Today in news that’s not ‘New Moon’: Say adios to Oprah as we know her

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Word is out that Oprah Winfrey will announce on today’s live episode of her chat show that, indeed, said chat show will expire Sept. 9, 2011.Where to begin? Book clubs, cultural barometer, favorite things, fluctuating waistlines, cathartic hour-long interviews with rebounding pop stars -- what on Earth are we going to do, especially if she doesn’t pop up ASAP on OWN?

For more on Oprah’s departure and what might lie ahead, check out Company Town. Because believe you me, we’re not the only ones who are worried about what comes next.

Aside from her global influence and philanthropic efforts on and off the air, Oprah is first and foremost the high priestess of afternoon television. To whom will we turn for advice on living our best lives after next September?

At least until we can get access to whatever it is she’s going to do on her own cable network?

In 2005’s ‘Adam & Steve,’ Parker Posey said it best: ‘Oprah has made it impossible for me to have a close relationship with anyone besides Oprah.’

Love that.

Aside from a class-action invoice for therapy, we welcome your thoughts on Oprah’s decision in the comments.

-- Matt Donnelly