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‘Octomom’ Nadya Suleman makes a fetish video; grown man cries

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‘Octomom’ Nadya Suleman has apparently made a fetish video -- and from the clips we just saw, heaven help us, we have to say we just wish she’d done a porno. It would have been less annoying. And might not have had a Rick Dees connection.

Suleman busting out of a tight black corset, unsvelte L.A. radio personality Tattoo in a droopy adult diaper and nonstop adult crying as she whips his big ol’ hairy backside. This video actually could have been made as leverage to get her mortgage-holder to just give her the dang house for free, just so she’d make it stop.

Our kingdom for a groovy synth soundtrack, please, and no baby costume.

Tattoo, a.k.a. David Gonzalez, is the guy who emceed Octomom’s yard sale back in September.

‘It’s rare to find a unique talent like Tattoo who is willing to be attacked by a pack of pit bulls in an effort to increase ratings,’ Rick Dees said Sept. 14 when Gonzalez signed with Dees Entertainment. ‘There are several projects we’re incubating with Tattoo, and he has some amazing ideas.’

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Incubating -- ha, ha, we get it. So how long has this crime against humanity been in the creative queue? And why didn’t we have the option to vote for the pit-bull attack instead?

Also available at Rick.com, in addition to repostings of the pics and videos from TMZ: a lovely recipe for ‘Chef Dees Date Sauce,’ to be ladled over cake while it’s hot. Let’s hope we’re the only ones who looked at that combination of Web pages.

Tattoo had no comment Wednesday when contacted by the O.C. Register. And really, can you blame him? See the video at TMZ, if you’d like. But don’t say we didn’t warn you. And for the love of Western civilization, don’t watch it at work.

P.S. Nadya -- spaghetti arms, dear. Now everyone knows you must throw like a girl.

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-- Christie D’Zurilla

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