'There is no sex tape,' Sandra Bullock says
"There is no sex tape," she said in a statement to People on Tuesday. "There never has been one and there never will be one."
Why speak now, and why on this topic? In recent days there have been two reports of note on allegedly "shocking" and "disturbing" sex tapes linked to Bullock and her reportedly back-in-rehab husband, Jesse James.
One outlet -- which we cite from time to time, like in the paragraph above -- alleges the existence of a dozen homemade sex tapes featuring James with other not-his-wife people and an abundance of Nazi-themed props. The other outlet professes detailed knowledge of a tape featuring Bullock and James and -- well, let's just leave it at that.
We read the reports, went "ick" to the former and "OMG ick ick ick that's disgusting to the point of laughable fiction" to the other, and didn't mention either to Ministry readers.
We presume the latter allegation is what moved Bullock to make a statement. Because it's just that disgusting and ridiculous. The person behind it, by the way, is now invoking a unique reason for standing by his sources ...
He says he's the son of a Holocaust survivor "taught to never back down from truth." So he's promising to "march on" to get to the bottom of this "nasty, deceitful affair" for the benefit of an injured public.
Whatever gets you through the night -- and gets those page views.
-- Christie D'Zurilla
Photo: Sandra Bullock at the Vanity Fair party after the Oscars on March 7, 2010. Credit: Rich Schmitt / AFP / Getty Images
Related dispatches from the Ministry of Gossip:
Jesse James buys himself some time -- er, goes to rehab