John Mayer in Rolling Stone: Not over Jennifer Aniston, but an innovator in masturbation
John Mayer, my favorite self-loathing-inducing crush, is at it again!
The handsome crooner continues to mystify me with his existential issues, as expressed in the latest Rolling Stone magazine. His lingering feelings over Jennifer Aniston, gains in the masturbation department and search for the perfect female anatomy are all discussed.
His quotes are not for the faint of heart. There are, however, more delicious shots (after the jump) from his photo spread, shot by Mark Seliger.
Consider yourself warned.
“I am the new generation of masturbator ... ," Mayer tells writer Erik Hedegaard. "I have masturbated myself out of serious problems in my life. The phone doesn’t pick up because I’m masturbating."
So when would be a good time to call? Maybe never. "It’s like a hot whirlpool for my brain, in a brain space that is 100% agreeable with itself."
What's not so agreeable is the emotional shrapnel still lodged in Mayer from his split with Aniston.
"I’ve never really gotten over it," he said of their final parting. "It was one of the worst times of my life."
He's still hopeful for a life partner, but she's got to have something special: what he calls the "Joshua Tree" of lady bits. And by this he means girl parts that he could feasibly "pitch a tent on and just camp out on for, like, a weekend."
Do I even have to ask you to comment? Maybe you should -- below.
-- Matt Donnelly
Top photo: John Mayer contemplates much in his clean white safe space. Credit: Mark Seliger for Rolling Stone
Photo: It seems espresso has gotten the best of John Mayer's shirt. Credit: Mark Seliger for Rolling Stone
Photo: John Mayer looks askew. We wish were in his line of sight. Credit: Mark Seliger for Rolling Stone
Photo: John Mayer on the cover of Rolling Stone. Credit: Mark Seliger