THE REBOUND: A smiley KStew photo gallery inspired by Preach It!
So, yeah, on Thursday our lovely and talented Preach It! columnist Leslie Gornstein shared her observations about Kristen Stewart's often dour red carpet visage.
About five seconds after those observations hit the Interwebs, the space-time continuum ripped and through that Twitter-based rip came dozens of links to smiling KStew pics, hurled like tiny throwing stars in the general direction of the Ministry of Gossip.
So I am about to hurl back a photo gallery in which the lovely and talented Ms. Stewart flashes her pearly whites (or close enough that she is, as Tyra Banks would say, smiling with her eyes).
Let's get a few things clear:
A) Pictures of a smiling Kristen Stewart do exist.
B) It's about 25 times easier -- no lie, people, I do this for a living, trust me, you don't see all the ones that don't run -- to find a non-smiling KStew pic than it is to find the alternative.
C) I don't have a dog in this fight.
D) There actually isn't a fight.
E) I did not just imply Kristen Stewart is a dog.
F) I do have a dog, and he's cute, but that's neither here nor there. He fell asleep during "Twilight," and would fight you only if he really wanted to eat whatever you were eating.
G) I am probably the only person at the Ministry who would click on that many picture links.
H) This is the last time I click on that many Twitter links.
That said -- "the Rebound" might be the first in an occasional series. I haven't made up my mind yet. While I'm pondering, how about you click on "The Runaways" premiere picture on the left to launch a gallery of the smiling-est KStew pics available without me having to steal stuff.
-- Christie D'Zurilla
P.S. I may have cheated a bit in the smiley gallery. I hope it leaves you smiling.
Photo: Kristen Stewart arrives at the premiere of "The Yellow Handkerchief" in Los Angeles on Feb.18. Credits: Gabriel Bouys / AFP/Getty Images, top; Chris Pizzello / Associated Press, left
Related dispatches from the Ministry of Gossip:Jodie Foster wants to teach Kristen Stewart a thing or two
Start here and keep clicking for the Ministry's "5 Days of 'The Runaways'" coverage.