Katy Perry had a birthday party, so now Taylor Swift is a Nazi?
A while back, a lovely girl named Katy Perry was born. She became famous. And on Saturday, she celebrated her 25th birthday with a Willy Wonka-themed extravaganza sponsored by a vodka label. She invited guests! And the guests were told to wear white! So that they could celebrate by decorating each other with neon paint!
What could go wrong?Enter poor, sweet, blond Taylor, soon to become the “Carrie” of this Oompa Loompa-laden bacchanal.
Lulled into a false sense of security after her Kanye West-ificiation at the MTV Video Music Awards, Swift actually posed for pictures with other people who had been invited to the birthday party.
Clearly, a foolish career move.
The correct response: “Don’t you know I’m Taylor Swift, you serf? Wipe that smile off your face! I made the best female video ever!” Because rude and crazy just blend in.
Taylor, Taylor, Taylor. You just had to pose with That One Guy. That One Guy who now says that before the party, he didn’t know you, didn’t know from swastikas. Who says it started as a red “X,” then got all “perverted,” which is really unbelievable, considering everyone was at a Hollywood party, sponsored by a vodka label, where pretty young people were all painting on one another. Will the deception and conspiracies never stop?For the record, Taylor, That One Guy now tells TMZ that he’s really, really sorry, and concedes that it’s possible you didn’t fully inspect his ensemble when he grabbed you for the picture.
Yeah, right. Who’d believe that?
Takeaway wisdom is after the jump:
1. Never pose for a picture with That One Guy. It always ends badly, and always winds up online.
2. Always make sure Miley Cyrus is invited to the party. Evil incarnate, she comes in handy as a decoy.
-- Christie D’Zurilla
P.S. Now that the swastika has a back story, what about those letters on Taylor’s shirt, hmm? Lessee, they either indicate something really rude and anti-Semitic, or are short for “Julianne Hough,” a pal Swift hung out with at the event. The very same Julianne Hough who wound up with “TS” painted on her shirt by – a likely story! – Taylor Swift.
P.P.S. That One Guy's name is AJ English, and did he mention he’s sorry?
Top photo: Taylor Swift performs atop a cab on the street outside Radio City Music Hall during the MTV Video Music Awards on Sept. 13, 2009, in New York. Credit: Charles Sykes / Associated Press.
Bottom photo: Katy Perry shows off her custom Oompa-Loompa manicure at her birthday party in Hollywood, sponsored by 42 Below vodka.Credit: Casey Rodgers / AP Images for 42 Below.