Dolly The Bipedal Dog

Poodles + Casts on two legs + owner willing to exploit their dog's condition = comedy gold

*Video thanks to BWE

MeatWater

 

The product comes in a variety of colors and flavors to satisfy any palate. And whether you seek simple nutrition or serious energy enhancement, MeatWater delivers!

You are an active, attractive, successful person. So you're constantly searching for more effective, more efficient ways to perform the simplest tasks – especially eating! Protein shakes, energy drinks, powerbars are all ways people seek to get nutrients without spending all the time that eating requires. MeatWater addresses this impulse by creating a product in the marketplace that fulfills the desire for streamlined sustenance while embracing your inner carnivore.

This is perhaps the most disturbing thing I have seen on the internet in a month...and that's saying something. What Meat Water offers you is a meal in a bottle and believe it or not you actually have quite a few choices. Depending on your bottle dinner mood you can have Beef Jerky, Dirty Hot Dog, Fish'n Chips, Hungarian Gulash, Italian Sausage, Peking Duck,Beef Stroganof,  Tandoori Chicken, Texas BBQ, Wiener Schnitzel, Cheese Burger, and Chicken Teriyaki,. [ Meat Water ]

LEGO Planter

A few days ago I posted about Park Planters which cost a steep $150. Well today I was browsing around Smith & Hawken on my lunch break and found the little air fern that was included in the $150 wallet rape. The fern only cost $5 so I decided to just build my own planter out of the the best building materials known to man, LEGOs. (The plant is actually in it's own pot inside the structure).

If it's made out of lego, I love it. I would love to have something like this in my living room.  [ LEGO Planter ]

Tron's Classic Light Cycle Scene 'Sweded'

Tron
by freres-hueon

Awesome and if you ever wanted to play Light Cycles on your real-life bicycle, here's how. I love that sweded films are catching on. One of my recent favorites is The Princess Bride (In 5 minutes).

Are Rock Band Drums like Real World Drums?

It’s been widely reported that playing Rock Band drums is eerily similar to playing real world drums, far more so than any other fake plastic rock instrument...Kevin, who regularly gets 98 to 99 percent on expert drums in Coheed and Cambria’s “Welcome Home”, put that theory to the test in a recent epsiode of G4’s Attack of the Show. He met with Coheed and Cambria and substituted for the real drummer!

G4tv gets to the bottom of this Rock Band rumor. Pretty amazing, check it out.[ RB Drums VS The Real Deal ]

Korean Drummer Super!

Oh my goodness... that man is happier than any of us will ever be. He is now and will from this point forward till the day that I die, be my favourite drummer of all time.

Fold-Ins, Past and Present

The New York Times have posted up some of Al Jaffee's fold-ins for Mad magazine from the 1960s to the present, in interactive form.  [ Fold-Ins ]  

Price Is Right : Prepare to meet the most painful PIR player ever

There are no work-friendly words to describe this video.  I'm surprised she didn't give old Bob a heart attack. Make sure to watch the whole video. She will bring you great joy as you watch Bob have a mini mental breakdown on air.

Chinese MC Hammer.

2 Legit 2 Quit. I happen to be rather obsessed with the hammer dance. I may collect a few videos here and there.

Office Humour

Ever have one of those days? Ever have one of those dreams? Classic Imponderables sketch, finally filmed for video.

You can find more sketches like this from the Imponderables on their website.

HAT: Heaven Admissions Test

You must answer at least TEN of the following questions.

Read this examination paper in its entirety before answering. You are reminded that you have three hours to complete this examination, and this is your only opportunity to sit this examination, so answer carefully and accurately. Good luck.

1. "Dubito ergo cogito, cogito ergo sum." Assess the implications of Descartes' supposition in relation to the doctrine of God's infallibility. Does doubt finally prove God's existence or his absence within this paradigm?

2. Identify your five favourite poems by Coventry Patmore, and defend your preferences.

3. Assume Douglas Adams, however jokingly, was right in postulating that the answer to the meaning of life was "42." Calculate accordingly the square root of the meaning of death to five decimal places.

4. Name every person you've ever hurt in your life-- and not just the ones you know you hurt, but all of them-- and explain the reasons for your actions. Postulate remedies for at least twenty of those people.

5. It is generally noted that nature abhors a vacuum. If this is the case, why do Hoovers continue to exist? What does this suggest to you about nature, and, indeed, about the future of reality TV?

6. Is evil a necessary aspect of human existence? Why or why not? Note: do not invoke Nietzsche in answering this; God is still pissed after the whole "God is dead" thing.

7. Is the Christian God heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, asexual, carnisexual, or herbisexual? Explain with references to indications of God's 'proclivities' that may be gleaned from the Bible.

8. God can see you when you masturbate. Explain why this does or does not bother you. Caveat: Do not argue that you don't; he knows better.

9. Your dead relatives also have front-row seats when you masturbate. Explain why this does or does not bother you. Again, do not argue that you do not masturbate, and think long and hard on your grandmother's face as you articulate your 'gendericity.'

10. Write your own version of Dante's Commedia. Where would you situate yourself in this version of purgatory, hell, and heaven, and why?

11. Turn the ink from your examination paper into either blood or wine (take your pick; this is supposed to be fun, after all!).

12. Justify triskaidekaphobia.

14. Express your deepest love in one word.

15. Express your deepest hate in one letter.

16. Is time past gathered in time future?

17. Prove that Avril Lavigne and Jerry Springer are indeed the same person.

18. Perform one act of genuine faith and love, and describe the emotions you have as you do so. Keep in mind, this has to be an act of true faith and love, and not just what you assume one is.

19. "Brevity is the soul of wit," Shakespeare indicates. Prove this with your examination paper.

20. Can you honestly say you've given more to the world than it has given you? If so, address your wrongedness in the form of a Johnny Carson monologue. If not, address your plenty in the form of a Van Morrison song.

21. Write an elegy for Hitler that does not invoke either jingoistic Teutonism, cheap patriotism, or vindictive anti-Semitism.

22. What is the secret of the Caramilk bar?

23. Caress the inner truth within you, and describe it. Remember, your grandparents can read your answers.

24. Have the guts: write your deepest desire, the one you most desperately try to pretend does not exist.

25. Explain the virtues of bukkake in the form of a poetic epistle.

26. Explain the last time you cried.

27. Explain the last time you didn't cry, but wish you had.

28. Write the perfect equivalent of a kiss.

29. Does malt truly do more than Milton can to justify the ways of God to man? Why or why not?

and

30. Write a funny and intelligent parody of this examination paper that turns the tables on God. Do this without invoking the age-old joke of the platypus.

THE END

- Christie St. Martin and Dr.Jeremy Sharp

Your Three words

A special Y3W montage featuring a live performance by the Counting Crows that aired on GMA Saturday March 29th, 2008. Submit your three words now and watch again in 2 weeks! Music: Counting Crows

If one word can convey a lot about your state of mind, just think how much three words can express. That's the hope, at least, behind "Express Yourself," the new outreach project from i-CAUGHT.

ABC's "your three words" segment has been catching on. Here are a few for your viewing pleasure. Truly wonderful but maybe next time ABC News can keep the camera off Adam Duritz. His hair gets in the way of my enjoyment of everything.

[ Background story ]   [ Direct YouTube Link ] [ August's Three Word's project ]
 

*Link thanks to Jon Robertson

The UFO guy

UFO guy makes a lot of sense. Despite him potentially watching Signs one too many times. DUDE, the aliens are not made of water it's just their ONLY weakness. Which somehow didn't happen until the end of the movie despite our world's atmosphere being filled with water vapour and umm the fact that it took place on a corn farm, as corn leaves collect dew don'tchaaaa know?  I'm sure there is a logical reason behind it. Mel Gibson wouldn't mislead us.
 

Delayed Reaction

Every so often, I miss a video on the internet. Rare. But it happens. I can't believe I am just seeing this now. HEEEEEEE heeee. Now, remixed. He sort of reminded me of this classic.

How To Speak Hip

So basically you say "Dig" a lot. That's all I got out of this lesson. Dig?

No. Not really, no. [ Lesson 1 - Basic Hip ]

Elephant Paints Self Portrait

Insert obligatory "An elephant never forgets" joke here.

GraphJam

The creators of I Can Has Cheezburger? were inspired by the web favourite Jamphat, which is a collection of rap lyrics explained in graph form, and decided to create a new blog. Personally, I have been loving up these graph memes for the past year and it's about time there is a solid place to submit your own. [ GraphJam ]

One more for the road:

Sardoodledom

This spelling bee kid is my new hero. Adoooorraaable. He should just be thankful it wasn't Lopadotemachoselachogaleokranio - leipsanodrimhypotrimmatosi - lphioparamelitokatakechymenokich - lepikossyphophattoperisteralektr - yonoptekephalliokigklopeleiolagoiosi - raiosiraiobaphetraganopterygon.

 

10 Worst Infomercials Ever

 

This video is best viewed between the hours of 1AM to 5AM, when you're kinda drunk.

All I know, is I want/need a hawaii chair RIGHT NOW. Wheeeeeee. [10 Worst Infomercials ]

The world's best counterfeit games

 

First of all, this is a fantastic list. My only real concern is that I have played all of them. Which makes me think I may need to re-evaluate how I spend my spare time. There is a slim chance that future employers will not be impressed that I have spent a considerable amount of time in the Black Mesa Research Facility. You know, doing your standard scientific research, such as radiation, rocketry, theoretical physics, lasers, experimental propulsion, hydraulics, robotics, hydroelectricity, genetics, applied mathematics and perhaps dabbling in chemistry and all manner of physics research Which sounds really impressive, until my future employer asks for references. Something tells me he is not going to buy the story that a Black Ops team set a nuclear device programmed to self-detonate inside Black Mesa and therefore nobody is available for comment.

Wait what was I talking about? OH LOOK, The world's best counterfeit games. Check it out.

5 Famous Inventors (Who Stole Their Big Idea)

NOBODY gives Nikola Tesla the attention he deserves. Except for that time he got to be played by David Bowie in a movie that's not even really about him... or logical science...

[ Cracked's 5 Famous Inventors who stole their big idea ]

10 Most Historically Inaccurate Films?

 

So what you're telling me is Tom Cruise was not really captured by Samurais and did not actually save Japan. I refuse to believe this. I refuse to believe this. Next thing you're going to tell me is that the Titanic really sunk to the bottom of the ocean. Anyone notice anything strange about this list? Because Hal is not real right? RIGHT? [ Inaccurate Films ]

Slow.Internet.Day. I KNOW.

Boomstick - Friday Flash Game

THIS… is my BOOM STICK...flash game.[ Play Boomstick ]

How Not to Haunt a House

How Not to Haunt a House -

Paranormal experts just released this home video of a horrifying ghost coming up stairs from the basement to haunt everyone in the house.

Way to go there, Casper.

The Tudors: Season 2, Episode 1

Watch the season two premiere for free and don't miss The Tudors every Sunday at 9pm ET/PT, only on Showtime. It's an all-new seas  Watch the season two premiere for free and don't miss The Tudors every Sunday at 9pm ET/PT, only on Showtime. It's an all-new season of betrayal, backstabbing, and beheading. King Henry VIII rules England, but his Queen-to-be, Anne Boleyn, rules his heart. Order Showtime now by calling 1-866-465-SHOW and get a $25 rebate. Learn more at http://www.sho.com/

Showtime has stepped up their internet game and brought the entire first episode of The Tudors season 2 to YouTube. I have actually seen the entire first season of The Tudors and I like it for probably for all the wrong (maybe right.  if it was intended to make me drool) reasons. It sure is steamy. The Tudors lives up to Showtime's reputation of being on the border of late night soft-core pr0n while still striving to be historically relevant.

Unforunately, if you live outside of the United States, NO TUDORS ON YOUTUBE FOR YOU. You'll have to illegally download it as per usual. NOT that I am encouraging you to do that. Pirating is wrong. So is soft core porn. And HISTORY. That's right, you don't get to drink Sparks, you don't get to have Starbucks drive-thru locations and you can't get your favorite shows on youtube. Sorry to ruin your day. On the bright side your country probably has better beer and some magical dish called poutine. Enjoy. [ Tudors Season 2, Episode 1 - You Tube Stream ]

TOPPS Indiana Jones Heritage sketch cards

Excited for Indiana Jones 4? Perhaps you'll fancy these Indiana Jones sketch cards created by Patrick Schoenmaker. Truly fantastic. [ Indiana Sketch Cards ]

Link thanks to Johnny Martz at Drawn.

Knut the polar bear is a 'publicity-addicted psycho', says keeper as he risks his job to speak out

Markus Roebke said Berlin Zoo's celebrity animal was obsessed with the limelight and howled with rage when denied an audience.
"Knut must go and the sooner the better," he said, insisting that the bear should be sent to an animal park where he received less attention.
"He is addicted to the whole show, the human adulation. It is not healthy.
"He actually cries out or whimpers if he sees that there is not a spectator outside his enclosure ready to ooh and aah at him.
"When the zoo had to shut because of black ice everywhere he howled until staff members stood before him and calmed him down."

                Somewhere in here is a lesson about Britney Spears.[ Knut the Polar Bear ]

Britney, Justin, Christina at the Mickey Mouse Club:

Photoshop Madness: Celebrity Plushie

Photoshop Theme: Celebrity Plushie,. Stuffing your favorite celebrities (get your mind out of the gutter).

To see all of the entries, check out Worth1000's Celebrity Plushie photoshop contest. [ Celebrity Plushie ]

In search of the world's Top 5 glasses of water

I remember this summer, I was watching the Today show and they were doing a segment on the best tasting tap water in America. The best part about this segment was that they forced  Meredith Vieira to drink various glasses of mystery tap water and guess their origin. Poor pampered Meredith had to pretend like she could taste the difference between 10 or so glasses of room temperature water  knowing full well the water could be from Detroit or Buffalo or from the Bronx. More importantly Meredith had to pretend like she drinks tap water ALL the time. Meanwhile, Katie Couric sits at home, cackling with glee.

Well, luckly for the internet, the Discovery Channel is a little more thorough than just asking Meredith which tap water she prefers. Check it out. [ top 5 glasses of water ]

The Accidents of Youth

The Accidents of Youth is a 1819 book of short stories about the Gory Consequences of Not Heeding Your Mom’s Advice.

Link [PDF] | You can find more awesome children's books from the Internet Archive at STWALLSKULL Blog

Hey everbody, look who's for sale...again.

Funny thing about the internet... even on the slowest posting day ever (which is apparently today) you can always find Jesus for sale. Sort of. Or at least a water vapor image of Jesus. Or if water vapor images aren't really your cup of tea you have an alternative, provided you have $100,000 to spare, of being the proud owner of the face of jesus on a fireplace stone.

That's Jesus's face eh? I don't know what you're seeing but I am totally seeing the image of Aslan from The Chronicles of Narnia in my head. Which if you think about it, is a lot like Jesus.  You know, if Jesus were a fictional character Lion who sacrifices himself to save his people and can also make food and wine  grape juice (those kids were not of  legal age) magically appear.

Aaaaaaaand before I tread on dangerous territory, I am going to have a glass of shut up with my bacon and eggs this morning.

The 10 Most Insane, Child-Warping Moments of '80s Cartoons

The ‘80s were supposed to be a harmless time for toys and the cartoons that sold them. Whether shilling lines of action figures or promoting characters who would eventually be action figures, these shows were designed to eat up kids’ attention in 30-minute blocks while ham-handedly promoting good citizenship and hygiene. In spite of this, cartoons sometimes snuck in certain moments that were clearly designed to break impressionable minds and pervert the youth of America. In the interests of helping a generation get through long-stewing cartoon-related stress disorders, we’re confronting the worst things the ‘80s ever did to us.

I remember all of these moments and cherish their child mind warping ways. But one childhood movie that warped me forever is missing from this list and that would be Sesame Street's Follow That Bird. Sure it's not a cartoon but it was definately intended for children and most definitely destroyed my perception on the world being a kind, fun, happy place. Big Bird runs away from home, only to be pretty much captured by Carnies, put in a cage, and as if he wasn't a big enough freak already, they paint him blue and put him on display for all to laugh at. WORST.CHILDRENS.MOVIE.EVER.  [ 10 most insane, child warping moments of '80s ]

Amish Road Rage

and yet it all seems so much classier than normal road rage scenarios.

International Dance Party

International Dance Party! The full length video of this crazy and funny party machine! from Niklas Roy on Vimeo.

The International Dance Party looks like an unassuming flight box. But as soon as its radar detects people dancing, its motorized face drops to reveal lights, fog, ground effects, a disco ball, and two speakers running 600 watts of the world's best unfiltered Eurohouse and other assorted Electro Boogie

I don't like it, It knows too much. [Gizmodo on International Dance Party ]

Overqualified

From the creators of  one of my favorite web comics, A Softer World comes Overqualified. Overqualified is a collection of letters to various companies from Joey Comeau. This is one of those times you decide to use that delightful bookmarking tool that explorer or preferably firefox gave you. Read them all. Then be sure to check back for updates. Don't forget to check out A Softer World if you have yet to discover it's brilliance. [ Overqualified ] 

Take 10: Marvel's Best Buddy Teams

Marvel.com’s Secret Cabal selects the ten top teamings who balance work and friendship in the Marvel Universe

Who do you think is the best buddy team in Marvel? Spidey and Venom? Doctor Strange and The Punisher? Torch and The Thing? Well, check out the Marvel  News choices and see if your picks made the cut this round.[ Marvel's Best Buddy Teams ]

World Beard and Moustache Championships

This is FANTASTIC.  [ World Beard and Moustache Championship ]

Rick Astley, king of the 'Rickroll,' talks about his song's second coming

I will never get sick of being Rickroll'd.  Even babies love Rick Roll. They can't get enough of him. College basketball fans...love Rick Roll. Sort of.

Check out the LA Times exclusive interview with the one and only Rick Astley and find out what he thinks about having become a 4chan inspired legendary web meme. [ Web Scout's exclusive interview ]

If it's good enough for the Fresh Prince, I'm all in.

World's Worst Intersections & Traffic Jams

Just when you thought your commute to work was bad, someone had to go and post pictures of some of the World's worst roads, intersections, roundabouts and traffic jams to make you feel like a whiny jackass. [ Worst Roads ]

Best Evil Robots

This is a rather impressive list complete with videos. It even includes Hector, Cut man and Lore.Follow the link for the best evil robots of all time countdown. [ Best Evil Robots ]

South Park is Free For All

Every single uncensored episode of every single season of South Park is now legally available online for free, courtesy of its creators. Unless of course you live in Canada or England. In which case I hope you know how to utilize proxy sites to your advantage in the meantime. [ South Park For All ]

Hollywood Tales with Richard Jenkins

Sea of Love: The tinseltown actor reflects on Al Pacino and the biggest movie ever made.



Hollywood Tales w/ Richard Jenkins: Witches of Eastwick



Two life lessons about Hollywood from Richard Jenkins. I just hope there are more tales to come in the near future. In the mean time, here are two for your viewing pleasure.