PREACH IT! Pictures of a bruised Rihanna: Still news?

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When it comes to celebrity gossip, stories never really die. Just ask Graydon Carter, who keeps putting old dead people on the covers of his magazine. (Now, with Never Before Seen Photos of That Time When Hepburn Stood Next to Swifty Lazar!)

Take the case of Rihanna, who more than a year ago suffered assault via dashboard, care of now ex-boyfriend Chris Brown. That attack has been settled -- Brown has offered at least half a dozen non-apologies, and Rihanna has changed her hair -- but somehow, the story lives on. Why? Not because of any legitimate need to know, but because there are, apparently, new photos.

Well, OK, they’re old photos, but no one has seen them, and that makes them news.

How do we even know there are photos? Because, per Radar Online, someone is shopping them around, of course. The photos were taken while Rihanna was still in the hospital and reportedly show a rainbow of cuts and bruises.

So far, no news outlet has agreed to buy or display the photos, but we’re sure taking bets on who will stoop that low.

-- Leslie Gornstein

Related dispatches from the Ministry of Gossip:

Rihanna’s wax double takes the stage in Washington, D.C.

Chris Brown gets ‘good job’ from probation-status judge

Chris Brown creepy-tweets. Was Rihanna on his mind?