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A Lindsay Lohan timeline -- in case you've had a life till now

May 23, 2010 |  1:19 pm

Lilo-rxn-web 

Lindsay-heathrow-web Lindsay, Lindsay, Lindsay. The lovely and talented Ms. Lindsay Lohan is all over the news, and judging by some comments on this blog, public opinion is not with her.

But there are still those wondering why the judge wasn't willing to cut the actress some slack last week about showing up for her probation hearing -- which says to us that not everyone knows the events leading up to the current debacle

What, do you people have jobs or lives or something? How could you miss this?

That said, here's a bullet-point primer to bring you up to speed in the Lohan chronicles -- at least regarding the current court brouhaha. The family stuff is a whole 'nother story, as is her singing career and work with Sevin Nyne and 6126 leggings.

First, a brief filmography -- not all-inclusive, just titles that ring a bell: "The Parent Trap," 1998; "Freaky Friday," 2003; "Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen," 2004; "Mean Girls," 2004; "Herbie Fully Loaded," 2005; "Bobby," 2006; "Georgia Rule," 2007; "I Know Who Killed Me," 2007; four episodes of "Ugly Betty," 2008.

Now let's dive in at the start of 2006: 

Jan. 4, 2006: Admits eating disorder, some drug use in Vanity Fair interview.

July 26, 2006: Hospitalized for "heat exhaustion"; her boss is not pleased.

Sept. 14, 2006: Hospitalized for fractured wrists; blames Chanel boots.

October 2006: Lots more partying, according to the Bosh.

Nov. 2, 2006: Photographed wearing a red chip associated with participation in ...

Lindsay-2006-web ... a 12-step program. Rep says it belongs to a friend.

Dec. 1, 2006: Mom reveals to Ryan Seacrest that Lindsay's been attending AA meetings, but says her daughter doesn't have a problem, just likes going to the meetings like her friends do.

Dec. 12, 2006: Actress tells People magazine she's been in AA for a year and hasn't had a drink in a week.

Jan. 18, 2007: Checks into rehab.

May 26, 2007: Arrested on suspicion of DUI.

May 29, 2007: Checks into rehab.

July 24, 2007: After a brief car chase, arrested on suspicion of DUI -- wearing an alcohol-detection bracelet on her ankle and, police said, in possession of a small amount of cocaine.

Aug. 23, 2007: Agrees to a deal on both DUI charges, pleading guilty to two counts of being under the influence of cocaine and no contest to driving with a blood alcohol level of .08 or higher, and reckless driving. Sentenced to jail, community service, drug rehab and an 18-month alcohol education program as part of her three-year probation.

Nov. 15, 2007: Spends 84 minutes in jail.

Sept. 24, 2008: Confirms she's been dating DJ Samantha Ronson.

October 2008: Civil lawsuit filed against Lindsay by three people who were in the car during July 24, 2007, DUI arrest.

April 7, 2009: Confirms she's broken up with Ronson.

March 13, 2009: Warrant for her arrest issued regarding possible parole violations (alleged failure to attend counseling).

March 16, 2009: Warrant is recalled after Lindsay's lawyer clears up a "misunderstanding."

Sept. 9, 2009: Named artistic advisor at fashion house Ungaro

Oct. 4, 2009: Ungaro runway show overwhelmingly meets low expectations.

Lindsay-2004-web Oct. 16, 2009: Judge extends probation by one year after Lindsay shows up 90 minutes late to court.

Feb. 22: Admits abusing drugs both legal and illegal and says she's been to rehab three times.

March 8: Reveals she's no longer with Ungaro.

March 9: Sues eTrade over ad in which babies reference "that milkaholic Lindsay."

April 14: Misses deposition related to civil suit; says court-ordered class created a scheduling conflict. Is photographed out shopping.

April 21: Misses second deposition related to civil suit; says she couldn't get a ride to court by 10 a.m. Was photographed at 2:30 a.m. leaving a club.

April 30: Questions are raised about whether Lindsay has violated her probation -- which could mean a trip to jail. At issue: the completion of the required number of alcohol-ed classes.

May 3: Gets an acting job playing porn star Linda Lovelace.

May 4: After partying with her mom until 2:30 a.m., Lindsay shows up for civil-case deposition. Albeit 22 minutes late.

May 13: Reportedly throws a drink at a supermodel during a party in a New York City club.

May 14: Has no way to get to Cannes International Film Festival. 

Later May 14: Scores a ticket to Cannes International Film Festival.

May 15: Does a video interview with Hollywood.tv on her way to the airport. In it, she says she's "off to Cannes to announce the movie," referring to the new flick about Lovelace, and asserts she's "been in compliance more than ever" regarding her traffic school classes. She wishes her dad would "just shut up" and mentions TMZ's "bad karma. TMZ posts the video.

May 16: Arrives in Cannes, France, in the afternoon. Seen later at Colombe d'Or restaurant and at yacht party thrown by a London nightclub.

May 16-18, and beyond: Parties are attended. Pals tweet pics. TMZ has other pics. Lindsay tells Radar three suspicious white lines in one of the pics were a setup.

May 18: Goes to the airport without her passport, which she says has been stolen; isn't allowed to fly.

May 19: In Cannes, says passport theft was an inside job orchestrated by her father

May 20: Gets a new passport. Probation-review court appointment comes and goes; bench warrant is issued for Lindsay's arrest. Terms for staying out of jail include no alcohol, random drug testing at least once a week and wearing an alcohol-monitoring bracelet

Later May 20: Bail is posted; cash was wired from Lindsay's relatively new financial manager in Tennessee, TMZ reports -- a woman who helped Britney Spears get back on track. Warrant is revoked. Court date set for 8:30 a.m. Monday.

Friday: Photographed getting off a yacht in Cannes around 7:30 a.m. local time.

Saturday: Boards a plane in France. Arrives at LAX around 7 p.m.

Sunday: Hey, everybody needs a rest, right?

Coming Monday: Judge Marsha N. Revel will skip a day of vacation to see Lindsay in court at 8:30 a.m. 

"Actions speak louder than words. I've heard the best words in the world, but the actions are far more important," Revel said, according to L.A. Now. "She has a history of not keeping scheduled appointments. ... I couldn't have been more clear about the priority of this case and getting things done."

So there you have it -- and it's exhausting and sad just reading about Lindsay Lohan, yes? Can you imagine living this life? 

Us neither.

-- Christie D'Zurilla

[Updated with additional links at 9 p.m.]

Upper photo: Lindsay Lohan reacts to photographers shouting for her attention as she arrives at Star magazine's Young Hollywood party in Los Angeles on March 31. Credit: Chris Pizzello / Associated Press

Second photo: Lohan leaves London's Heathrow Airport for the U.S. on May 22, Credit: Associated Press

Third photo. Lohan arrives at a cocktail party in Manhattan on June 8, 2006. Credit: Dima Gavrysh / Associated Press

Lower photo: Lohan photographed at Paramount Studios on April 1, 2004, for a portrait to accompany a Los Angeles Times feature story. Credit: Ricardo de Aratanha / Los Angeles Times

Related dispatches from the Ministry of Gossip:

Lindsay Lohan makes bail, freeing up media's Friday morning

None of these dots of light is carrying Lindsay Lohan any closer to court

Hey judge, Lindsay Lohan might be late coming back from France. Little passport problem?

PREACH IT! Yes, Lindsay Lohan has a job and you don't. Get over it.

Lindsay Lohan gunning for role as 'Deep Throat' diva? [poll]

Has Lindsay Lohan violated her probation? That might mean jail

PREACH IT! There are no words to describe the Lohan mess. Or are there?

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