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PREACH IT! Snooki's life is so romantic I feel dead inside

Snooki-leaves-jail My heart broke as I scanned around the online tabloids Monday and learned this: Jeff Miranda, boyfriend of "Jersey Shore" star Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi, has proposed. He did so via the magazine Steppin’ Out, which, in the past year, has featured cover stars including Hailey Glassman, Tila Tequila and Kevin Federline.

When I first saw this story, a fierce, almost uncontrollable jealousy leapt within me, like Sammi after too many mai tais. When my husband proposed to me several years ago, he did so on a moonlit beach on Maui, by an isolated bench that caught the gentle sea breeze, after a quiet alfresco dinner for two.

Did my husband even think of trumpeting his love while dressed in nothing but a pair of military fatigues and a hat on the cover of the No. 1 juicehead publication on Earth?

No. No he did not. Why can’t I get romance like that? On a more hopeful note, I suppose it's nice that Miranda-style chivalry isn’t totally dead.

Snooki, for her part, has not commented on the proposal.

-- Leslie Gornstein

Photo: "Jersey Shore" cast member Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi leaves the local police department after being detained on July 30, 2010, in Seaside Heights, N.J. She was charged with disorderly conduct after other beachgoers reported she was bothering them. Credit: Bradley J. Penner / Asbury Park Press / Associated Press

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