Prince Frederic von Anhalt, why have you forsaken us???

This article was originally on a blog post platform and may be missing photos, graphics or links. See About archive blog posts.

Just when we thought there was a shred of hope left for California -- the unthinkable hits.

The secretary of state’s office has released its certified list of candidates for the June gubernatorial primary and -- shocking shock! -- Prince Frederic von Anhalt, a.k.a. Mr. Zsa Zsa Gabor, isn’t on it.

~~ Insert super-shocked face here. Followed by super-sad face. Followed by ‘What’s next on TV?’ face. ~~

And we had such confidence that Von A’s affection for legalizing vice and taxing it would be the magic that got this wacky state back on track. It made perfect sense that it was ‘time for a GERMAN-AMERICAN to lead the state.’ We wanted to believe that the man who told us he fathered Anna Nicole Smith‘s baby would tell us that Daddy was home and everything was going to be better soon.

California needed a governor who fully and publicly supported the use of Viagra.

Alas, it’s back to the drawing board, kids. [Updated at 9:37 a.m.: Or maybe it’s not! Wipe away those tears and read below!] Psst -- nobody rush to tell the pro-pot voters, OK? Let them enjoy the moment just a bit longer.

[Updated at 9:37 a.m.: We Californians can cling to our shred of royal hope just a bit longer -- commenter Richard Winger points out that this list is only for the partisan primaries in June, and that as an independent candidate, Von Anhalt is not involved. Which clearly changes everything about the prince’s gubernatorial run.]

-- Christie D’Zurilla

Lonely, sad little related dispatch from the Ministry of Gossip:

First Lady Zsa Zsa Gabor? Her husband the prince is running for California governor

And other dispatches of a semi-political nature:

Maria Conchita Alonso goes off on Sean Penn for supporting Hugo Chavez Kathy Griffin rallies her troops to nuke ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’

The Rielle Hunter video -- from her GQ photo shoot

Rielle Hunter upset about photos with her GQ interview

Jay-Z, Beyonce get a White House visit with Obama

White House invites ‘Glee’ cast to sing at Easter Egg Roll; Shakira stops by to visit

‘I’ve Had It’: Elizabeth and John Edwards legally separate

The JFK photo that could have changed history -- if it were really *him* with those naked ladies

Looks as if Sen.-elect Scott Brown is going to be fun!

Nobel concert host Will Smith is a bit excited about this Barack Obama fellow

Want the headlines? Follow us on Twitter (we’re @LATcelebs) and become a fan on Facebook.