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PREACH IT! Michael Lohan releases statement announcing end of statements

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As of this second, Michael Lohan has agreed to shut up about daughter Lindsay and ex-wife Dina. He put out a press release to that effect this week, swearing an end to media-whoring of all manner and class. Now he’s determined to be the penitent Mary Magdalene of fameballs. He totally pinky swears.

Here are some of the excerpts from his statement, without editing:

After serious thought and conversation last night, with someone who means alot to me. I am making this statement and fully intend on living by it. With all due respect to those who have both gotten on my nerves for reporting things that weren’t true, ( as well as things that were),I want to make a public statement that I will not be commenting on ANYTHING relating to my daughter Lindsay, or ANYTHING my ex wife Dina, or any ‘sources’ related to her, might say. After all the things said and the incidents which have transpired, I realize that no matter how wrong or right I may have been, at the end of the day, I was wrong for offending my ex wife and my children. Because of the spotlight and scrutiny we have been under, as well as my own ‘pride’, which has caused pain to my mother, (deceased father), brother, sisters and their sibling, I realize how my statements and actions have had a ripple effect on all of them. And NO MATTER what accusations, lies or conjecture are disseminated to the public,about me, for the sake of the ones I love and with hope of creating peace, I WILL NOT respond, in ANY way, to what is said or done, to me.

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So, is it us, or does papa Lohan look like the Situation had a baby with Cecil Turtle a little bit? We can discuss that now, right?

-- Leslie Gornstein

Related dispatches from the Ministry of Gossip:

PREACH IT! Yes, Jimmy McMillan, the rent is too high indeed [poll]

PREACH IT! Seal Levi Johnston’s future! Right here! Right now! You betcha! [video, poll]

PREACH IT! Team Lohan: No probation, no jail, no problem

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