Prince Frederic von Anhalt, why have you forsaken us??? [Updated]
Just when we thought there was a shred of hope left for California -- the unthinkable hits.
The secretary of state's office has released its certified list of candidates for the June gubernatorial primary and -- shocking shock! -- Prince Frederic von Anhalt, a.k.a. Mr. Zsa Zsa Gabor, isn't on it.
~~ Insert super-shocked face here. Followed by super-sad face. Followed by "What's next on TV?" face. ~~
And we had such confidence that Von A's affection for legalizing vice and taxing it would be the magic that got this wacky state back on track. It made perfect sense that it was "time for a GERMAN-AMERICAN to lead the state." We wanted to believe that the man who told us he fathered Anna Nicole Smith's baby would tell us that Daddy was home and everything was going to be better soon.
California needed a governor who fully and publicly supported the use of Viagra.
Alas, it's back to the drawing board, kids. [Updated at 9:37 a.m.: Or maybe it's not! Wipe away those tears and read below!] Psst -- nobody rush to tell the pro-pot voters, OK? Let them enjoy the moment just a bit longer.
[Updated at 9:37 a.m.: We Californians can cling to our shred of royal hope just a bit longer -- commenter Richard Winger points out that this list is only for the partisan primaries in June, and that as an independent candidate, Von Anhalt is not involved. Which clearly changes everything about the prince's gubernatorial run.]
-- Christie D'Zurilla
Photo: Frederic von Anhalt arrives at Film Independent's Spirit Awards in Los Angeles on March 5. Credit: Frazer Harrison / Getty Images
Lonely, sad little related dispatch from the Ministry of Gossip:
And other dispatches of a semi-political nature: