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Gloves are off: Now imagine baseball without the Dodgers

September 23, 2011 |  4:58 pm

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When the gloves come off, the blows tend to get your attention. As soon as Frank McCourt gets those steaks off his eyes, let’s hope he can finally see how hopeless his situation is.

Not that he has any history to suggest he will.

But on Friday, Major League Baseball did away with the feints and jabs and the fancy footwork and just delivered a blow from the ankles. Pretense is no longer invited.

The Times’ Bill Shaikin wrote that MLB asked the bankruptcy court in a filing to order the team sold, said it would never approve any media rights deal that would enable McCourt to maintain team ownership and that such a sale could result in MLB discipline that could include the team's suspension from the league.

"No one will pay the [Dodgers] to broadcast Dodgers games if the club is not part of Major League Baseball," the filing reads. "Consequently, the [Dodgers'] path in this case is a dead end or worse."

Silly, right? Come on, that would be like the NFL playing the last 17 years without a team in Los Angeles.

Now try to imagine Major League Baseball without the Dodgers, you know, like Arte Moreno is right now.

The Angels would really come from behind the Orange Curtain if the Dodgers were suspended from the league. Los Angeles baseball fans would finally have to figure out what a Bobby Wilson, Alberto Callaspo and Garrett Richards is. Maybe we could loan them Vin Scully to ease the pain.

If they’re going to suspend the Dodgers, they might as well go ahead and suspend the Giants too. I mean, if they don’t have the Dodgers to hate, life has no baseball meaning to a Giants fans. Are they really supposed to get worked up over beating the Padres?

And what would happen to Dodger Stadium? There are only so many monster truck whatevers a stadium can host. How will all those goofball Dodgers fans propose? Where will Jameson Moss sing? Nancy Bea Hefley play? Tommy Lasorda fall asleep?

At least it would cut down on those increased security costs. Guess McCourt could return to his one true area of expertise and turn Dodger Stadium into a parking lot. Just don’t forget to water the palms.

Baseball without the Dodgers. Sounds like the Beatles without John Lennon, Mt. Rushmore without Lincoln, "Jersey Shore"without Snookie. It’s the worst idea ever, but then this is the worst ownership situation in baseball history.

RELATED:

MLB asks judge to order sale of Dodgers

Dodgers statement: MLB trying to force distressed sale

MLB move 'gutsy' but no sure winner, bankruptcy attorney says

Dodgers make deal to move radio flagship to KLAC next season

-- Steve Dilbeck

Photo: Matt Kemp is cheered on by Dodgers fans after hitting a walk-off home run against the Atlanta Braves on April 21. Credit: Allen J. Schaben / Los Angeles Times

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