Ministry of Gossip

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Wait, not everything we read about Britney Spears is true??

December 22, 2009 | 10:15 am

Cheese Britney Spears isn't pregnant. Britney Spears isn't joining the "Sex and the City" cast. And Britney Spears isn't recording a beyond-the-grave duet with Michael Jackson.

"The Year in BS" report -- hey, those are her initials -- chronicles 75 Britney stories this year (out of 13,000) that the singer's camp deemed the most absurd, because, according to her website, "they were factually inaccurate, because they reported the patently absurd, or because we believe they are simply offensive to the sensibilities." 

We especially like that last category, and believe that the story about the alleged hissy fit over a stripper pole, or lack thereof, is a great illustration of the concept.

Perhaps Gossip Cop was the inspiration?

Also, an aside to Reuters: Britney Spears and Brittany Murphy? Two entirely different people.

Stay classy.

-- Christie D'Zurilla

Photo: The Ministry has learned *exclusively* that Britney Spears is addicted to aged, generic aspirin, above, and is having it custom-made into tablets large enough to satisfy her superstar appetites. Oh, wait, those are wheels of boutique cheese in the middle of the manufacturing process at Kenny's Farmhouse Cheese in Austin, Ky. Dangit, we'll *never* get on the BS list this way. Though we can highly recommend Kenny's cheeses -- they pair well with a stripper pole. Credit: Christie D'Zurilla.

The Ministry has more: Reports from the 'Avatar' blue carpet and premiere party, and a click-tastic plea that certain fabulously awful celebrity fashion trends should stay with us forever. Or if you're just in the mood for eye candy, check out hot celebs playing with a hot car. Plus there's always 'Jersey Shore.'

Want to know where the action was at the Ministry last week? Click here instead! Or here, for comments from the week before! Or click them all, and we'll buy you a cookie when and if we ever meet you! Wait, that'd be a bribe, so, um, forget the cookie part.

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