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PREACH IT! Spencer Pratt, fighting for truth, justice and the American database

March 15, 2010 |  3:34 pm
Speidi Where to begin with this one, where to begin ... Well, this story definitely falls under that extremely necessary MOG category of “There Are No Words.” Maybe we should just stick with the facts. When they’re this amazingly flabbergasting, you really don’t need much else.

People magazine reports that Spencer Pratt -- half of the most media-desperate couple on Earth -- has chosen a new profession. After studying software engineering at USC -- “with a focus on encryption” -- Pratt has announced he’ll work for American Defense Enterprises in its cyber security division.

"Upon learning of President Obama's declaration that the 'cyber threat is one of the most serious economic and national security challenges we face as a nation,' I have decided to refocus my energy and devote my full resources to helping America face this and other unprecedented challenges," he told People in a very not-pre-written statement.

"My new mission is this: To do my part in maintaining the technological superiority of the U.S. military and prevent emerging technologies from threatening our nation's security,” Pratt continues.

That’s right. America can now sleep soundly knowing that Spencer Pratt is at his computer, keeping our e-mail accounts safe.

We’ll leave it at that. Like we said, sometimes there simply are no words.

-- Leslie Gornstein

Photo: In other news, Heidi Montag has gone undercover and joined the air marshals! Oh, we're just kidding -- they were only partying at Santa Monica Airport. And it was last year, when she looked nothing like she does now! Oh, yeah, and when she went by Heidi Pratt instead of Heidi Montag! Witness Spencer Pratt and his pre-surgical wife arriving at Maxim's 10th annual Hot 100 Celebration at Barker Hangar in May 2009. Credit: Jason Merritt / Getty Images.

Related dispatches from the Ministry of Gossip:

Quick hits: Heidi Montag, Sean Hayes, Elton John -- psychics, sexuality, death threats and 'Idol'

Report: Heidi Montag will soap up her after-market mods and show them off in Playboy

Enough about national cyber defense -- naked people are everywhere in Celebrity Land, if you just snoop around for a while! Let the Ministry help you in ways you may never have imagined. It's OK to look just a little.

The Ministry of Gossip loves when famous people open their mouths or take off their clothes. Want the headlines? Follow us on Twitter (we're @LATcelebs) and Facebook.

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