Dodgers' Web musings: Imagining how Frank and Jamie McCourt's settlement conferences might go

So would you be a tad curious as to how those settlement conferences will go Friday for Frank and Jamie McCourt?

How’d you like to have Judge Peter Lichtman’s job as mediator, trying to bring these two together? If he pulls this baby off, he’s on the next flight to the Middle East. A Nobel Peace Prize would be a lock.

Lichtman is scheduled to have separate closed sessions with each party and their respective legal teams.

What would be right and fair at this point? Couldn’t tell you. If possible, it’s more baffling than People magazine’s stunning failure to once again name me sexiest man of the year.

Still, if they don’t figure out some way to come to an agreement, they’re leaving it in the court’s hands and looking forward to years of challenges. Not good for either of them, though for their army of lawyers, El Dorado delivered.

Maybe Lichtman sits down with Frank first and says:

Look, the Marital Post Agreement is such a labyrinth, it’s in your best interest to settle. So how about we split the difference and you take 75% of the team and figure out how to buy her out on the other 25%?

Also, you get the box seats with the mayor, the $150,000 a year hairdresser to your home, the private jet you can’t afford to fly, the go-fer you paid a quarter of your club charity’s budget to, and one of the seven mansions. Just not the one with the lap pool.

To Jamie, maybe he says:

Come on, 25% of the team is better than zero. He has to pay you a nice sum, which should be a great boon to your race for the presidency. Also, you still keep all but one of the 362 châteaus, the limo driver of your choice and you get first dibs on any future use of Vladimir Shpunt. And when Frank rents Dodger Stadium back to himself for $14 mill, you get a fourth of that too!

Meanwhile, elsewhere on the Web:

-- MLB.com reports that catcher Brad Ausmus, who retired after finishing last season with the Dodgers, has been hired by the Padres as a special assistant to baseball operations. Also a former Padre, Ausmus still resides in San Diego.

-- ESPNLA.com’s Tony Jackson writes that Ivan De Jesus Jr. is regaining his hot-prospect form in the Arizona Fall League.

-- TrueBlueLA.com’s Eric Stephen reports two Dodgers relievers have signed with other clubs, Cory Wade with Tampa Bay and Justin Miller (the tattooed one) with Seattle.

-- Get excited: JamieEnterprises.net is up and running again.

-- The Riverside Press-Enterprise reports that the 1988 World Series ring of Jimmy Campanis was stolen at a recent golf tournament in Chino Hills.

-- Steve Dilbeck

Comments

[Just Askin']

Which McCourt gets Tommy Lasorda to kiss up to them every day?

[HI Dodger Fan]

sorry to see cory wade leave. he was really abused by torre in 2008. i hope he regains his form and is able to revive his career.

[skyharbor]

It is an interesting observation that the McCourats have done the impossible...muzzle Tom Lasorda. We know what Lasorda thought of Kingman's performance...it would be fun to hear what he thinks of the McCourat's performance. Meanwhile Los Padres have hired Brad Ausmus in addition to Dave Roberts and Mark Loretta which speaks volumes about the character of their franchise going forward. Betcha Messrs Roberts. Loretta and Ausmus are not getting their paychecks from the Padres Dream Foundation.

[alanw19]

First thing he has to do is figure out a way that when he's finished, they both walk away thinking they LOOK rich even though they ain't.

That's all the hell they've been about since they got to LA.

[BlueinAZ]

We need all the pitchers we can get. How did we not have Cory Wade under control?

So the Pads hire Ausmus. Rumors a few weeks ago had Colletti talking to Davey Lopes about coming back as a member of the coaching staff. That would have been an excellent thing to do. So I guess that means Colletti could not have allowed it to transpire, right?

[Steve Dilbeck]

BlueinAZ: Nah, think Colletti is on board with Lopes. The staff has yet to be announced, but could come at any time. It's expected to include Lopes.

[Jason Zelin]

Hi Steve, Your suggested mediation approach to the McCourts is spot on. As a lawyer and mediator myself, I appreciate your approach and solution to what has been pus-oozing sore on the LA scene all year. I have always found that humor is most useful when sides are locked into intractability and your suggestions are both wise and funny. Next year in Jerusalem? Jason Zelin

[Labeldude]

I myself am waiting for the day when Colletti is OVERboard, but that evidently IS NOT coming anytime soon.

[Native Angeleno]

I only hope Jamie is not as stupid as she sounded during the trial, and stick to her goal of 50%, as community property would have it, and let the judge decide exactly that, what with the mindboggling flaws in the inclusive, or was it exclusive, 'agreement'. Throw it out, judge, split the cash cow down the middle and force the sale.

And now, let us pray.

[brian]

Wouldn't it be nice if the McClowns could be treated like the dirt bags that they are and have the team taken from them? The Dodgers personnel, from batboys to players to Ned Colletti should sue them for non support! Ask for placement in baseball "foster care", ie, let Selig find suitable ownership for the team. Different has to be better, right? Whomever comes in to run the show would do a better job than the McDopes.