Brutally honest computer error messages

As I look back on my experience with computers, it's a miracle I'm still able to use these things without curling into the fetal position. Windows 95, 98 and ME (yes, I can shamefully admit to having bought and installed Windows Millennium Edition -- hey, it was Y2K-compliant!) had a nagging habit of telling me I had committed "fatal errors." Yet, a decade later I'm still plugging away on these high-tech machines without a single fatality to report.

That's not to say that computer error messages have gotten any clearer since then. "Unknown errors" are still a common occurrence; Firefox still loves to crash at the most inopportune times; and Google has error pages for the error page.

Let's be honest, developers! If it's the user's fault, say so. If it's simply a result of bad programming, be up front and clear about it. So, with that philosophy in mind, here's some fictional error messages that users can actually understand. [ Computer Error Messages ]

-- Mark Milian

hahahahaha. Right. Like guys need anymore reasons why to grow a beard. I am trying to think if I know any guys who haven't at one time or another participated in a beard growing contest.

Yup. I don't know any men who haven't done such a thing. Sooooo I'm sure this post will just result in everyone's boyfriend's getting fuzzy. Happy giant beard growing. [ 10 Very Good Reasons Why You Should Grow A Giant Beard ]

Those two fines are so similar, I can totally understand how the paper could get these two stories confused. This website, Criggo, had so many classic newspaper cutouts and you would be a full not to check the entire archives. It's a new site, so it's one you should bookmark and check back to often.
[ Criggo: Newspapers are going away. That's too bad ]

 

Awwwwwwwwwwwwww! I am in love with these photos. Not sure if this friendship will last but it's pretty adorable for the time being. [ Chimpanzee and tiger bffs photos ]

Okay this has been around the internet a bit this week but I just shared it with my entire family in Thanksgiving day cheer and the women here are all shrieking and I can't stop laughing. If you haven't seen it yet, enjoy. If you have, it's pretty much just as funny the first time as it is the 6th and 7th time.

Sent in by ambrosekalifornia and posted for this knit version of Bender. Awesome.  I am home for the holidays and those of you in the States are probably saying "WHAT HOLIDAY?" and to you, I say it's Canadian Thanksgiving. So it's our month of turkey and various other heavy side dishes. I was originally against this holiday being in October but after eating Thanksgiving dinner, I am going to say that I don't think I can look at another Turkey till Christmas. I am glad I got an extra month in there.    [Strange Knits and Yarn Monsters]

*edit: I forgot momentarily that I was going for Thanksgiving dinner take 2 today in Scarborough tonight. If I am missing in action tomorrow, I am probably dead.

oh god, please don't let it be turkey. Maybe Salmon...or Ham.

AAAAACTING!

We feel your pain. We blame you a little but then also feel your pain, sad guys on the trading floor. I'm just glad we are not in the same room as you right now. I'm afraid those sad faces would turn into mad ones. On the bright side, while there is nothing funny about what is happening to people, these captions made me laugh.  [ Sad Guys on the Trading Floor ]

Faces in places--A photographic collection of faces found in everyday places. For those who like Faces in Places perhaps you'll also like sinks that look like faces too. [Faces in Places ]

This image makes me laugh out loud every time I see it. So, I figured I should share the laughter. Batdog is my hero and I am convinced he should be everyone elses hero too. Picture thanks to Will.

This perplexing pair of banned items comes to us, once again, from the wacky world of Your Scene.

The only conclusion I can draw is that this restaurant had some complaints involving Basset hound fur and a tub of Rocky Road. (Seriously though -- what restaurant prohibits ice cream?  I guess that explains why the table is empty.  If you ask me, an frozen-delicacy-free establishment is not one worth frequenting.)

--Lindsay Barnett

Photo: "No Icecream Cones or Dogs" by Eric
From the Your Scene album Weird Warnings

10 Very Good Reasons Why You Should Grow A Giant Beard

hahahahaha. Right. Like guys need anymore reasons why to grow a beard. I am trying to think if I know any guys who haven't at one time or another participated in a beard growing contest.

Yup. I don't know any men who haven't done such a thing. Sooooo I'm sure this post will just result in everyone's boyfriend's getting fuzzy. Happy giant beard growing. [ 10 Very Good Reasons Why You Should Grow A Giant Beard ]

Those two fines are so similar, I can totally understand how the paper could get these two stories confused. This website, Criggo, had so many classic newspaper cutouts and you would be a full not to check the entire archives. It's a new site, so it's one you should bookmark and check back to often.
[ Criggo: Newspapers are going away. That's too bad ]

 

Awwwwwwwwwwwwww! I am in love with these photos. Not sure if this friendship will last but it's pretty adorable for the time being. [ Chimpanzee and tiger bffs photos ]

Okay this has been around the internet a bit this week but I just shared it with my entire family in Thanksgiving day cheer and the women here are all shrieking and I can't stop laughing. If you haven't seen it yet, enjoy. If you have, it's pretty much just as funny the first time as it is the 6th and 7th time.

Sent in by ambrosekalifornia and posted for this knit version of Bender. Awesome.  I am home for the holidays and those of you in the States are probably saying "WHAT HOLIDAY?" and to you, I say it's Canadian Thanksgiving. So it's our month of turkey and various other heavy side dishes. I was originally against this holiday being in October but after eating Thanksgiving dinner, I am going to say that I don't think I can look at another Turkey till Christmas. I am glad I got an extra month in there.    [Strange Knits and Yarn Monsters]

*edit: I forgot momentarily that I was going for Thanksgiving dinner take 2 today in Scarborough tonight. If I am missing in action tomorrow, I am probably dead.

oh god, please don't let it be turkey. Maybe Salmon...or Ham.

AAAAACTING!

We feel your pain. We blame you a little but then also feel your pain, sad guys on the trading floor. I'm just glad we are not in the same room as you right now. I'm afraid those sad faces would turn into mad ones. On the bright side, while there is nothing funny about what is happening to people, these captions made me laugh.  [ Sad Guys on the Trading Floor ]

Faces in places--A photographic collection of faces found in everyday places. For those who like Faces in Places perhaps you'll also like sinks that look like faces too. [Faces in Places ]

This image makes me laugh out loud every time I see it. So, I figured I should share the laughter. Batdog is my hero and I am convinced he should be everyone elses hero too. Picture thanks to Will.

This perplexing pair of banned items comes to us, once again, from the wacky world of Your Scene.

The only conclusion I can draw is that this restaurant had some complaints involving Basset hound fur and a tub of Rocky Road. (Seriously though -- what restaurant prohibits ice cream?  I guess that explains why the table is empty.  If you ask me, an frozen-delicacy-free establishment is not one worth frequenting.)

--Lindsay Barnett

Photo: "No Icecream Cones or Dogs" by Eric
From the Your Scene album Weird Warnings

"Newspapers are going away. That’s too bad."

Those two fines are so similar, I can totally understand how the paper could get these two stories confused. This website, Criggo, had so many classic newspaper cutouts and you would be a full not to check the entire archives. It's a new site, so it's one you should bookmark and check back to often.
[ Criggo: Newspapers are going away. That's too bad ]

 

Awwwwwwwwwwwwww! I am in love with these photos. Not sure if this friendship will last but it's pretty adorable for the time being. [ Chimpanzee and tiger bffs photos ]

Okay this has been around the internet a bit this week but I just shared it with my entire family in Thanksgiving day cheer and the women here are all shrieking and I can't stop laughing. If you haven't seen it yet, enjoy. If you have, it's pretty much just as funny the first time as it is the 6th and 7th time.

Sent in by ambrosekalifornia and posted for this knit version of Bender. Awesome.  I am home for the holidays and those of you in the States are probably saying "WHAT HOLIDAY?" and to you, I say it's Canadian Thanksgiving. So it's our month of turkey and various other heavy side dishes. I was originally against this holiday being in October but after eating Thanksgiving dinner, I am going to say that I don't think I can look at another Turkey till Christmas. I am glad I got an extra month in there.    [Strange Knits and Yarn Monsters]

*edit: I forgot momentarily that I was going for Thanksgiving dinner take 2 today in Scarborough tonight. If I am missing in action tomorrow, I am probably dead.

oh god, please don't let it be turkey. Maybe Salmon...or Ham.

AAAAACTING!

We feel your pain. We blame you a little but then also feel your pain, sad guys on the trading floor. I'm just glad we are not in the same room as you right now. I'm afraid those sad faces would turn into mad ones. On the bright side, while there is nothing funny about what is happening to people, these captions made me laugh.  [ Sad Guys on the Trading Floor ]

Faces in places--A photographic collection of faces found in everyday places. For those who like Faces in Places perhaps you'll also like sinks that look like faces too. [Faces in Places ]

This image makes me laugh out loud every time I see it. So, I figured I should share the laughter. Batdog is my hero and I am convinced he should be everyone elses hero too. Picture thanks to Will.

This perplexing pair of banned items comes to us, once again, from the wacky world of Your Scene.

The only conclusion I can draw is that this restaurant had some complaints involving Basset hound fur and a tub of Rocky Road. (Seriously though -- what restaurant prohibits ice cream?  I guess that explains why the table is empty.  If you ask me, an frozen-delicacy-free establishment is not one worth frequenting.)

--Lindsay Barnett

Photo: "No Icecream Cones or Dogs" by Eric
From the Your Scene album Weird Warnings

Chimpanzee and tiger BFFS

 

Awwwwwwwwwwwwww! I am in love with these photos. Not sure if this friendship will last but it's pretty adorable for the time being. [ Chimpanzee and tiger bffs photos ]

Okay this has been around the internet a bit this week but I just shared it with my entire family in Thanksgiving day cheer and the women here are all shrieking and I can't stop laughing. If you haven't seen it yet, enjoy. If you have, it's pretty much just as funny the first time as it is the 6th and 7th time.

Sent in by ambrosekalifornia and posted for this knit version of Bender. Awesome.  I am home for the holidays and those of you in the States are probably saying "WHAT HOLIDAY?" and to you, I say it's Canadian Thanksgiving. So it's our month of turkey and various other heavy side dishes. I was originally against this holiday being in October but after eating Thanksgiving dinner, I am going to say that I don't think I can look at another Turkey till Christmas. I am glad I got an extra month in there.    [Strange Knits and Yarn Monsters]

*edit: I forgot momentarily that I was going for Thanksgiving dinner take 2 today in Scarborough tonight. If I am missing in action tomorrow, I am probably dead.

oh god, please don't let it be turkey. Maybe Salmon...or Ham.

AAAAACTING!

We feel your pain. We blame you a little but then also feel your pain, sad guys on the trading floor. I'm just glad we are not in the same room as you right now. I'm afraid those sad faces would turn into mad ones. On the bright side, while there is nothing funny about what is happening to people, these captions made me laugh.  [ Sad Guys on the Trading Floor ]

Faces in places--A photographic collection of faces found in everyday places. For those who like Faces in Places perhaps you'll also like sinks that look like faces too. [Faces in Places ]

This image makes me laugh out loud every time I see it. So, I figured I should share the laughter. Batdog is my hero and I am convinced he should be everyone elses hero too. Picture thanks to Will.

This perplexing pair of banned items comes to us, once again, from the wacky world of Your Scene.

The only conclusion I can draw is that this restaurant had some complaints involving Basset hound fur and a tub of Rocky Road. (Seriously though -- what restaurant prohibits ice cream?  I guess that explains why the table is empty.  If you ask me, an frozen-delicacy-free establishment is not one worth frequenting.)

--Lindsay Barnett

Photo: "No Icecream Cones or Dogs" by Eric
From the Your Scene album Weird Warnings

All I can think is, that poor poor best man.

Okay this has been around the internet a bit this week but I just shared it with my entire family in Thanksgiving day cheer and the women here are all shrieking and I can't stop laughing. If you haven't seen it yet, enjoy. If you have, it's pretty much just as funny the first time as it is the 6th and 7th time.

Sent in by ambrosekalifornia and posted for this knit version of Bender. Awesome.  I am home for the holidays and those of you in the States are probably saying "WHAT HOLIDAY?" and to you, I say it's Canadian Thanksgiving. So it's our month of turkey and various other heavy side dishes. I was originally against this holiday being in October but after eating Thanksgiving dinner, I am going to say that I don't think I can look at another Turkey till Christmas. I am glad I got an extra month in there.    [Strange Knits and Yarn Monsters]

*edit: I forgot momentarily that I was going for Thanksgiving dinner take 2 today in Scarborough tonight. If I am missing in action tomorrow, I am probably dead.

oh god, please don't let it be turkey. Maybe Salmon...or Ham.

AAAAACTING!

We feel your pain. We blame you a little but then also feel your pain, sad guys on the trading floor. I'm just glad we are not in the same room as you right now. I'm afraid those sad faces would turn into mad ones. On the bright side, while there is nothing funny about what is happening to people, these captions made me laugh.  [ Sad Guys on the Trading Floor ]

Faces in places--A photographic collection of faces found in everyday places. For those who like Faces in Places perhaps you'll also like sinks that look like faces too. [Faces in Places ]

This image makes me laugh out loud every time I see it. So, I figured I should share the laughter. Batdog is my hero and I am convinced he should be everyone elses hero too. Picture thanks to Will.

This perplexing pair of banned items comes to us, once again, from the wacky world of Your Scene.

The only conclusion I can draw is that this restaurant had some complaints involving Basset hound fur and a tub of Rocky Road. (Seriously though -- what restaurant prohibits ice cream?  I guess that explains why the table is empty.  If you ask me, an frozen-delicacy-free establishment is not one worth frequenting.)

--Lindsay Barnett

Photo: "No Icecream Cones or Dogs" by Eric
From the Your Scene album Weird Warnings

Strange Knits and Yarn Monsters

Sent in by ambrosekalifornia and posted for this knit version of Bender. Awesome.  I am home for the holidays and those of you in the States are probably saying "WHAT HOLIDAY?" and to you, I say it's Canadian Thanksgiving. So it's our month of turkey and various other heavy side dishes. I was originally against this holiday being in October but after eating Thanksgiving dinner, I am going to say that I don't think I can look at another Turkey till Christmas. I am glad I got an extra month in there.    [Strange Knits and Yarn Monsters]

*edit: I forgot momentarily that I was going for Thanksgiving dinner take 2 today in Scarborough tonight. If I am missing in action tomorrow, I am probably dead.

oh god, please don't let it be turkey. Maybe Salmon...or Ham.

AAAAACTING!

We feel your pain. We blame you a little but then also feel your pain, sad guys on the trading floor. I'm just glad we are not in the same room as you right now. I'm afraid those sad faces would turn into mad ones. On the bright side, while there is nothing funny about what is happening to people, these captions made me laugh.  [ Sad Guys on the Trading Floor ]

Faces in places--A photographic collection of faces found in everyday places. For those who like Faces in Places perhaps you'll also like sinks that look like faces too. [Faces in Places ]

This image makes me laugh out loud every time I see it. So, I figured I should share the laughter. Batdog is my hero and I am convinced he should be everyone elses hero too. Picture thanks to Will.

This perplexing pair of banned items comes to us, once again, from the wacky world of Your Scene.

The only conclusion I can draw is that this restaurant had some complaints involving Basset hound fur and a tub of Rocky Road. (Seriously though -- what restaurant prohibits ice cream?  I guess that explains why the table is empty.  If you ask me, an frozen-delicacy-free establishment is not one worth frequenting.)

--Lindsay Barnett

Photo: "No Icecream Cones or Dogs" by Eric
From the Your Scene album Weird Warnings

Sad Guys on the Trading Floor

AAAAACTING!

We feel your pain. We blame you a little but then also feel your pain, sad guys on the trading floor. I'm just glad we are not in the same room as you right now. I'm afraid those sad faces would turn into mad ones. On the bright side, while there is nothing funny about what is happening to people, these captions made me laugh.  [ Sad Guys on the Trading Floor ]

Faces in places--A photographic collection of faces found in everyday places. For those who like Faces in Places perhaps you'll also like sinks that look like faces too. [Faces in Places ]

This image makes me laugh out loud every time I see it. So, I figured I should share the laughter. Batdog is my hero and I am convinced he should be everyone elses hero too. Picture thanks to Will.

This perplexing pair of banned items comes to us, once again, from the wacky world of Your Scene.

The only conclusion I can draw is that this restaurant had some complaints involving Basset hound fur and a tub of Rocky Road. (Seriously though -- what restaurant prohibits ice cream?  I guess that explains why the table is empty.  If you ask me, an frozen-delicacy-free establishment is not one worth frequenting.)

--Lindsay Barnett

Photo: "No Icecream Cones or Dogs" by Eric
From the Your Scene album Weird Warnings

Faces in Places

Faces in places--A photographic collection of faces found in everyday places. For those who like Faces in Places perhaps you'll also like sinks that look like faces too. [Faces in Places ]

This image makes me laugh out loud every time I see it. So, I figured I should share the laughter. Batdog is my hero and I am convinced he should be everyone elses hero too. Picture thanks to Will.

This perplexing pair of banned items comes to us, once again, from the wacky world of Your Scene.

The only conclusion I can draw is that this restaurant had some complaints involving Basset hound fur and a tub of Rocky Road. (Seriously though -- what restaurant prohibits ice cream?  I guess that explains why the table is empty.  If you ask me, an frozen-delicacy-free establishment is not one worth frequenting.)

--Lindsay Barnett

Photo: "No Icecream Cones or Dogs" by Eric
From the Your Scene album Weird Warnings

Batdog

This image makes me laugh out loud every time I see it. So, I figured I should share the laughter. Batdog is my hero and I am convinced he should be everyone elses hero too. Picture thanks to Will.

This perplexing pair of banned items comes to us, once again, from the wacky world of Your Scene.

The only conclusion I can draw is that this restaurant had some complaints involving Basset hound fur and a tub of Rocky Road. (Seriously though -- what restaurant prohibits ice cream?  I guess that explains why the table is empty.  If you ask me, an frozen-delicacy-free establishment is not one worth frequenting.)

--Lindsay Barnett

Photo: "No Icecream Cones or Dogs" by Eric
From the Your Scene album Weird Warnings

We don't want any trouble around here

This perplexing pair of banned items comes to us, once again, from the wacky world of Your Scene.

The only conclusion I can draw is that this restaurant had some complaints involving Basset hound fur and a tub of Rocky Road. (Seriously though -- what restaurant prohibits ice cream?  I guess that explains why the table is empty.  If you ask me, an frozen-delicacy-free establishment is not one worth frequenting.)

--Lindsay Barnett

Photo: "No Icecream Cones or Dogs" by Eric
From the Your Scene album Weird Warnings