Charlie Sheen is fired — bring on the moral turpitude!
Charlie Sheen was fired Monday from "Two and a Half Men," Show Tracker reports, with the production company saying only, "After careful consideration, Warner Bros. Television has terminated Charlie Sheen’s services on 'Two and a Half Men' effective immediately."
The letter of termination sent by attorney John W. Spiegel to Sheen's lawyer, however, pretty much reads like the best celebrity blog post ever, leading off with a statement likely to draw a "Duh! Winning!" response from the actor in question: "Your client has been engaged in dangerously self-destructive conduct and appears to be very ill."
TMZ has the letter, which in 11 pages of awesomeness cites the points in Sheen's contract his bosses contend he has violated, backed up by quotes out of the actor's mouth. For example, saying that he'd come back next season "but not with the turds they have in place" is cited as refusal to work under the terms of his current contract. His public celebration of cocaine use — "I was banging seven-gram rocks, and finishing them, because that's how I roll" — is included in the section mentioning the legal concept of moral turpitude.
Moral turpitude! How often do you get to use that in a sentence?
There are of course the nuts-and-bolts allegations that Sheen had missed rehearsals and can be seen in outtakes not hitting his marks and not remembering his lines — plus the dude lost about 20 pounds over the holidays. Aspen, Las Vegas, the Plaza Hotel and that "extremely public divorce from Denise Richards" made the cut, as did the two-day house party that put Mr. Tiger Blood in the hospital in January and sparked his short-lived "in-home rehab" attempt.
Warners' move was "so silly and so transparent and ... it's so juvenile," Sheen told "Access Hollywood" on Monday. "It is the work of infants. It is the work of silly infants and it's just — if this is what it had to come to, to get me out of those silly shirts, then so be it. So maybe I'll wear one, just on the final day when I go and remove all of their bazillions."
Sheen said heard the news via "a text or something. ... It's just deplorable, and they should be ashamed of themselves!”
Um, yeah, so back to the letter: Like any good blog post, it has its own "related" material attached: There are 10 pages of links to stories published since Feb. 24 — including the "Sheen's Korner" videos the actor spewed over the weekend. To which we can only say, "#Winning!"
Not shocking, given the vastness of Sheen's recent PR strafing runs, is the fact that even a 10-page list isn't long enough to capture the full extent of the mayhem: There's no mention of the "Saturday Night Live" parody "Duh! Winning! With Charlie Sheen," and we were saddened to find the Ministry's coverage missing from the fun. In the interest of boosting your personal turpitude level, we've included those links below, along with the "SNL" video."
As for the interview remix at the top — try getting that out of your head.
— Christie D'Zurilla