie Sheen's #TigerBloodIntern intern

Charlie Sheen needs an intern, here are the Ministry's requirements Charlie Sheen needs an intern because he's a busy guy, even when he's out of work.

He's live-streaming, he's calling in to radio shows, he's doing interviews and he's filing a $100-million lawsuit against Chuck Lorre and Warner Bros. On top of that, he's juggling this whole crazy social media thing and probably can't handle overnight mega-popularity on Twitter on his own, so he needs all the help he can get. The former "Two and a Half Men" star even partnered with internships.com to find a "winning" candidate.

"I'm looking to hire a #winning INTERN with #TigerBlood," he tweeted (earning a five-figure paycheck too, for what Ad.ly told the Wall Street Journal was its most costly sponsored celebrity tweet to date).

So those who are brandishing resumes packed with Ivy League schools and highly coveted work experience, there are a few slightly unorthodox skills they should consider including in their resumes (besides social media skills and deciphering his ramblings). Without further ado ...

Charlie Sheen during Sheen's Korner episode No. 3 The Top 10 requirements for Charlie Sheen's intern

10. Must be willing to babysit the boss's children, 24-year-old goddess girlfriends and likely the boss.

9. Must have clean-up crew on speed dial, though the boss likes to polish off the drugs he's started himself, see quote: "I was banging seven-gram rocks, and finishing them, because that's how I roll." However, he's not so great at cleaning up when it comes to trashing hotels with porn stars.

8. Must be able to take verbal abuse, including but not limited to words such as "silly," "troll," "slag pit of redundancy" and possibly anti-Semitic tirades.

7. Must promise to collect any vehicles that have been driven off a cliff, especially if the boss would like to "ride the mercury surfboard" off said literal and figurative cliffs.

6. Must also know how to work troll-made electronics that include features like speakerphone or Web cameras.

5. Must have instant access to T-shirt-printing companies and facilities that would be willing to manufacture golden sombreros. Hey ,the boss has to generate an income somehow.

4. Must have some military experience, specifically dealing with F-18s, torpedoes and bayonets. Must know the meaning of, "We are at war. Defeat is not an option."

3. Must not be allergic to felines, specifically tigers, as that is the type of blood the boss has pumping through his veins. 

2. Must not be afraid of loud noises or constant use of the onomatopoeic word "boom."

1. Must have a working knowledge of the legal system and possible psychological training. Public relations expertise also welcome.

If you think you have these qualities, contact @charliesheen because you are, duh, winning!

RELATED:

Photos: Things Charlie Sheen has claimed to be

Charlie Sheen is fired -- bring on the moral turpitude!

Charlie Sheen approves of Rob Lowe -- what a relief *that* must be

-- Nardine Saad
twitter.com/NardineSaad

Photo: Charlie Sheen during the third installment of "Sheen's Korner." Credit: Ustream.tv.

 

 

 
Comments () | Archives (9)

This is me!

I Could totally to this Job! Hit me up Charlie. I can start tommorow

I could toatlly do this Job. Hit me up charlie I can start tommorow

I'll do it for free for 1 year if he acts in my film.

This is my calling...no question im ur man

Christie D'Zurilla here from MOG with a gentle reminder that in general we don't publish comments that include links or personal contact information.

Those interested in applying for the internship should not attempt to do it in comments here. I mean, you *can*, but we have nothing to do with the job.

Thanks.

//cdz

mr sheen mr sheen is there anything you possibly cant clean you cleaned up media chuck and the wb too now could you possibly clean up smoe of my problems too
see my daughter has a disabilty
the docs are lost for answers
and a possible cash donation might just help her chances.

im a winner i never give i cant give up and i wont give up.

please mr sheen charlie im proberly not the right person for the job but please find it in your heart to help me fight for a better life for her. ive got the tiger blood i fight for i dont give up i cant give up fighting for my daughters life and will continue my fight for many more and right now im fighting for your help. im am ligit check me out, i can supply any information u need, please contact me, kind regards for you and your family.

from another winner

yo chuck, charles-mr sheen, wow woe, platoon bro stellar.
i could give you alot of text but look here--
when all eyes are on me i try 2 keep cool.
your style is sweet, you need to protect it.
some times i need to flush my system out no doubt.

call me:

architect draftsmen sportsman experimentalist
RESPECTABLE IN JAMAICA ANTIGUA AND ST. LUCIA
well i had fun there. check me out

I got this I wanna assist u in winning !!!! I am in the culinary business can't help with legal but can bake and cook And take care of unhand the girls


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