PREACH IT! There’s a Team Jesse? And there are people on it besides Jesse?
It didn’t seem possible only a few days ago, but there it is. People -- real live human beings with brainstems and higher functions -- are coming out in support of Jesse James.
One of those people is is Jesse James, yes, but we’ll get to that in a minute.
First, the other people, starting with comedian Russell Brand. At last night’s Victoria’s Secret swim party, Brand was asked what he thought of James and that other pillar of fidelity, Tiger Woods.
“I like them!” he told E! Online. “They seem like nice guys.”
Yes, this is the same Russell Brand who is engaged to Katy Perry and thinks he can stay that way while saying nice stuff about Jesse James.
Anyway. We move on.
James’ employees are also being trotted out, or -- wait, did I just write that? Silly, cynical me. Let’s try that again. James’ employees are coming out, totally on their own without any prodding, to support their boss.
"Jesse is like family," one employee tells People. "He's just a righteous guy. If I have a personal problem, he'll sit and talk to me. Not once have I felt uncomfortable with him ... He's just a sweet guy. Hearing all this stuff about him is just sad. I don't believe any of it."
(Maybe this isn’t a good time to bring up the fact...
Finally, we get to James himself. He is outraged, outraged, that his mistresses (who, at this hour, total four) are leaking details of their liaisons. Take photographer Brigitte Daguerre, who has alleged only a brief affair but quite a number of text messages. Another mistress, Melissa Smith, also shared James’ alleged texts with the planet, triggering the wrath of the Vanilla Gorilla. Smith reportedly got another text from James just this week with this scolding message: "I'm angry at you and disappointed you'd do this."
That’s right. Jesse James. Scolding his mistresses. For having sex with him and then talking about it. The mind, it's boggled.
But for members of Team Jesse, I guess it’s expected of their dear leader.
-- Leslie Gornstein
Photos: Jesse James, top, arrives at the 41st NAACP Image Awards on Feb. 26, 2010, in Los Angeles. Bottom, a look at the merchandise at West Coast Choppers. Feel free to insert your own play on "image" and "merchandise." Credits: Matt Sayles / Associated Press, top; Alan J. Schaben / Los Angeles Times, left.
Related Preach It! goodness from the Ministry of Gossip:
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PREACH IT! We have news on Tiger Woods. You know, that other cheater?
PREACH IT! Does 'Octomom' hate kittens? We'll soon find out [poll]
PREACH IT! This just in: We are old (thanks tons, kids)
PREACH IT! The Jackson family compound: Move along, nothing to see here
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It must make you feel morally superior to sit in judgment of someone's private life. There should be no teams. You think those you go on TV and to magazines talking about affairs have a moral agenda? They're like you: taking advantage of the situation to be paid. Have at it. The LA Times sinks a little lower every day.
Posted by: dan w | Mar 27, 2010 at 10:34 AM
Maybe Tiger and Jesse should start a "cheating guys club"...and Elin and Sandra can start the First Wives Club...har, har...
Posted by: Cisco | Mar 27, 2010 at 11:58 AM
@MKinVa -- Christie D'Zurilla here from the blog. I can't publish your comment 'cause of the cussing, but FYI it totally cracked me up. Especially the part about Jesse James wanting his jacket back.
:)
//cdz
Posted by: CDZ from the Ministry | Mar 27, 2010 at 09:09 PM
Maybe if Sandra would've stayed home more!
Posted by: Dirty Dave | Mar 28, 2010 at 12:37 PM