Andrew Koenig's body found; 'My son took his own life,' father says

A tearful Walter Koenig appeared at a press conference Thursday evening to confirm that a body found earlier in the day in Vancouver's Stanley Park was that of his son, missing "Growing Pains" actor Andrew Koenig.

"My son took his own life," Walter Koenig said, wife Judy at his side.

Both parents and about 10 of Andrew's friends had returned to Stanley Park -- which at 1,000 acres is larger than New York's Central Park -- on Thursday morning to conduct their own search. They split into teams, Walter said, and after about two hours a call came from the other team saying that Andrew's body had been found. Walter and Judy then went to the site.

The Koenigs pleaded with others who might have depressed family members to recognize the signs.

Walter Koenig appealed to those who might be in emotional pain: "If you can learn anything from this, it's that there are people out there who really care, and you may not think so, and ultimately it may not be enough, but ... before you make that final decision, check it out again, talk to somebody."

Said Judy: "Don't rationalize away anything -- connect with each other if there's something that's bothering you, because there's love out there."

The body was found off a trail in a densely wooded area, and "was unseen from the path," a police spokeswoman said. Police have no reason to believe foul play was involved, she said, and would not release a cause of death, as a coroner's investigation has been opened.

Andrew Koenig, who played best friend Richard "Boner" Stabone to Kirk Cameron's Mike Seaver on the sitcom in the late 1980s, was last seen on Valentine's Day in Vancouver, where he had been visiting friends. He was reported missing Feb. 18 after failing to catch a Feb. 16 flight home to the L.A. area. His cellphone was last used Feb. 16. Andrew's parents, Walter and Judy Koenig, said they received a letter from him last week in which their son wrote in a "despondent tone." He had stopped taking medication for depression about a year ago, said his father, one of the stars of the original "Star Trek" series. The Koenigs had arrived in Vancouver on Tuesday to assist in the search. 

They appeared on the "Today" show Wednesday to ask for help in finding their son. A planned appearance via remote on "Larry King Live" was delayed by other news Wednesday, and the Koenigs left in frustration without going on the air.

Andrew Koenig's friends and other celebrities stepped up starting last week on Twitter, Facebook and blogs to let people know that Andrew was missing, former costar Cameron among them.

Unknown to his parents, in the weeks leading up to his Vancouver visit Koenig gave away his belongings, gave notice on his Venice apartment and paid his final rent.

"It started off as a garage sale," a neighbor told People, "and eventually, he put everything out in front of the apartment, like he was giving it away." According to a friend, Andrew said he wanted to start over in Vancouver.

"The information we've gathered from friends and family was that Andrew was despondent and going through a low period in his life like many people do, so we are very hopeful for his safe return and that he comes out of this dark period safely," Vancouver police spokesman Const. Tim Fanning said earlier this week.

Photos: Walter and Judy Koenig, top, at the Feb. 25, 2010, press conference in Vancouver where they announced the discovery of their son's body. At left, missing persons poster for Andrew Koenig is seen on a light pole in front of the Olympic Cauldron on February 24, 2010, in Vancouver. Credits: Roger Hallett / The Canadian Press / Associated Press, top; Michael Heiman / Getty Images, left.

Related dispatch from the Ministry of Gossip:

Growing Pains' actor Andrew Koenig is missing; son of Walter Koenig was last seen in Vancouver

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Comments

[CDZ from the Ministry]

@David Razowsky -- Christie D'Zurilla here from the blog. MOG is the hub of LAT's celebrity news, so there can be an odd juxtaposition in cases such as this. Regular MOG readers know that we cover births and deaths, engagements and arrests and beyond; the blog also offers a means for readers to express their condolences in comments. Related coverage has appeared here and also on the LAT's Show Tracker blog, which focuses on television.

Hopefully the tone of this more recent article is sufficient to convey the respect we have for the Koenig family. No disrespect is intended. Thanks for reading, and for commenting.

//cdz

[Josh]

My heart goes out to this man. I was 22 years old when my depression began. You lose a sense of who you are. Then you begin to believe you are the person that you have become. There is no light at the end of the tunnel. The medication works for a little. Then it doesn't. Then one day, a few years ago, I went to church and I asked one of the church members to pray for me and rid me of it. I was at my wits end. It was the most powerful prayer anyone had ever performed on me. For 5 minutes we prayed. I cried like a baby. 2 weeks later, on my life, it was gone. I have never been depressed since that day, and I don't have much more today then I did when I was at my lowest. God does help if you sincerely ask him. And to Kirk Cameron- if your reading this, my heart has never been touched more by any celebrity than when you tried to reach out to Andrew through your public message of asking him to "please call you". I think you're great. I grew up a fan of you and your show and I'm glad God chose you to be the spiritual guide that you are. God Bless you and the work that you do. And God Bless Andrew.

[pippin madison]

I for one was grateful to have a place to my sad thoughts off my chest. I did NOT take note of the title page but then even if I had my first thought would NOT have been to insult the blog needlessly. My first thought was and still is of the paramount sadness the Koenig's and Andrew's friends are experiencing right now. Unfortunately we live in a world full of miserable, mean and spiteful people who can't see past their own noses and instead of feeling sympathy or kindness towards those who are suffering all they think about is who can insult for senseable reason? It's pathetic and they are clueless.

[m.d.]

How terribly sad. Having lost a family member to suicide, I know the family never gets over the loss. Depression is a real illness, and for the person suffering, the pain is as real as if it were physical. If you know someone is depressed, don't hesitate to offer them the same support you would as if they'd suffered any other injury. You may, quite literally, save their life. And if you're the depressed person, please seek help! There are people who love you and will miss you terribly. Try to understand, you will condemn them to a lifetime of 'what if's' and all the pain you thought you were ending. It really is not the answer. My heart goes out to Andrew's family and friends. His suffering may be over, but theirs will go on. Depression is not fair to anyone.

[Diane]

This is so sad and I was so hoping for a different outcome....

[Violet]

I am so sorry for your loss.A child should never go before their parents.I lost my best friend due to a car accident and it literally killed her mother 2 years later.Just know I feel the pain in your heart.I wish I could make it better.Love to you both.Love will be the thing that get's you through.And believe in something.....Anything...Regards,Violet

[Violet]

I am so sorry for your loss.No parent should outlive their child.I lost my best friend in a car crash 6 years ago.My life has never been the same.The weirdest thing is that I'm a more giving person.Please embrace your memories,I only wish you the best!Take time,love each other,nestle,then decide when you want to come back to the real world!xoViolet

[COMMENTER1]

This is so sad. I have suffered from depression for 17 years and been stable the last ten years on meds. it takes a lot of therapy and trying different meds...I wish better treatment was available for people...Andrew's father is right. seek treatment talk to others before making that final decision. I would have missed out on 10 productive and wonderful years if i had been successful in my attempt to end my life. it seems the depression will never end, but it can. and you can get well and in remission. It makes wish somehow i could have helped andrew. His parents are so caring..my heart goes out to them and my prayers. depression can be such a deadly illness, i wish the public at large would realize this and better treatment was available...God bless his parents, other family and friends.

[CDZ from the Ministry]

Christie D'Zurilla again from the blog. I'd like to provide links to two reputable websites specifically discussing depression in men.

Both sites include links to resources for those seeking help for themselves or a friend or loved one. The first includes videos that are "real stories of men with depression, how they got help and got better."

NIMH:
http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/depression/men-and-depression/index.shtml

WebMD:
http://www.webmd.com/depression/depression-men

//cdz

[moi]

I dreaded this outcome. I am very sad to hear of it. My condolences to his family.

[LeoK711]

It's very sad, but having spent some years feeling terrible inside my own skin, I have to say that, for some people, this may be the only way out. I'm not saying it's good, but that it's so totally not a matter of 'knowing how much love is directed your way' - that can make a person feel worse, like despite their love, you just feel sad, sad, sad.

Nobody who hasn't been there can know what it's like to hate yourself every day, or to just feel unrelenting sadness. I'm glad I no longer feel that way. When it happens to someone else I think 'there but for grace go I.'

We have to trust that he did the right thing for him - he is at peace now. It's nobody's fault, it just happens sometimes.

[MelbyMonkey]

Oh no, I'm so terribly sorry to hear this! D= I was so hopeful that he would turn up, just taking a breather away from everyone for a little bit. I don't even know what to say, this is just heartbreaking. u_u My condolences go out to the family.

[Tracy]

I am so sorry for the Koenigs...sorry for Andrew....It was so brave and loving of them to reach out to others suffering from depression while suffering a parent's worst nightmare. I wish you peace and love. You did everything you could.....and so did his friends who tried to reach out. No one will really know why he didn't feel that his problems were fixable, and it's the worst kind of torture. Honestly, I'm in awe that his parents were so generous during a time of incredible grief. I don't know if I could be that gallant in the same circumstances. Andrew is at peace, something he could not achieve here on earth. My sincere condolences.

[SumXXIwannago]

My heart goes out to his family and friends. I cry for their loss. I cry for Andrew and cry for myself. I think I can relate all too well to what he might have been feeling in his last days......... Depression and mental illness can make you feel like you've been raped. You feel empty. You feel broken and shattered. You will never be the same after it. It robs you of your dignity, it destoyes your self esteem and will power. It can leave you tired (EMOTIONALLY)..... Just too tired to go on. Not an ounce of fight left in you.

I know because the only thing that stops me from ending my life is:
!). Fear of God 2). My emotionally fragile 24 yr old child.

And so I'll make it one more day.

[Margaret Senior-Usher]

As a parent of a child who suffers from depression, my heart aches deeply for Walter and Judy Koenig.
Depression knows no class, income or background.
It is time that people become more aware of the warning signs of depression. Many times the person that is depressed feels that since medication is not helping, why bother. This is when a medical professional must provide help.
As someone who has suffered from Chronic Depression most of my adult life, I was fortunate enough to find a medication that works well for me. This only happened after many years of trying one drug after another.
To Walter and Judy Koenig, my family's prayers and love are with you at this time of trial. Do not blame yourselves for Andrew's choice to end his life. You did what you felt you could do. Ultimately, the person with depression must accept it and accept the help provided. May our Father in Heaven bless you as you go on without Andrew.
Margaret Senior-Usher
Porterville, California

[mrsbeans]

My condolences to the Koenigs. Mental illness doesn't just affect the person who has it--everyone who knows and cares about that person suffers. My heart goes out to all who are grieving Andrew's loss.

[Mary Jones]

I am so sorry for your loss of Andrew. As a mother who lost a 14 yr old daughter to suicide I know Walter and Judy's pain. Being a "survivor of suicide " is a membership into a club we did not chose to become a member of. We never GET OVER the event, the pain. However we learn coping skills. I hope you allow yourselves to cry when you want and grieve how you need to. There are no rules. Sometimes, I still want to blame myself in some way for my daughter's death. However, I know it was her choice. I also know that I will see her again and she is going to get a good scoulding after I tell her how much I love her and much her sister and I have missed her. My prayers are with you, your family, and Andrew's many friends.

[Chris]

I am very sorry to hear about your loss. I know this is very painful time. Please know that you will be in my prayers and that I wish you strength and courage to continue day by day.

Chris

[CDZ from the Ministry]

Hey all, Christie D'Zurilla here from the blog. This is a VERY long comment, but it's a letter that commenter Carla shared with me. She wrote it after the suicide of her daughter, who was bipolar, and thought it might help others to better understand such a situation.

"I found it helped me to write a letter to myself and my daughter," she told me in an e-mail. She asked that I not use her last name.

-----

It is with great despair, although cathartic, that I write this. On Feb.10th, my precious daughter, Jenifer, committed suicide. She was a sweet, sensitive, highly intelligent person that had the great misfortune of also being bipolar. Despite taking her medications faithfully, never doing drugs, seldom drinking alcohol, she wasn’t able to rid herself of the depressive element of bipolar.

Her suicide was not about a precipitated event. Nor was it about an action or lack of by any one person. It was about Jenifer’s anguish, her sadness, her distress, her agony. Although Jeni knew she was loved and regardless of her numerous, caring friends, she could no longer endure the unrelenting pain.

For me, this is the day that I knew would come. This is the day the fog has lifted. This is the day my body is no longer protecting me from the harsh reality. Her death no longer seems surreal. This is the day I know I will no longer see her coming through the front door; we will no longer go to the movies together, share a hot fudge sundae, or go for a walk. She will never give me another hug or say “Love you, mom.” Today is the day I know she will never share her life with me again.

I have never felt so hollow or empty inside. I feel a piece of my soul and heart is gone. I have never cried with such intensity, in my life, as I have today. Yet, I know eventually, I will learn to live with Jeni’s death. I feel fortunate to have a loving, supportive family. I have also been blessed with many caring friends. My family and friends bring me great comfort and enable be me to know that I will, one day, be ok.

My dear, sweet Jeni, I forgive you the pain your death has caused me. God forgives you. Your spirit no longer belongs here. You are no longer mine to have and to hold. You belong somewhere else. A place where you will never suffer, feel sadness, despair, or pain. You belong to a place that is filled with happiness and love. You belong to a place where there are warm outstretched arms waiting to embrace you. I release you sweet girl. Go, my precious baby, go.

-- Carla

-------------------------------

//cdz

[cyndi]

This is such a tragedy, my prayers go out to Andrew's family, and Andrew. It is said the kindest act that you can do for someone that has passed is to pray for them, because they are no longer able to pray for themself.

[emiie]

That letter that christie posted that was written from a mom. That really brought a tear up.
depression isn't something to toy around with, as a few on here have written out.

For some even the simpe joy of being around loved ones and having all the support in the world isn't enough.

I am in no way saying that Koenig didn't have any support, but sometimes, in the sufferer's eyes....they're completely alone.
My most sincere condolences go out to the family and friends of Andrew.

[Kev]

Permanent solution to a temporary problem. Sad.