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If Brad and Angelina split, would they be Bran and Gelina?

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Rumors of a Brangelina breakup were flying over the weekend, fueled by a detailed News of the World article that was picked up by the Drudge Report. And now sources close to Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie tell People magazine that it’s all a steaming pile of storytelling.

Oh yeah, Johnny Depp died over the weekend too. Except that he didn’t (no heart attack, no car crash). And Brad and Angie already broke up last June. Except they didn’t.

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[Updated at 1:01 p.m.: What’s the best way for megastars to cope with a ‘breakup’? Apparently, it helps to plan out complementary attire for when they attend the Oscars together in March. At least, that’s what an Angie-close source told HollywoodLife exclusively Monday in confirming that the two are still a couple.]

[Updated at 12:09 p.m., Jan. 26: In yet another indication of how rock solid this story is and always has been, other sources now say the two, despite still being a ‘two,’ will not attend the Oscars together. Angie will be busy on a film costarring the not-dead Depp, says E!, and Brad, well, who knows what he’s up to. Are you cracking up as much as we are over this Very Serious Business? Judging by comments, not all of you are.]

We knew two weeks ago that Brangelina would not be attending the Golden Globe Awards. At the time, hubbub was made about ‘no showdown’ between Angelina and presenter Jennifer Aniston so close to the fifth anniversary of the split that ended in Brad and Jen’s divorce.

The Daily Mail tabloid out of the U.K., which is sticking with the NOTW story of the breakup, also reports the scandalous news that Brad and Jen were both at the Hope for Haiti telethon, although -- gasp! -- not with each other. That’s the same Daily Mail that on Saturday had Jen gazing ‘adoringly’ at Gerard Butler during the telethon, so believe whatever you want. Maybe it’s all just New Orleans’ fault.

News of the World, incidentally, is owned by the same company that owns the Sun tabloid -- which today has Brad’s brother Doug reportedly ‘begging’ the actor to end it with Angie, in a story that then repeats the info from the NOTW piece.

Can we start a rumor that Brad, rather than stepping up to support Haiti, was actually at the studio for a liaison with one of the other 100-plus actors and luminaries who participated? Oh wait, then we’d be making things up.

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We’re going to go wash up now.

-- Christie D’Zurilla

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