Lawsuit allegations: Naked Britney Spears wants her Slurpee! Now!
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Britney Spears likes being naked, and having sex in front of people, and having sex where her kids can hear it, and being loud when she’s having sex where her kids can hear it -- at least that’s what one former part-time security guard is alleging in a lawsuit filed Wednesday in Los Angeles County Superior Court.
Kevin Federline and the Los Angeles County Department of Child and Family Services, however, beg to disagree -- as did Britney in a statement Thursday on her website.
‘Ms. Spears and her attorneys have every expectation that this matter will be dismissed by the courts,’ the statement said.
Fernando Flores is suing Spears and his direct employer, Advanced Security Concepts Corp., for sexual harassment and intentional infliction of emotional distress, seeking unspecified damages. He alleged a few months ago that Brit is a lousy, dangerous mother who beats her kids and feeds them food they’re allergic to, though the Department of Child and Family Services investigated and decided that the kids were just fine.
Federline, Spears’ ex and the father of Sean Preston and Jayden James -- and who also has custody of the kiddos -- ‘is satisfied that the allegations are a product of economic motives,’ his attorney told the Associated Press. ‘They are as baseless as they seem.’ In other words, if his kids were in danger, he would’ve done something about it already, the lawyer said.
Another shocking accusation in the lawsuit -- and one that hits particularly close to home ...
... for connoisseurs of all things sweet, chilly and brightly colored -- involves a trip to the movies, a request by the pop star for a slurpable frozen beverage, the news that arrival of said beverage would take 15 minutes, and a LOT OF SCREAMING WHEN THAT HORRIBLE NEWS WAS DELIVERED. The screaming is alleged to be along the lines of ‘I’d like my gosh darn Slurpee right now thank you very much kind, sir, if you’d like to keep your job,’ only with more cussing. (The Ministry is shocked that the alleged outburst, reported to have occurred at the Arclight theater in Hollywood, was not captured on cellphone video by someone, anyone, and immediately uploaded -- much like Federline’s attorney noted Flores’ lawsuit had been, in advance of it being filed.)
Flores was hired in February and lasted only a few months in the job; on July 1 he filed a complaint with the state’s Department of Fair Employment and Housing, requesting the right to sue.
-- Christie D’Zurilla
Related dispatches from the Ministry of Gossip:
Britney Spears goes anime as Lady Gaga takes Brit’s Twitter crown
Britney Spears tweets her ‘Glee’ -- literally
Courtney Love plus Britney Spears equals Lady Gaga?
Britney Spears discusses the birds and the bees (or not)
Britney Spears releases untouched photos, reveals slightly bigger tush and...bruised legs?
