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PREACH IT! Tiger Woods is still a dirty, dirty little boy

Tiger-sand Tiger Woods posted a letter to the fans on his website Friday. Let’s analyze some of the highlights to see how he’s doing out there.

I have to say it felt great to return to competition at the Masters Tournament.

Hooray! Tiger feels great! Hooray!

I received some criticism for bad language, which I apologized for immediately after Saturday's round. It's tough when you're in a competitive environment and in the flow of a tournament.

Tiger cussed! Oh no!

I honestly didn't know what to expect from the fans, but they were absolutely incredible from Monday through Sunday. It was unreal.

Nobody threw a pitching wedge at your head or called you a ho! Awesome!

It also felt great to be in the hunt again, but unfortunately, I didn't have my game.

Wow. Maybe not the best choice in words. Just saying. Moving on.

Tiger-knee Once the tournament came, everything felt normal, and I fell into my old rhythm and routine. I didn't even think about it; it just happened. My body knew what to do.

So many ways we could go with that. We’re gonna let that one go too.

Although it was my first tournament using all V-grooves, it was a seamless transition. I played V-grooves in all my irons except my sand wedges at The Presidents Cup and for the remainder of the year, so it was a pretty easy change.

OK, is it us or is this starting to get a little filthy?

I didn't have much trouble adjusting to the sand wedges because I have the softest ball on the PGA Tour.

Tiger! There are children reading this!

Finally, special thanks to all my fans for their well wishes and support. It means more than you know. Talk to you again soon.

Why, you utterly dirty BEAST -- Oh, wait. I guess that part was wholesome enough. Whelp, thanks for writing home, Tiger. We can see your rehab is totally working great!

-- Leslie Gornstein

Photos: Tiger Woods takes the second of two shots, top, to get out of a dirty, dirty bunker on the second hole during the final round of the Masters golf tournament in Augusta, Ga., on April 11, 2010. And at left, heck, we have no idea what he's doing, but it was going on 11 holes later on the same day  Credits: Chris O'Meara / Associated Press, top; Gerry Melendez / The State / MCT, left.

You never know when our words will take a turn for the dirty, especially if you're wallowing in the Preach It! archives. Want the headlines? Follow the Ministry of Gossip on Twitter (we're @LATcelebs) or become a fan on Facebook at facebook.com/ministryofgossip.

 
Comments () | Archives (5)

This was funny/amusing. But he's just gross.

Tiger Woods appears to be back to his old life, partying with his enabler buddies and possibly picking up prostitutes everywhere he goes. So much for being a changed man and going back to Buddhism! The man is such a despicable hypocrite! It is evident that his act of contrition and repentance was all a big show to attract the sympathy of sponsors and fans! Tiger is a hideous human being and a shameless, pervert adulterer with a damaged reputation for the rest of his life.

After the divorce...Tiger will return to his nasty ways...film at 11...

Loved this blog!!! Moreover, I love this page!! Keep it comin'.

You without sin cast the first stone. Tiger got caught and he thought he wouldn't. You all have cheated with your eyes and your minds and you know who you are. The women he cheated with are just as guilty, for they also knew what they were doing. Enough of Tiger, let's get on with the problems of the world. We're losing our children to the war and that's more important than cheating men and women. I'm sure Leslie Gornstein can find something or someone else interesting too write about.


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