Jesse James on his affairs: 'It was me trying to self-sabotage my life'

It finally happened. The highly anticipated -- or highly despised, for some -- episode of "Nightline" featuring Jesse James aired Tuesday night. (Seriously, has there been this much hype surrounding a "Nightline" episode in recent memory?)

In it, James said he was the victim of abuse as a child and attributed the shame he felt from that to be the driving force that led him to cheat on future ex-wife Sandra Bullock. 

"I was a terrorized kid," James, 41, said about the abuse he received from his father. "I was petrified of my dad.… It wasn't so much getting the ... beat out of me or getting my arm broken or getting kicked or whatever or punched, it was the in-between time. It was the fear of that happening again." 

James said the abuse memories returned during his stint in rehab. 

“My whole childhood, I never had a chance to be a kid.… I was always scared." 

In an e-mail to ABC News, Larry James said his son's allegations of abuse were not true.

As a result of his low self-esteem, Jesse said, his mind rationalized cheating with thoughts of: “'Well, you know, I might as well do whatever I can to, like, run her off, 'cause she is going to find out what I am anyway and leave me anyway." 

And though he "knew it was horrible" to cheat on his wife, he said it wasn’t enough to stop his actions.

"I knew I would get caught eventually, and I think I wanted to get caught. I don't think, I know for a fact now what it was. It was me trying to self-sabotage my life," he said. "I think I do a lot of things in my life that I shouldn't be doing that aren't conducive to being a perfect husband, you know, and the affairs are just one of them."

What did you think of the interview?

-- Yvonne Villarreal

Photo: Vicky Mabrey interviews Jesse James for "Nightline." Credit:  Patrick Wymoren / ABC / Associated Press

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Comments

[Grace]

Jesse James is an idiot (just like Tiger Woods) they don't deserve the wives they have. Shame on you Mr. James, you know better. How could you hurt Ms. Bullock. Everyone could see how much she loved you.

[Ray]

Jesse is human and as humans we make mistakes. We all do things before we think. Jesse just try to learn from it and move on. Don't dwell on it just get better as a person. All will be better in time.

[Tee]

There's worse things than extramarital affairs. It happens. Sandra is an awesome, talented woman - but she's just a woman - not a saint. Just because everyone adores her doesn't make James a bigger scumbag than when it happens to regular folks.

If there's enough love in the marriage - 2 people can get through just about anything together. Geez. People need to lighten the heck up.

And what the heck does this have to do with Tiger Woods??? Get over it!

[Logan]

This guy really thinks he can play the pity card?!

[Disappointed in Jesse]

Quit the BS Jesse. You have shown the world who you are. Live with that. What you did to Sandra was unconscienable but hey we all know now that you have no conscience. You are disgusting and unredeemable.

[Bob P]

I hope he finds help and happiness. It is a sad story.

[Renee C]

Amen Grace! He knew what he was doing. None of what he said excuses him from his actions. You don't cheat on your wife because you were abused as a child. How does that make ANY sense? It would make sense to be abusive to her since that's how you were raised, but to cheat and lie? Shame on you and everyone like you! Sandra deserves MUCH better than you.

[bruce borboa]

aww come on. just like any other fool you blame it on your parents.....WEAK. that just goes to show what an idiot you are. come on....it was Sandra Bullock

[honesty]

what did he learned from abused childhood? to be cheating on his wife.. ridiculous!

[mmc]

I was totally surprised by the man I saw on TV last night.He was soft spoken ,articulate and totally knowing he lost the best part of his life.After watching him I realized that he never believed he was worthy of her.Even though I hate the fact that he cheated.But look who he cheated with?Women he felt he deserved and who were no better than him. I shed a tear for the childhoods that destroy children and have them growing up to think they can never really be good enough or worthy to be loved by someone as decent as Sandra.

[Karldean]

Cry baby

[ry]

It doesn't matter what happened to you as a child, get over it. There are people out there that have gone through worse and have made wise decisions. Jesse James, stop feeling sorry for yourself and just say, I was wrong. No need for excuses.

[Garden Edging]

It's a sad story but still no excuse for what he did. He's not a good man. Real men, at the very least, take responsibility for their actions. Still, a better option would be to use your brain before you do something stupid several times.

[Susan]

Excuses are cheap, life is real. Take charge of who you are, if you still have to blame others you don't get it. It can always be someone elses fault. You have children counting on you and all you can talk about is "I" obviously the only back you ever had was your own.

[J Pfeiffer]

Sandra has shown the extreme grace in this horrible situation. She deserved a moment to “savor her moment" of achievement earning the Oscar. Sandra had just proudly shared with Barbara Walters that “for the first time in her life, she was with a man who . . . had her back." What a huge disappointment for not only her, but for the world.

It takes courage to move forward, honor one's self, maintain dignity in the face of pathetic shame on the spouses part.

I loved Sandra in the role of "The Blind Side." She was so inspiring. She is now inspiring as she is the cream rising to the top. Thank you Sandra for mentoring other women to “take a stand” and say “no.” Your new son Louis is precious and darling! God bless you both forever, we LOVE YOU!

[Harley Class Girl]

Who is anyone to judge? Jesse was 'Man Enough' to tell his side of the possible truth. The Rest of you.., Mind your own business. Perhaps, you need to buy a real 'Sound Machine' and get a life !

[Jester]

I like Jesse even more now. Live up the fame. He has to deal with people following him all the time, he should get something out of being famous. If this would have happened to someone not famous they would still have their wife and girlfriends.