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'Twilight' Countdown: What do the Cullens talk about?

12 days left...


Before Bella arrived, what did the Cullen teens talk about all day and night? (No sleeping, just endless chatter.) It's the third week of our Caption This! "Twilight" contest -- and it's the most challenging one yet! Tell me what's going on in this picture. Jasper looks miffed. Rosalie's got that apple -- why is she the only one pretending to eat? Who is Emmett checking out? Does Alice smell something funny? Create some fictional dialogue and come back next Saturday to see who comes up with the best scene.


As for last week's winners, both made me laugh out loud ...

"Can i haz sexie vampire, noz?" and "Noz, Alice! Notz the pink satinz! Me no wanz!" -- Kelly

OK, I am biased. Kelly took me literally when I linked to some LOLcats sites last week and told you all to use it as inspiration. What can I say? Once you get into it, there's no going back. Congrats, Kelly.

The runners-up were just as great:

"Dammit. Ed just Rick Rolled me." -- Skyler (Because who don't love a good Rick Roll?)

"I get pregnant with a half-vampire baby in book four?! What the HELL?" -- Niki (Because I admit that I probably looked just like Kristen Stewart above when I got to that part of "Breaking Dawn.")

Once again, nicely done! The rest of the entries are here. The coming days will bring you interviews with Kristen Stewart, Stephenie Meyer, Peter Facinelli and screenwriter Melissa Rosenberg.

Also, look for my Q&A with MTV's "Twilight" dude Larry Carroll (who is just the sweetest), a piece about the Twilight Music Girls and a review of the movie's soundtrack.

-- Denise Martin

Complete 'Twilight' Countdown coverage
Complete 'Twilight' coverage on Hero Complex

Photo: Summit Entertainment

Comments () | Archives (60)

Wow Denise... spoiling book 4??? I know that MOST of us have read all 4 books, but for those that haven't seeing that caption is a HUGE spoiler. Bad form! I advise taking it down. Just a suggestion! Thanks!


Emmett: Alright, who stole my power rangers shirt?
Jasper: You have a power ranger shirt?
Alice: Errr....
Rosalie: OH great, I broke my nail.
Edward: Holy! The sexy eye squint DID work! Bella's staring at me!

Jasper: "THE EMOTIONS. Seriously, Rose, leave him alone he doesn't WANT to hold the apple like on the cover of that book."
Emmet: "What is everyone staring at?"
Rosalie: "Edward, seriously, could you be anymore of a creep. EAT"
Edward: "Bella Bella Bella Bella Bella Bella. All my thoughts are consumed by Bella Bella Bella Bella."

In ur cafeteria - not eatin ur foodz.

I made this one months ago:

Jasper: To many humans.HELP!
Alice: She wore that to school...how could she.
Emmett: I'm buffer and stronger than they are.
Rosalie: I'm much better than they are...they don't stand a chance against me.
Edward: My family is driving me crazy.

Jasper: Man I am parched! If you guys could pick one person at this school to eat who would it be?

Alice: Jasper don't start...

Emmett: I don't know. Maybe that girl over there. She looks pretty tasty.

Rosalie: Edward, do you think I can shine this apple enough to see my reflection?

Edward: (sighs) You're all idiots.

Alice: Ooooo look at Newton! ain't he a cutie
Jasper: WTF Alice?

Emmett: Are you kidding me? don't tell me that guy's more buff than me! Damn it!

Rosalie: Like oh my god I look hot even in an apple! check it Ed-ugly!
Edward: sshh...gawd what the bloodly hell is Team Jacob?

Alice: Bleh, Jasper, you reek. But it's okay! Werewolves smell worse.
Jasper: Really? I thought I smelled pretty good. But I agree with you, werewolves DO smell bad.

Rosalie (thinking): How do humans eat these stuff? It tastes nasty, I'm going to have to spit it back later. On the other hand, with this shiny apple, I can check myself out. Oh, I'm so hott.
Edward: Rosalie, can you PLEASE try to keep your thoughts on how hott you look to yourself?
Rosalie: Just stay out of my head Edward.
Edward: I can't help that your thoughts are so damn loud.

Emmett (thinking): Whoa, who IS that new girl?
Edward: Shut up Emmett, Rosalie's right next to you.
Rosalie: What?
Edward: Nothing, but all the guys are all over her. I think her name's Bella Swan.
Emmett: Charlie's daughter?
Edward: Yeah, I can't seem to read her mind. It's frustrating. I was in a few guy's minds. Sick perverts.


Rosalie: "Edward what the hell is wrong with you? You get to sit next to me and you never care!"
Edward: "Rosalie put that stupid apple down, you look ridiculous just holding it and not eating it."
Emmett: "Rose, wouldn't that kid Mike Newton be fun to kill?" Maybe we can play just a little? Carlisle doesn't have to find out."
Alice: "Jasper, you want to go hunting later? You seem a little tense. I know you aren't going to hurt anyone but maybe hunting would help a little."
Jasper: "Sure Alice, being on the hunt with you would give me a lot of enjoyment. Let's hike to the mountains for some goats."

Emmett(thinking): Damn, Jasper's lookin fine today...
Rosalie(thinking): What's with Edward looking over there...maybe I should throw my apple at him....
Alice: Did you take a shower today Jasper? You smell.....
Edward(thinking): Ug, why do I have to hear Emmett's thoughts about Jasper??? D=

(Rosalie) "Wait, is this the same apple that the clutzy human dropped and you flipped it back up into you're hands with your shoe? GROSS!!"

(Edward) "Like I was saying... my biceps are awesome." (Rosalie) "Show off." (Jasper) "Hey Emmett, I heard that girl over there was a Sports Illustrated swimsuit model." (Emmett) "What?! Where?!" (Alice) "Ok, what is that chick WEARING??"

Jasper: "So, Emmett, you and Rosalie were being pretty loud last night..."
Alice: "We weren't being very quiet ourselves, Jasper..."
Emmett: "Dude, you got lucky too?"
Rosalie: *pretends not to hear the conversation*

Rosalie: So, I was thinking, this apple isn't even half as beautiful as me, seriously, like, my lips are more red. Aren't they, Edward? Eh? Eh?
Edward - coughs - Yeah...isn't it a bit cold on here? Oooooooooh! I've just heard some guy thought Bella's not wearing bra today.
Alice: Oh that's gross! Why is that guy scratching himself there?!!!
Jasper: It's what humans do, Alice, sometimes it itches.
Emmet: Ooooooh! I tell you what's gonna itch if Edward keeps looking Bella like that...

Rosalie: Want a pretty, juicy apple Eddie?
Edward: Shut up Rose, I don't want an apple. Hmm, is it just me or does Mike's hair seem different? It looks like mine... OME. HE COPIED MY DO!!! LEMME AT HIM.
Jasper: Rosiee!! Me wants the juicy appleee!!!
Emmett: Dude, Jaz. What the hell?
Alice: You know Edward, you might be right. And he actually might look BETTER than you do...
*all hell breaks loose*

Emmit: Aww man! Who just did that who just let one rip?
Alice: Geez Jasper that was just foul.
Jasper: *silence* What?
Rosalie: Edward, can you smell that I think its Jazz
Edward: Naw its just my new hair gel. You Like?

Emmett: Hey Jasper, you want to fight when we get home?
Jasper: I guess. Only because I know I can take you.
Emmett: No way!
Rosalie: Honey, I know you will beat him.
Emmett: Thanks Babe.
Alice: I can see who's going to win! (winks at Jasper)
Jasper: I told you.
Emmett: Rose, hand me that apple so I can hit of them with it.
Edward: You guys are so frustrating.
Rosalie: Your staring at the new girl, and we are frustrating?

Edward: "I can't figure it out."
Rosalie: "He looks so frustrated."
Emmet: "I wonder how many people we can egg."
Alice: "I'm not seeing a very good outcome."
Jasper: "Aww Alice! you always kill our plans."

Jasper: Alice, did you just fart?
Alice: Everyone look towards the door! I TOTALLY just predicted that Karen Martin is about to fall on her ass!
Emmett: Karen? Really? Does she have kit kats?? I love kit kats!!
Rosalie: Edward, is that..... a hickey??
Edward: Rosalie don't look at me. I'm too damaged and hurt for anyone to look at me. I'm Edward FREAKING Cullen!

Jasper: Emm... hello Rose...
Alice: *attonit* Jazz.. what?!
Emmet: Hey, dude, I can hear you...
Rose: *out side this world, thinking* Why apple are so red?
Edward: *Reading Rose's mind* Now I see why I'm not why her...


Jasper: *Cheking out Alice* Did u hear Rose and Emmet last night?
Alice: Yeah... And I'm trying to forget.
Emmet: Hey, dude, whay u said?
Rose: *thinking* This apple... it remins me something...
Edward: *reading Rose's mind* OMG, that gross...

arrrgggghhhh!!! nooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! spoiler! i haven't read the 4th book yet! bad! grrrrrrrrrrrr!!! im depressed ight now. :'c

Jasper: Emmett, stop looking at me like that. You're having trouble resisting Lauren's scent, too!
Alice: She smells like rotting garbage. I can't bellieve you both think she smells tasty.
Emmett: Shut up, Jazz, you don't know what I'm thinking. You're not Edward.
Rosalie: Edward, stop drooling over that stupid human. I'd like to throw this apple at her. I wonder if it would smash her skull?
Edward: I'd give Immortality to know what Bella's thinking right now. I'd also lilke to kill Mike Newton for his sick fantasties about her.

*All of them thinking*
Jasper: If I make Rose and Emmett pissed with each other, they'll break up and i can have Rose to myself!!! I'm such a genius!
Alice: OMG I think I already wore this dress 4 years ago!
Emmett: *jealous of Jasper's hair* I wonder if I can touch it without him noticing
Rosalie: If I throw this apple at Edward's head will it stop his mind reading?
Edward: psshh!! My family's minds are so immature!! So where was I? Oh right..Mike Newton looks so hot in that jacket!!!

Alice: "Ok, who ripped werewolf ass?"
Emmett: "It was you, wasn't it Jasper?"
Jasper: "Sorry, pretty boy. And don't think your external bodacious looks are equally internal as well..."
Emmett: "What did you just say?"
Jasper: "You're a vampire, you know you heard me"
Emmett: "No, really. I didn't understand a damn thing you said"
Rose: "Maybe Edward the magical mind reader can tell us"
Edward: "Of course I can, I'm just not telling."
Everyone: *silence*
Jasper: "It was you, wasn't it?"
Edward: "Yeah.........you think Bella can smell it?"

Bella- "OMG! I have to fart, but Edward will hear and smell it no matter where I am! I hate these human moments. Grrr"

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