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Tila Tequila is pregnant or married or something?

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Formerly bisexual and newly lesbian drama queen Tila Tequila announced Sunday night on Twitter -- hey, it’s cheaper than using Crane’s stationery and stamps -- that she’s pregnant with her brother’s baby. And going to be a surrogate mom. And it’s a Christmas gift.

We’re not sure in what order.

Whether she’s actually pregnant, or just planning to become pregnant, is unclear. Tila has, after all, declared pregnancy -- or not -- in the past. (We do, however, have good reason to believe that non-lesbian Rachel Uchitel is not even close to pregnant, so, whew-what-a-relief on that one.)

But Tila’s pregnancy sounds sort of like when she was suddenly ‘married’ about 14 minutes into a UStream video announcing her engagement to heiress Casey Johnson (the ‘wifey’ who coincidentally is trying to regain custody of her daughter her daughter, Ava, from her mother).

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Details, shmetails -- what do they matter if you’re simultaneously delivering a perfectly executed accidental nipple slip, right?

Guess it also wouldn’t matter if ...

... the engagement ring had been regifted (unlike, we assume, Carrie Underwood‘s new rock). How inconvenient for Tila that her nearly single-handed yeoman’s work getting California’s same-sex marriage ban lifted back in 2008 didn’t stick. At least she’s brought a passel more random punctuation to her thoughts on Prop. 8 this time around, compared with her opinion back in May.

Sigh. We hope Tila’s mom and dad aren’t on Twitter, because otherwise there’ll be absolutely no surprises under the tree this year.

The Ministry is sorry for its delay in reporting these delicious tidbits.

But clearly not sorry enough to simply ignore them.

-- Christie D’Zurilla

P.S. Completely unrelated to Tila Tequila’s wedding, and in keeping with the ‘delivering the news late’ theme, we just came across this website with an adorable 2008 post about ‘Tila Tequila’s Wedding.’ It’s a sweet, refreshing break, if this post left you grabbing for the hand sanitizer.

Other stuff you might like from the Ministry of Gossip:

Carrie Underwood engaged to hockey player Mike Fisher

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Wait, not everything we read about Britney Spears is true?

Amy Winehouse’s ex-husband says he’s also going to be her next husband

Divorce in bulk: Jon and Kate Gosselin, Tiger’s wife Elin, Beyonce’s momTake a tour around the Ministry: We have Adam Lambert’s interview with Chelsea Handler, reggae singer Buju Banton’s troubles with the law, reports from the ‘Avatar’ blue carpet and premiere party, and a click-tastic plea that certain fabulously awful celebrity fashion trends should stay with us forever.

Want the headlines? Follow the Ministry of Gossip on Facebook and Twitter (we’re @LATcelebs). Find us on Facebook at facebook.com/ministryofgossip.

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