PREACH IT! Harsh Lady Justice wants Lindsay Lohan to stay pale and lonely

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Poor Lindsay Lohan.

First she has to sit in a cell by herself while the rest of the Lynwood prison population bonds over bologna sandwiches and overcrowding. And now Lohan has learned that as soon as her jail sentence ends, she must -- get this -- go straight to rehab.

No celebratory bar-hopping, no shopping for new leggings -- not even a quick tan. And the tanning people, like, really miss her! What is wrong with the justice system in this country?

And who is this Marsha lady in the black robe who thinks she can just judge Lindsay whenever she wants? Like she’s so perfect.

Anyway. Lohan’s lawyer, Shawn Chapman Holley, says she’ll ask the judge to grant Lohan some time to party spend with her family before heading to rehab.

Question is, should she get it? Let’s all put on our black robes and get judgy!

-- Leslie Gornstein