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Dodgers' Web musings: Imagining how Frank and Jamie McCourt's settlement conferences might go

November 18, 2010 |  2:37 pm

So would you be a tad curious as to how those settlement conferences will go Friday for Frank and Jamie McCourt?

How’d you like to have Judge Peter Lichtman’s job as mediator, trying to bring these two together? If he pulls this baby off, he’s on the next flight to the Middle East. A Nobel Peace Prize would be a lock.

Lichtman is scheduled to have separate closed sessions with each party and their respective legal teams.

What would be right and fair at this point? Couldn’t tell you. If possible, it’s more baffling than People magazine’s stunning failure to once again name me sexiest man of the year.

Still, if they don’t figure out some way to come to an agreement, they’re leaving it in the court’s hands and looking forward to years of challenges. Not good for either of them, though for their army of lawyers, El Dorado delivered.

Maybe Lichtman sits down with Frank first and says:

Look, the Marital Post Agreement is such a labyrinth, it’s in your best interest to settle. So how about we split the difference and you take 75% of the team and figure out how to buy her out on the other 25%?

Also, you get the box seats with the mayor, the $150,000 a year hairdresser to your home, the private jet you can’t afford to fly, the go-fer you paid a quarter of your club charity’s budget to, and one of the seven mansions. Just not the one with the lap pool.

To Jamie, maybe he says:

Come on, 25% of the team is better than zero. He has to pay you a nice sum, which should be a great boon to your race for the presidency. Also, you still keep all but one of the 362 châteaus, the limo driver of your choice and you get first dibs on any future use of Vladimir Shpunt. And when Frank rents Dodger Stadium back to himself for $14 mill, you get a fourth of that too!

Meanwhile, elsewhere on the Web:

-- reports that catcher Brad Ausmus, who retired after finishing last season with the Dodgers, has been hired by the Padres as a special assistant to baseball operations. Also a former Padre, Ausmus still resides in San Diego.

--’s Tony Jackson
writes that Ivan De Jesus Jr. is regaining his hot-prospect form in the Arizona Fall League.

--’s Eric Stephen reports two Dodgers relievers have signed with other clubs, Cory Wade with Tampa Bay and Justin Miller (the tattooed one) with Seattle.

-- Get excited: is up and running again.

-- The Riverside Press-Enterprise reports that the 1988 World Series ring of Jimmy Campanis was stolen at a recent golf tournament in Chino Hills.

-- Steve Dilbeck