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Ryan Reynolds and Scarlett Johansson’s divorce mystery -- solved?*

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How dare Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds get divorced before giving the world at least one perfect offspring! The two say no third party is involved, but we have photographic evidence* that just might suggest otherwise.

Forget any Blake Lively rumors — a quick trip through our archives shows that Sandra Bullock obviously** made her love for ScarJo public months ago when they locked lips in June, as the star of ‘The Blind Side’ star accepted the Generation Award at at the MTV Movie Awards.

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I mean, just look at the way Johansson is staring*** in this photo ...

(Of course, sticklers will most likely continue to believe the couple’s mature, mannered joint statement: ‘After long and careful consideration on both our parts, we’ve decided to end our marriage. We entered our relationship with love, and it’s with love and kindness we leave it.’)

* / ** / *** A disclaimer from The Ministry: We do not actually believe that Sandra Bullock and Scarlett Johannsson are involved in any kind of sapphic relationship leading to the dissolution of either woman’s marriage. But if they were, we’d call upon the famous ‘Seinfeld’ saying: ‘Not that there’s anything wrong with that.’ We do believe the Sandy-ScarJo kiss was meant in pure fun — just as this blog post is.

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After smooching ScarJo, Sandra Bullock would like to go back to normal now

Ryan Reynolds-Scarlett Johansson divorce: A wee peek into their privacy

Ryan Reynolds-Scarlett Johansson split: Who gets ‘The Whale’?

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— Whitney Friedlander


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